David Cicilline: 'How the Grinch stole middle class tax cuts', Congress floor speech - 2017

19 December 2017, Congress, Washington DC, USA

With a little help from Dr. Seuss, I’d like to share the story of How the Grinch Stole Middle Class Tax Cuts.

Every middle class family wanted tax cuts a lot,
But the Grinch, who lived in a big white house, did not!
The Grinch hated middle class tax cuts.   He wanted the whole tax code uneven.
Now please don’t ask why.  No one quite knows the reason.

It could be his head was screwed on a bit wrong.
It could be his ties were two inches too long.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
Was his heart (or his hands) were two sizes too small.

Whatever the reason, his heart or his ties,
He stood on Christmas Eve, planning workers’ demise.
Staring out from his office with a sour, Grinchy frown,
At the workers’ warm lighted windows below in their town.

"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
He said from his office with a terrible sneer.
“Why, for 71 years I’ve put up with it now!”
"I MUST stop these middle class tax cuts! But HOW?"

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
The Grinch got a terrible, awful idea.
"I know just what to do!" The Grinch thought with a pause.
"With this coat and this hat, I look like Santa Claus!"

Then he loaded some empty bags on his plane,
And he took off to cause some mean grinchy pain.
While working families dreamed of sweet tax cuts without care,
The Grinch came to the first little house on the square.

"This is stop number one," the old Grinch Claus hissed,
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney, Santa suit all in place,
And he stuck his head out of the small fireplace.

Where the tax deductions all hung in a row.
"These deductions," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Personal Exemptions!  Home Equity Interest! State and Local Taxes Too!
“I’ll take almost every deduction away from you!”

Then he slunk to the tax brackets—the corporate tax cuts were HUGE!
Why, that Grinch even took the Arctic Wildlife Refuge…
"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, with his sacks in a net.
“I’ll stack the deficit with one trillion in debt!”

Then he heard a small sound, a child’s soft cry,
"Why are you taking our deductions, Grinch? WHY?"
But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick,
That he thought up a fib, and he thought it up quick!

"Why, my sweet little tot," the Grinch said on the fly,
“I’m here because corporate taxes are far too high”
“So I’m taking most of your deductions away,”
“To help corporations…and you get to pay!”

“See my dear child, there’s no reason to frown,”
“We’ll make them more wealthy, but it will all trickle down.”
His fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head,
And he got her a tax postcard and sent her to bed.

The Grinch took one last look at her sad little pup,
And he went to the chimney and shoved the deficit up!
Health care for 13 million was the last thing he took,
Then he slithered away without another look.
In their homes he left nothing but debt and despair

While giving handouts to corporations, the Grinch didn’t care
And the one deduction that he extolled,
Was even too small for a single household.
He rode with his load of deductions for dumping!

"Pooh Pooh to the middle class" he said gleefully jumping.
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
And they’ll all cry “‘Boo Hoo!’”

"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch, "That I simply MUST hear!"
So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.

He stared down aghast! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every American, the tall and the small,
Loudly demanding tax cuts for all.

We want our deductions and A Better Deal,
Not tax cuts for corporations while you cut Meals on Wheels.
And the Grinch, with his small hands ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"

Am I a fool? Are my policies all wrong?
Without those deductions, can the nation be strong?
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he’d not tweeted before!

“Maybe tax cuts should help more than just corporations,”
“Maybe this Christmas I can help the whole nation!”
“America’s middle class is what made it thrive,
“They need these deductions if they’re to survive!”

We all know how the real story ends,
The Grinch finds his heart and he makes amends.
Now we know this tax bill won’t end with such glee,
Because the President and corporate lobbyists control the GOP.

This Christmas, families will get just coal in their stocking,
Thanks to President Trump, the final result will be shocking.