26 September 2020, Melbourne, Australia
This speech was written and filmed for my Liz Eliott-Lockhart's 50th birthday. The second Melbourne lockdown in 2020 meant I was unable to attend her 50th birthday party in WA. I wanted to provide a lasting memory for her, so I wrote and filmed this speech.
A message for my sister on her 50th birthday.
I’m sorry we can’t be there for your party
But sadly the entire world conspired against me.
Instead of driving or harnessing aviation
and spending the next four weeks in isolation,
from Melbourne comes this video presentation,
In time for your 50th birthday celebration.
As we all know, Craze women have lots to say,
So I’ll try not to take up too much of your day.
Of course I am in costume as you requested
Because a younger sister will never be bested.
Our parents lived in Canada when you were born
And after four years I came along.
Mum used to say I was your baby
And you didn’t need her to raise me.
I never needed to get out of my cot
Or walk or talk because you did the lot!
As we grew up, you always looked out for me
Already the wonderful person I know you to be.
We were never at the same school for very long
Two very different people but we mostly got along.
I always used to think you liked me
Until the day you tried to kill me.
All alone on our first camping trip
Driving along at quite a clip.
The whole southwest was aghast
As two cute blondes flashed past.
Going so fast my nerves started to twitch
One fast turn and then crash, into a ditch!
Mum and Dad were not impressed.
It was an accident! You stressed.
I admit at the time I was hard to convince
But you have made up for it ever since.
I always remember your passion for dance
And the hope you carried of serendipitous romance.
Sadly, you will never be Mr Darcy’s wife
But there remains a love story in your life.
One day you met Pete at university
And your future gained more clarity.
A man both amiable and true,
He seemed the perfect one for you.
The two of you set off on many an adventure
And travel became your shared thirst quencher.
There were no trips to a Gold Coast timeshare
Instead you moved to the middle of nowhere.
In Meekatharra you began building your life together,
With the dust, the pub and the scorching hot weather.
She’s gone crazy, I used to secretly whisper.
Because the only person happy to live there was my sister.
Then you both took off on an intrepid expedition
A notion that seems quaint in our current situation.
As you made your way through the islands of Asia
It seemed nothing was ever going to faze ya.
Across the mainland into the Middle East
Seeing sights that sadly no longer exist.
All through Europe with no Contiki Tour in sight,
In London Town did you eventually alight.
There you both did the traditional thing
Working crappy jobs and living on a shoestring.
No one knew it then but life was easy and fun
That’s always the case until kids come along.
Travelling and working in Derby and Italy
And even a job as a nanny in Turkey.
You spent those years together and apart
Keeping the other close to your heart.
Growing up it had always been your dream
To marry a man who proposed at Gretna Green.
So Pete, dutiful as always, did the right thing
And drove miles out of his way to present you the ring.
The wedding was held one Scottish summer’s day,
And in that great Scottish tradition, rain got in the way.
The bridal car stalled and the guests were stuck in traffic,
But through it all, well – I’m afraid you did start to panic.
Eventually, the guests arrived and everyone came together
To see Pete and Liz marry in spite of the weather.
In honour of the couple we all raised a cup
And all the men thought, ‘lucky Pete, he’s married up.’
For their honeymoon the couple would not be beaten
And set off through Africa in a jeep older than them.
The postcards that arrived had a very low bar
They all told a tale of a troublesome car.
From the pyramids of Egypt to the lions of Kenya
To the sandhills of the Namib and the rivers of Zambia.
Across Africa Pete and Liz trekked wide and far
Beholden only to the mood of their car.
One day they arrived back in Perth
And Liz embarked on a series of firsts.
She went to school to get her teacher’s degree
And set about having two babies.
Settling down to a new Geraldton life
Liz relished being a teacher, mother and wife.
Then she had the idea to set up a lavender farm
I admit the idea caused me some alarm.
We were never a family of small business owners
And no-one ever moved out of town to grow flowers.
Nevertheless, with her usual determination and grit
Liz commandeered Pete and set about building it.
What emerged was a beautiful café and venue
Set among gently rolling hills all around you.
Dad will tell you how she is so much like mum
But Liz lives her own life and beats her own drum.
As the years went by and her children grew
There was always time to learn something new.
From patchwork to scrapbooks, soap making and pole dancing,
To coffee brewing, art teaching, and mortgage refinancing.
Sometimes it seems like Liz can do anything,
That is, of course, until you hear her singing.
Each year that passed saw a new skill to master,
The kids even learned how to drive without killing her.
Always organising and planning everyday
When Liz sets her mind to it, just get out of the way.
In my own life the arrival of my first born son
Showed Liz was still the one that I could count on.
Then came the awful news one summer morning
Our mother had died in Vietnam without warning.
Losing your mum changes you in many ways,
We learned how to live with just her memory in our days.
Throughout the years Liz is always on the phone
The comforting presence of my sister in my home.
All through these months of lockdown and remote learning
Was the steady support of my sister, kindly listening.
She continues to love my children from afar,
So Tashi and Angus, remember how lucky you are.
Liz, on this special occasion of your 50th birthday
Never forget … YOU are loved in every way.
In conclusion, I know your party will be epic
And the best thing about this Covid-19 pandemic.
Please know I will be there as soon as I can,
I just need to get past Mark McGowan and Chairman Dan.