Zach Wahls: 'The sexual orientation of my parents has had zero effect on the content of my character', Opposition to House Joint Resolution 6 Banning Civil Unions - 2011

1 February 2011, Iowa State House, Dew Moines, Iowa, USA

Good evening Mr. Chairman. My name is Zach Wahls. I'm a sixth-generation Iowan and an engineering student at the University of Iowa and I was raised by two women.

My biological mom, Terry, told her grandparents that she was pregnant, that the artificial insemination had worked, and they wouldn't even acknowledge it.

It wasn't until I was born and they succumbed to my infantile cuteness that they broke down and told her that they were thrilled to have another grandson.

Unfortunately, neither of them lived to see her marry her partner Jackie of 15 years when they wed in 2009.

My younger sister and only sibling was born in 1994. We actually have the same anonymous donor so we're full siblings, which is really cool for me.

I guess the point is our family really isn't so different from any other Iowa family. You know, when I'm home we go to church together, we eat dinner, we go on vacations. But, you know, we have our hard times too, we get in fights...

Actually my mom, Terry was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 2000. It is a devastating disease that put her in a wheelchair. So we've had our struggles.

But, you know, we're Iowans. We don't expect anyone to solve our problems for us. We'll fight our own battles. We just hope for equal and fair treatment from our government.

Being a student at the University of Iowa, the topic of same sex marriage comes up quite frequently in classroom discussions... The question always comes down to, well, "Can gays even raise kids?"

...The conversation gets quiet for a moment because most people don't really have any answer. And then I raise my hand and say, "Actually, I was raised by a gay couple, and I'm doing pretty well."

I scored in the 99th percentile on the ACT. I'm actually an Eagle Scout. I own and operate my own small business. If I was your son, Mr. Chairman, I believe I'd make you very proud.

I'm not really so different from any of your children. My family really isn't so different from yours. After all, your family doesn't derive its sense of worth from being told by the state: "You're married. Congratulations."

No. The sense of family comes from the commitment we make to each other. To work through the hard times so we can enjoy the good ones. It comes from the love that binds us. That's what makes a family.

So what you're voting here isn't to change us. It's not to change our families, it's to change how the law views us; how the law treats us.

You are voting for the first time in the history of our state to codify discrimination into our constitution, a constitution that but for the proposed amendment, is the least amended constitution in the United States of America.

You are telling Iowans that some among you are second-class citizens who do not have the right to marry the person you love.

So will this vote affect my family?

Would it affect yours?

In the next two hours I'm sure we're going to hear plenty of testimony about how damaging having gay parents is on kids.

But in my 19 years, not once have I ever been confronted by an individual who realized independently that I was raised by a gay couple.

And you know why? Because the sexual orientation of my parents has had zero effect on the content of my character.

Thank you very much.

Cate McGregor, 'We've got to be better than she is', response to Margaret Court's views, ABC's The Drum' - 2017

1 June 2017, ABC Studios, Canberra, Australia

In May 2017 tennis great Margaret Court wrote a letter to The West Australian decrying Qantas airlines for being a corporate supporter of same-sex marriage. The 24 times Grand Slam singles champion claimed she would boycott the airline. There was outrage and calls for Court's name to be removed from Melbourne Park. Cate McGregor is a cricket commentator, writer and activist for transgender issues.

Airbrushing a great player out of Australia’s sporting history by removing her name from that arena would be a mistake.

I think it’s a strategic mistake for the LGBTI community to pile on to her, given her views, as repugnant as I find them, are clearly in accordance with her faith , and they are bona fide held.

I think [Margaret Court] has absolutely overstepped any support from theology or religion in some of her discursive remarks about the families of transgender kids, which are just nonsense.

To go on about the parents of trans kids failing or neglecting their children and that transgenderism is some kind of parental failure.

I know a lot of families with young kids who are grappling with gender issues. They are loving families, there is a mother and father present, the kids are loved to bits.

And those parents only want two things:

They want their child to be happy, and primarily, they want them to not kill themselves.

And I've had that conversation with numerous families.

The risk of self harm among kids experiencing this kind of conflict doesn't need to be compounded by this sort of gratuitous unsubstantiated nonsense..

The first person to liken anybody to a Nazi generally loses an argument, and I'm almost delighted she's done that.

And I would have thought that talking about the LGBTI community in respect of grooming children for sex is pretty poor taste coming from a Christian clergywoman in the current climate. 

If anyone has forfeited their moral authority in this domain it has to be the Australian Christian churches who have presided over systematic child abuse that we have learned about recently through Royal Commissions.

The free speech element is important though. I add weight to that because the pile-on last week strategically helped her. It gave prominence to her views and it rendered her a victim.

Trans people are probably maximum about two percent of the population.  We face enormous ridicule and discrimination. No one wants to be transgendered. We don't choose it, we're born like it.

If it's the work of the devil, then 'by your work shall we know them'.

I went to bed last night not having made the life of any other Australian miserable to the extent that I am at least aware of.

This woman has to look at her conscience and live with her remarks and ask herself as a Christian when she examines her conscience, has she dealt with us lovingly? She says she loves homosexuals but not their sin.

I think the onus is now on the media and other people to question that very deeply.

And I'll close on this. And the last thing that really sickens me with this, is the constant obsession of this strand of fundamentalist Christianity, with LGBTI people.

We're all sinners, according to the teaching of both the Old and the New Testaments. We're all broken in our humanity. Every one of us grabbles to lead an authentic decent life.

I happen to be a believer...to think that I arrived at my life decision without a process of agonising discernment is ...an offensive and gratuitously offensive thing to say to me when she has no experience of my life or parental background.

And the bottom line on this, is that there are numerous other sins alluded to, but I don't ever hear her going on about adultery,

I don’t hear her lecturing people on their second marriages as adulterers, because she would lose half the Australian population if she did

But we’re the low-hanging fruit, you can kick us to death to the applause of the mainstream media and ramp up solicitations for money ...as I saw her acolytes doing on christian radio the other day ...  and it’s frankly sick making.

I respect this woman for her achievements, I oppose efforts to boycott the Australian Open or to rename that arena because it smacks of Stalinist airbrushing of someone’s history and that’s making them an unperson and it's wrong

But I would ask her to think very heavily and examine her conscience about the impacts these remarks have on a very small minority of Australians, whose lives are difficult enough without this kind of stuff.

I don't think persecuting a 74 year old Christian pastor is actually going to take us anywhere. She was a living national treasure for a while, and piling on to her is going to erode our moral authority.

All we can can do just be visible and proud and not break under this and live our lives authentically.

We’ve got to be better than she is, that’s the crazy double standard, we’ve got to show dignity when she’s not required to.

Rich Bartlett: 'The constant charade that was my life had become too much', Pride Assembly, Melbourne Grammar School - 2017

17 May 2017, St Catherine's School, Melbourne, Australia

Melbourne Grammar School student Rich Bartlett took inspiration for this speech from Thomas Lloyd.

Why do you tell people that you’re gay? A range of people have asked me this question for opposing reasons; as, for some, it has been a way to shame me, a reflection of the stigma our society places on the word gay; yet, from others, this question is posed from a place of love and concern.

For me, there are three reason why I tell people my sexuality. One, my obligation to the reality of my own identity. Two, my obligation to the history of my community; and three, my obligation to those yet to come.

To understand this responsibility that I have to myself, let me take you back to year seven as it was around this point in my life that even though I didn’t necessarily feel all that different from my peers, I felt that they were starting to see me as different.

I remember the first time someone asked me why I talked the way I do. With this one remark, I suddenly became very conscious of every single syllable I uttered. Actions that I had previously taken for granted like walking-something we normally do without hesitation-were on my mind every second of the day. In this way, all my creative energy was now directed to covering what it was that made me unique and this was an exhausting process that I kept up throughout years 7, 8 and 9. I did this because I never wanted to be associated with being gay; I was ashamed of my sexuality and would have done anything to change it.

However, by the time I had reached year 10, the constant charade that was my life had become too much, impacting on both my physical and mental health. I may have been constantly surrounded by friends and family; but, I could not have been more isolated as I was merely an imposter to these people and they loved me for this person I was not. Yet still, there was a voice nagging in my head telling me to continue the life that I had led: why subject myself to potential harm if I had the ability to hide my sexuality?

Around the time that I was having these thoughts, I became more familiar with the history of the gay community. Events such as the Stonewall riots which prompted the First Gay Pride March in 1970 and horrific hates crimes like the Orlando massacre where 49 people were killed simply because they were different, acted as a reminder to me that people were and are still murdered for something they are born with: their sexuality.  For me, the more I learnt about this community, the more strongly I felt that I had to tell people I was a part of it. Not only to honour the many people who had lost their lives but also to make sure that their actions were not in vain.

And so, in year 10, I decided to tell some of my closest friends this secret that I had now been harbouring for years. But, to tell them this one thing, was to be the hardest and scariest thing that I have ever done. As you can perhaps empathise or sympathise, I felt intense dread knowing that if my best friends did not accept me for my sexuality which is something I could not change, my relationships with these people would dramatically alter forever. Some of these friendships stretched back to primary school, and it was terrifying to think that a relationship which had spanned more than half my life could be broken by my friends’ reactions.

Once I had told them though, I felt like this secret that I was clutching so tightly to myself could at last be released. I finally had a handful of people with whom I could truly be myself and not have to wear a mask; and this, was truly liberating. From that moment on, I refused to use my energy to bend myself to society. Instead, I would use my energy to bend society to accept me and the people who are yet to come.

So now, we reach the final part of answering this question of why I tell people I am gay which looks to the future, to those in the community who do not have a safe place to be their true-self. And, for these people, I see it as my obligation to be visible and to own my identity unapologetically. I do this, in the hope that those who do not have a colleague, friend or family member who would accept them, can one day find someone with whom they can share their secret and then, they can stand with us.

Before I finish responding to my very first remark, I want to make it clear why my story is not only relevant to anyone in the room who is questioning their sexuality but to everyone. Here at MGS, diversity is one of our values because we recognise the importance of having a culture where people feel valued and accepted for who they are. As it is only then, when we feel comfortable with our differences can we bring forth our innate gifts and passions at school.  In this light, let us realise that by encouraging diversity we bring invaluable richness to this school and let us realise that it is only by accepting ourselves that we can truly be free.

And so, to answer the initial question with which I began my speech, I tell people I am gay because I cannot get married in any state or territory in Australia. I tell people I am gay because 1 in 14 transgender people will be murdered. I tell people I am gay because to not do so would render a disservice to who I am, the community of which I am a part, and to those who are yet to stand with us – but may do so, in time.

Katy Perry: 'Most of my unconscious adolescence, I prayed the gay away at my Jesus camps', Human Rights Campaign Gala - 2017

18 March 2017, JW Marriott, Los Angeles, California, USA

Thank you, guys. A little back story. Shannon Woodward, one of my best friends … A lot of my best friends are here tonight because I love them and I’m obsessed with them, and I’m loyal. They’ve taught me pretty much everything I know. Shannon, actually, I used to sleep on her couch. I was couch-surfing on her couch and I used to eat her frozen chicken tenders from Trader Joe’s. They were so good.

Here is the thing about that woman, we’ve kind of like raised each other. I’ll get into it in a second, but basically one time, I said, “I’m not a feminist because I don’t grow hair underneath my arms,” and stuff like that because I really didn’t understand what that meant. She lovingly pulled me aside as the strong woman she is and great friend, and those are great friends, and she goes, “Hey, this is what the word 'feminist' means.”

I was like, “What? This whole time? I’m a feminist.”

I love her so very much and I love all my friends that teach me everything that I’ve learned today so thank you so much for this incredible, humbling award. I got to say there is no other community that has done more to shape who I am today, and there is no other community that I believe in more than you.

This community here tonight has achieved more progress toward a more perfect union in a short amount of time as any group in our history. I stand with you and I know that we stand together against discrimination whether it be in the LGBTQ community, or our Latino brothers and sisters, or the millions of Muslims in this country.

I’m just a singer-songwriter, honestly. I speak my truths and I paint my fantasies into these little bite-size pop songs. For instance, I kissed a girl and I liked it. Truth be told: (a) I did more than that and … (b) how was I going to reconcile that with a gospel singing girl raised in youth groups that were pro-conversion camps?

What I did know is that I was curious and even then I knew sexuality wasn’t as black and white as this dress. Honestly, I haven’t always gotten it right, but in 2008, when that song came out, I knew that I started a conversation that a lot of the world seemed curious enough to sing along to.

Let’s take a trip down memory lane for one second. My first words were mama and dada, God and Satan. Right and wrong were taught to me on felt boards and of course through the glamorous Jan Crouch crying diamond teardrops every night on that Vaseline-TBN television screen. Make some noise if you know who I’m talking about.

When I was growing up, homosexuality was synonymous with the word abomination and hell, a place of gnashing of teeth, continuous burning of skin and probably Mike Pence’s ultimate guest list for a barbecue.

No way, no way! I wanted the pearly gates and the unlimited fro-yo toppings. Most of my unconscious adolescence, I prayed the gay away at my Jesus camps, but then in the middle of it all, in a twist of events, I found my gift and my gift introduced me to people outside my bubble and my bubble started to burst.

These people were nothing like who I had been taught to fear. They were the most free, strong, kind and inclusive people I have ever met. They stimulated my mind and they filled my heart with joy and they freaking danced all the while doing it. These people are actually magic and they are magic because they are living their truth. Oh my goddess, what a revelation ... and not the last chapter of the bible. Suffice to say, it’s been a long road for me and I’m sure a long road for many of you out there.

I know it doesn’t always feel safe to live out who you are, but here’s the thing though, I would have not chosen a different road. Priceless lessons have been learned. The path of discovery has made me, has tested me and forever changed me. You don’t get to choose your family, but you can choose your tribe. Many of the people I admire and trust, and work with belong to the LGBTQ community. Without them, I’d be half of the person I am today. My life is rich in every capacity because of them.

They are trusted allies that provide a safe space to fall, to not know it all and to make mistakes. These are the people I hold dear. See, I hope I stand here as real evidence for all that no matter where you came from, it’s about where you are going and that real change, real evolution and real perception shift can happen if we open our minds and soften our hearts. People can change. Believe me, it would have been easier just to stay the whipped cream tit, spring, poppy, light, fluffy, fun, anthems by the way of animal totem singing girl who was basically somewhat neutralist in a stance and just thought more hugs could save the world.

No way. No longer can I sit in silence. I have to stand for what I know is true and that is equality and justice for all, period.

That’s why the HRC is so important and I am so grateful for them being on the front lines every day from civil union legislation, to repealing 'don’t ask, don’t tell', to getting rid of DOMA at the Supreme Court which paved the way for marriage equality across the country and continuing to fight for trans equality amongst all things.

I don’t have to tell you that we have a lot more to do. We have to create a safe space for us to ask questions of ourselves and others and to keep the conversation going because the loudest voice in the room or on your TV set isn’t always right, but that little voice inside of you, pushing you to discover who you are is a trusted friend.

None of us have the answers, or all of them at least, but it’s time to lead with empathy and grace and compassion now more than ever to find the unity we need now.

I’ll never cease to be a champion, an ally, a spotlight and a loving voice for all LGBTQ identifying people. Whatever your sexuality, your gender, your preferred pronouns, blossom to be, we all know it ain’t so black and white and I will continue to champion the people that have been a champion for me.

Many friends and loved ones from the LGBTQ family have raised me into the woman I am today and I want to dedicate this award to one of my greatest champions of my life, my manager, Bradford Elton Cobb III.

I think it’s almost, like, 15 years because he believed in me before it all. Secretly paying my rent for years and bringing me leftovers from hamburger [inaudible 00:09:36]. He really did! I know we really connected on a soul level though because we came from the same upbringing where it was difficult to be our authentic selves. We had similar struggles breaking out of our suppressive shelves but we kept inspiring each other, challenging each other and retiring our past frame of mind.

We broke the cycle and now we’re living our best most authentic lives. I love you, B. Cobb. There will be obstacles, but we all know everything good takes work, but we can’t let our past get in the way of our brilliant future.

These days, I get an incomparable high from finally knowing myself and it feels more real than any story I was ever told on a felt board. It feels sparkly as fuck. Truth be told, I think a lot of that has to do with the magic that has rubbed off on me from all of you.

Thank you so much.