9 February 2022, Dublin, Ireland
Dublin isn’t a big city (about a million people) so when there’s something going on, there’s generally a bit of buzz about, and you hear about it. If you want to be part of that buzz, all you need is to get some fifties in your pocket to have a good time. At home, you know where to find it. You know where the sellers hang around beforehand. You kind of have an idea of the shape of what they look like and whether they've got what you need. They nod you off to a quiet corner where there's not too many people hanging around, so they're not that visible.
I say “Can I see it?”. It was the line I wanted. I said where did you get this anyway? He said my pal couldn't come so that's why I have it. I knew fine well that he had a lot more than what he had shown me in his pocket but there you go. The deal was done in a minute or less.
In the States though it's different. We were staying in Carmel, California. There was a bit of buzz about and we wanted to be part of it, but I didn’t know how to get what I needed. I went down to the lobby of the hotel and started drinking coffee for the afternoon, trying to figure out the cut of different blokes. Which of them was going to have what I needed. I finally settled on one particular bloke that I felt kinda had the swagger and the shape that I was looking for. I approached him. I was right. “I can't get this for you”, he said “give me a minute”. He came back with a phone number. “Call this number, but you're not going to get it'll 5:00 AM tomorrow because that's when he does business”. I thanked him.
I called the number. The guy on the phone didn’t sound too savoury. He said “turn up at this address at 5:00 AM. Wait inside. Don’t be late. And, no fifties.”
The following morning, I ended up on what looked like a Wharf. One side an old stone-looking buildings. On the other rusted fishing boats. I go up to this great big door, push it open with a big creaky sound. It’s about ten to five with “don’t be late” and “no fifties” ringing in my ears.
I step inside. The door closes. The street lights gone. I'm standing there thinking “Oh my God what happens now?” There's no light in here. Two minutes in, my eyes haven't adjusted to the dark. There's still no sound, and yet I have this foreboding feeling that somebody is watching me from somewhere. I look at my watch. Five to five. Still no sound. No light. Pitch black.
I'm cold now because its summer and I only have a T shirt. Then I hear the echo of very purposeful footsteps coming towards me. A big blinding light goes on behind the guy that's now standing in front of me. All I hear is “show me the money. No fifties. ”
I pulled out the $200. It’s 10s and 20s. “there you go” I said meekly. He puts an envelope on my hands “it's in there”. With that, the light goes off and he’s gone.
It takes ten minutes in the car for my knees to stop shaking before I can drive.
When I get back to the hotel, Sue says “How did you get on?”
I say: “Get yourself out of that bed my darling, the action starts in a couple of hours and, fifties or no fifties, we are going to be part of it.
“I tell you – only that I love you madly - I wouldn’t go through that again. My legs were like jelly for about 10 minutes afterwards. It was just scary. But, you know, I’d do anything for you whether that’s getting you a halfway line ticket for the Ireland-England rugby match at Lansdowne Road, or tickets for today for the US Open Golf at Pebble Beach. We’re on.”
