Russell Brand: 'And the Nazis did have flaws, but they did look fucking fantastic, let’s face it'GQ Men of the Year - 2013

4 September 2013, London, United Kingdom

Fanks! Fanks for this lovely award and accompanying bag. John, that’s really kind of you to be sincere and sweet, particularly in this context. Cause this is not designed for sincerity, this environment, you realize. We will struggle if we bring sincerity into the situation.

Thank you for the Oracle award, which sounds like to me something that’s been recently made up. “Fuck, just ‘Oracle Award’? Will you come?” When I was a kid it was a type of teletext: Oracle and Ceefax, and they were reliable sources of information, so I’m very grateful to be considered in the same vein as that pixelated news source.

Also, glad to grace the stage where Boris Johnson has just made light of the use of chemical weapons in Syria, meaning that GQ can now stand for “Genocide Quips.”

I mentioned that only to make this next comment a bit lighter, because if any of you know a little bit about history and fashion will know that Hugo Boss made the uniforms for the Nazis. And the Nazis did have flaws, but they did look fucking fantastic, let’s face it, while they were killing people on the basis of their religion and sexuality.

Genocide quips are OK. No, it’s OK. [Points at Boris Johnson] It’s already been sanctioned, it’s all cool. The fellow who does our trains says it’s cool.

They literally all do go to school together: Ed Milliband, no fucking difference. Wicked. Might as well vote for one class of really, really rich people. Oh, Rob! Rob, you’re getting paid enough money to take it seriously? Oh fuck. I’m so sorry!

I am actually grateful to get any award, particularly because...I used to just get awards for shagging people and that, from The Sun. And I was extremely grateful for them. As I am for this. Whether it be for the lower hip activity or the more cerebral activity of writing, I’m very grateful to get this thing.

[...]

It’s my job to make jokes about fings. So Hugo Boss, like, it’s fair enough. Like, he might not’ve known. “WE’RE SELLING A LOT OF THESE FUCKING ... THEY’RE FLYING OFF THE SHELVES! We had a lot of clients in the 30s and 40s, I can’t remember all of them.” Did you make a lot of elasticated crotches, Hugo? [Does Nazi goose step] Ring any bells?!

Will Ferrell: 'When I do too much coke I cry', GQ Comedian of the Year Award, 2015

 8 September, 2015, Royal Opera House, London

Thank you, I, ah, I’m ah, I feel, ah, [hits lectern], I feel a little emotional actually, um, partly because of this award,  and, ah, I was afraid my speech would be too slow, ah, because of Samuel’s warning, that I did a little bit of cocaine in the bathroom, and ah, and ah, [inhales] so, [its lectern] and so when I do too much coke I cry, and um, [breaking down] and so I want to thank Dylan, thank you [sobbing]. You’ve been like a father to me [sobs] We’ve had so many good times together, the time we buried that dead body and we said we’d never talk about it [sobs] David Gandy I want to examine you for testicular cancer. You are a dreamboat. You my friend, wow! Wow! I am not going to stop looking at you. Ron Wood, my new best friend Ron Wood [over amped fist pump]. Jose Mourinho ... [Spanish accent] Jose Mourinho .. keep playing defence, man, keep playing seven guys in the box. I love it. I love it. [Deep breaths] My heart’s racing! I don’t want to die tonight, I don’t wanna die! Anyway thank you GQ ... GQ ... [waking off] ... thank you.