8 May 2016, Crown Palladium, Melbourne, Australia
Thank you Steve Molk at decidertv.com for sharing his transcription. Great Australian TV site.
That's all we have time for. Thank you very much. Good night.
Do not adjust your sets. There's nothing wrong with the picture. If you're in the room I'm sure there's an Instagram filter you could use to turn things to normal. It'll be fine.
This is happening.
It's true. Finally a male presenter on commericial TV has won the Gold Logie.
I probably should apologise up front to my kids. My daughter and especially my son. I'm pretty sure he was barracking for Grant Denyer tonight, and it was hard work because I had to stop him voting and the only argument I could come up with was that he wasn't yet voting age. You can't vote until you're old enough to have an unrequited crush on a Home and Away star or something like that. It seemed to work, so thank him for abstaining.
Before I get stuck in in earnest I think it is really, really important to acknowledge... actually I want more to celebrate the extraordinary talents and contributions and achievements of my fellow nominees tonight because they genuinely are a remarkable field.
It only struck me today when I set my mind to it. The thing that struck me about it was that each nominee brilliantly distills some separate piece of Australia and I think it's an amazing thing, it's a fantastic thing that that can be a symbol on this night in this way and I'd encourage you to think about that because if you step back and look at all those pieces assembled it is a truly spectacular mosaic and we should really be celebrating that fact.
So congratulations to them for everything they've achieved and everything they're gonna go on to achieve and please know that in no way do I feel that I deserve to be here more than any one of you. I thank you for being a part of the class of 2016 with me because it's been fantastic to be associated with you.
I don't... I wanna do my best to keep this as brief as I can because everyone at home wants to go to sleep and everyone in this room has a night that is about to begin and I know you're all keen to get into some stuff and... no, no I mean like your first carbohydrate in six months or something.
So I'm not gonna do a huge roll call of thanks, but I would, because I didn't mention them before I do wanna thank my agents particularly. Michael, and especially Jessinta who has I'm sure so many heated arguments with people and I don't even know they're happening so I can get about my job and that's fantastic to have someone in your corner like that. It makes a huge difference and thank you for being so entertaining when you're doing it.
And I do also want to thank one more time my wife Susan. There's only one more think I wanna say - I could say a lot more about Susan - but the reality is, and this is just a dirty little secret I've carried around for a long time, but if she had my job she'd be better at it than me.
She is sharper, she is wittier, she is funnier, she is infinitely more charming and likable, and I'm really glad she doesn't have my job because otherwise I definitely wouldn't have it. The reason she doesn't is because she has bigger, more important things to do, and everyone who knows her knows that she changes you, and she makes you better. She's done that in her work, she's done that in her community work and they don't give statuettes to people like that, sadly.
But one day if life's fair they might just give her a statue.
I think it's fair to say I never anticipated I'd win a Logie. Not in a sort of I'd fall short kind of way but I couldn't conceive of this - I was more likely to win an AFL grand final in my mind than to win a Logie, and I'm still hoping for that.
That means I'm a little bit gobsmacked but I am hugely appreciative of the audience decided to throw me a bouquet in this way on this night, and I know it's temporary, and I know I will probably never be here again and I know that one day, probably very soon, I'll merely be the answer to some obscure trivia question or if I'm really, really lucky the subject of one of those "Where Are They Now" specials that gets show on Sunday afternoons. That's when they're shown, definitely in non-ratings period.
If I'm really lucky that's what will happen but tonight, tonight to know that when you've just started a new gig and I know I'm the work experience kid - like I've been here five minutes - when you've just started a new gig to know the audience has accepted you into their universe is the most wonderful feeling and I do not take that for granted and I want everybody in this room to know that.
I also know, and this is a really important point, I also know that every individual award, whether it be a Brownlow or a Dally M or an award like this is misleading. Every individual award tells a lie of some sort because it's really about the people that gather around you that delivers these awards to you and I'm incredibly blessed to be surrounded by so many of those people so I'm happy to accept this award but I accept it on behalf of our show - a show that is not afraid to make mistakes by going after something that might be a bit risky, or trying to tell a boring story in a more interesting way and it's the mistakes that I probably cherish more than anything else. Not that I'm going to tell you what they are but I'm definitely cherish them. I think that's what makes our show a show.
And I think it is no coincidence that both Carrie and I were nominated tonight. It is no coincidence that our show has been represented on this spot in this way for two years in a row, and the reason that is the case I think is because this is a show that lands not only on people's television screens but also in people's hearts and I can't claim credit for that but I'm hugely proud of it.
And finally I wanna claim this award on behalf of actually a couple of people. People like this guy called Dimitri, who none of you will know, he's a guy who just came up to me about a week ago and he did something that most people don't do.
He didn't come up to me and wish me good luck for tonight. He came up to me and through gritted teeth commanded me to claim this award tonight. And it was a bit scary and I dare not cross him so I'm glad I can look him in the face again, but he communicated something to me and it was that this really, really mattered to him. This really meant something to him.
He didn't vote, by the way. I didn't really want to point that out to him at the time. There have been a lot of people in the last week or two that have made it really, really clear to me that me being here right now really matters to them. And it matters to them for a particular reason.
That reason was brought home shudderingly not so long ago actually when someone, who is in this room and I'm not going to use their name that they use in the industry, came up to me and introduced themselves to me and said, "I really hope you win. My name's Mustafa, but I can't use that name because I won't get a job."
He's here tonight.
And it matters to people like that that I'm here. And I know - it's not because of me. I know that.
So to Dimitri and Mustafa and everyone else with an unpronounceable name - I dunno, Waleed - I really just wanna say one thing and this is that I am incredibly humbled that you would even think to invest in me in that way, but I'm also incredibly saddened by it because the truth is you deserve more numerous and more worthy avatars than that and I don't know if and when that's gonna happen but if tonight means anything - and I don't know if it does - but if tonight means anything it's that the Australian public - our audience - as far as they're concerned, there's absolutely no reason why that can't change.
Thank you very much. Good night. Have a good one. Thank you.
- See more at: http://decidertv.com/page/2016/5/10/logies-speeches-tim-minchin-noni-hazlehurst-waleed-aly#sthash.yZz5A3Vf.dpuf