Ruth: 'May you always feel as close as you do this day', for Karla and Simon - 2009

Brisbane, 2009

I wanted to begin by saying how absolutely beautiful Karla looks today. Simon is a very lucky man. And I guess he doesn’t look too bad either.

Now for anyone who doesn’t know who I am, I used to be Karla’s younger sister. But, since Karla now absolutely refuses to move past the age of 29 that means that I am now the older sister, which actually means I am officially the boss of her.

Our brother David is here tonight as well, but as he would rather be poked in the eye with a burning stick than stand up in front of a group and give a speech the duty of giving a speech has fallen to me.

I have to say that when Karla first told me she was going to go on a date with her old flame Simon S- I thought the whole thing was pretty hilarious. The last time I saw Simon before I met him again recently was on the day he was breaking up with Karla when she was 14. She was in her room crying and Simon was very distressed at being the cause of her tears so he kept coming out to my prime eavesdropping position on the verandah and saying, “What should I do?” Given that Karla and I spent our entire adolescence pretty much hating each others guts I responded with a very caring, “Don’t worry about it, she is always crying. She’ll get over it.” So I didn’t really offer him much help.

The fact that we have ended up here tonight means that they have, in my opinion, one of the best marriage stories ever to tell their kids.

I could stand here and say a lot of lovely things about Karla. I could tell you how amazing she is and how many obstacles she has overcome in her life. I could tell you all about her incredible capacity for care and love, about the strength of loyalty and commitment to her family and friends, about her capacity to be the life of the party and bring joy and laughter into people’s lives, but anyone who knows Karla will know these things without having to be told.

But one thing I did want to talk about, and the thing that as most delighted me in recent years, is Karla’s newfound willingness to move outside of her comfort zone and into the unknown. She initially started this journeying within the relatively safe confines of a Contiki Tour. Though she panicked about every detail and tossed and turned through many sleepless nights stressing prior to her departure, she came back a new woman. From a scared traveller who focused on what could go wrong to “I think next time I will go by myself and just hire a car.” Her growth and courage has been very impressive to witness.

She has been on many trips since that first Contiki tour and the travel she has done to the far corners of the globe has also been accompanied by some internal journeying as well. But the biggest change she has undergone is evidenced in what we are here today to celebrate.

She has finally attracted a wonderful man into her life. As I have gotten to know Simon I found him to be genuine, down-to-earth, kind, caring, humble and always ready to have a laugh. Exactly the kind of guy you hope your sister ends up with and someone I am very much looking forward to getting to know better over the next few decades. Since she has been with Simon I have never seen Karla so happy, with the possible exception of Brisbane Lions winning the grand final.

It is so obvious that they are meant to be together and I feel absolutely sure that they are going to be sitting in rocking chairs together one day reminiscing about what a great speech Ruth did at their wedding.

As with any partnership they have a great yin and yang of qualities that will keep them growing together for a very long time:

- Karla likes to make decisions quickly, Simon not so much

- Simon is a talented musician, Kerstin wishes the ground would swallow her up if she is asked to so much as hum a tune

- Simon is gunning to be the next masterchef, Karla’s interest in cooking often involves tinned spaghetti on toast

- Karla loves the Brisbane Lions, Stephen loves Essendon – actually maybe we shouldn’t bring that one up…

As someone who has been married for all of 5 years, I was looking for words of wisdom that I could impart to you on your wedding night and I found a quote, really it’s more for Simon than for Karla, that I thought might be helpful

“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy.  First, let her think she's having her own way.  And second, let her have it.’

But finally, I just wanted to end with a wedding wish for you both.

May you always feel as close as you do this day.

May your lives be graced with good health.

May you always find happiness in your home,

and may it be a refuge from the storms of life.

May your love grow ever stronger as you share

your lives together, and may your future be even

more wonderful than you ever dreamed possible.

I am so happy for the both of you and I would like us all to raise our glasses and toast to a future full of happiness for Karla and Simon

To Karla and Simon

Tony Wilson: 'For the purposes of today, you mainly need to know that I introduced them to Klop', for Charlotte and Hamish - 2014

5 April, 2014, Barwon Heads, Victoria, Australia

Ladies and gentleman it’s my great pleasure to welcome you here to Portrush for the wedding of Hamish Brooks and Charlotte Molesworth.

My name’s  Tony Wilson, I like to think I’m many things to the bride and groom, but for the purposes of today, you mainly need to know that I introduced them to Klop.

What a wonderful occasion.

This place is so special to the bride and groom,Most of you know that they’ve lived here, ghost and Mrs Muir style for nearly four years. Hamish paddling on the Barwon and returning to his beloved every night with a haul of fish. Charlotte polishing the old silver and taking notes from this book I found upstairs ‘Great Hostesses of the mid twentieth century’.

Portrush is a place that is so special to all of us. It became part of the Hay family in 1922, and here we are, nearly a century later, bracing ourselves for the very difficult task of saying goodbye. I remember Mr Hay, Char’s beloved grandpa, who might be an equal contender for the absence that looms largest over today, I remember Mr Hay telling me that when he was a kid, Portrush’s phone number was ‘8’. I said, what do you mean 8, and he said, 8. That was the phone number here. There were a couple of dozen houses  on the barwon heads exchange, and we were number 8.’

It’s been the venue of many historic occasions. Christina, Char’s aunt, tied the knot on this very riverbank 30 odd years ago, on a hot blustery Saturday that tempted partygoers to rip off dresses and suits and plunge into the Barwon. As an avid reader of ‘Great Hostesses of the Mid Twentieth century’ — char will be having none of that ... 

Who am I kidding  ... Char is the most infamous winter swimmer in the room. I doubt that she’ll hold off until 8pm.

As MC, I have a few administrative tasks:

First, phones to silent. Hamish has a very important fantasy football game this weekend, so naturally he is allowed to stare at his phone, but to the rest of you - try to show some discipline.

INTRODUCE SPEAKERS

Caroline Molesworth - mother of the bride

I want to start by welcoming the wonderful mother of the bride, Caroline Molesworth. I’ve noticed that Hamish already calls Caroline by the family nickname of ‘Canny’, which I find surprising because when I asked her if I could, she told me, ‘actually I’d probably prefer Caroline’. This suggests that Caroline already likes Hamish quite a bit more than me, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he gets the nicer David Jones shirt this Christmas. 

When I told my daughter Polly I was MC today, she said, ‘Dad dad, can you tell a knock knock joke?’

And I said, oh, well, I don’t know that many ... and she said, pleeeeease ... and I said .. okay. I’ll try and tell one. So here it goes ...

Knock Knock, who’s there, the bride, the bride who,

No in this case I think it’s ‘the bride whom ... ‘

Please welcome a woman who knows her whos from her whoms, her 6 letter words from her 7s, and who is a wonderful generous hostess, at least worthy of half a page in the new edition of Great Hostess of the Mid 20th century ... Caroline ... or should just say ‘Canny’ Molesworth ...

Ben Hunter - best man

Our first speaker tonight is Ben Hunter ... Ben secured the role of best man after a strong white- anting performance, in which he spread false rumours about other leading candidates while employing a leading PR firm to pump up his own credentials. Not that they needed any pumping up. Ben is an old schoolmate of Hamish’s, and as best mates, they’ve shared a passion for music, art, literature and football. Hamish barracks for Melbourne, and Ben barracks for St Kilda, which is kind of like barracking for the same team - called ‘Heartache and Misery’.

Ben loves Latin America and spent a year living in Buenos Aries, a mad, vibrant city where they don’t even call the cleaning product Jif, ‘Jif’. They call it ‘Cif’.

Please welcome an architect, and a philosopher and a best man, Ben Hunter.

Peter Brooks - father of the groom

I remember, when I first met Peter, I said to him, ‘do you mind if I call you Brooksy’ and he said, ‘yes’. I once thought Hamish was the calmest person I’d ever met. Fly fishing, reading, writing, beard growing, Klop, smiling, philosophising. As a pair of panickers Tamsin and I have always found it extremely reassuring to be near him, just breathing in the zen calm. But recently, I met an even calmer person. He’s into fly fishing, flowers, writing, beard shaving, smiling and philosophising, and, for a living, Mr Miagi style, he catches flies with chopsticks (for his fishing) and paints houses (including ours). He’s now a Tasmanian B & B operator who only returns to the mainland to see his kids and win medals at hte World Masters games. Please welcome a calm man with calm genes ... Peter Brooks.

Hamish Brooks - groom

And now, the groom himself.

It was suggested on the invitation that Hamish took a while to get around to the wonderful business of marrying my sister in law, and to some extent this is true. My own view is that he committed much earlier than was officially recognised. Two years ago this month he was invited to join my fantasy football league, the  CFL, with his suitably mysteriously badged franchise, The Dark Horse. I explained to Hamish that once you join the CFL, you don’t get to leave ... that with all the awkwardness of having to maintain strong relationships with both my sister in law and The Dark Horse, he had to be sure. Hamish took about 90 seconds to decide, and I took this as a marriage proposal which I very nearly passed on to Char. In the end, I didn’t, which gave Hamish another 19 months to get the wording perfectly right, and choose the right Barwon sunrise for the champagne breakfast.

Please welcome the wonderful, handsome, erudite, elegant man of the hour, Hamish Brooks.

Charlotte Molesworth - bride

Char, you are always stylish, always kind  and always vivacious. You have incredible gifts, and have rocketed through your science degree with amazing marks. In fact you’re better at stats than anyone I know, which makes me wonder why we asked Hamish to play dreamteam, and not you.

I’ve now known the bride for nearly half of her life, which is quite scary, and she really is like a sister. Please welcome, the beautiful Charlotte Molesworth.