He said , "What did I say about cursing?"
I said , "I got you."
He said , "You free to come do this?"
I said , "Yeah, absolutely."
He said , "I'll let you know when we're doing it."
I was like, "Shit, that's fucking great!"
I go and tell everyone.
Mosier goes, "Did you ask about the song for the movie?"
And I was like, "No, fuck, I forgot!"
I was like, "Should I just call him again? Aren't we kind of friends at this point?"
He says, "Find out if we can use the song."
I call him the next day and I was like, "Hey, Prince, it's Kevin. Listen , we talked a lot and I look forward to this thing we're gonna do. . . but we're making Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. . . and it has the dudes who were in Dogma, remember? I need to use 'The Most Beautiful Girl in the World .' I want to put it in this one scene."
And he goes, "No."
I said, "No?"
He said ,"I'm gonna have to pass on that."
He's like, "You can use the Time song ,"which he owns the publishing for.
And I said , "All right. Bye."
You know? I was like, "That's so fucking weird." The dude said , "Come shoot documentary for me." Then I'm like, "Can I have one of your songs?" He's like, "No."
I thought people gave each other things.
But I don't say anything because it's Prince. So it's time to go up there and I'm in the midst of editing the movie. . . we're getting to crunch time. Many things are going on . . . the last thing in the world I should do is go to Minnesota.
But I'm like, "Fuck it. Once in a lifetime chance. It's fucking Prince, I gotta go." I grab the wife. . . jump on the plane. We go to Minnesota. I get out there. . . and I meet with his producer, this great woman named Stephanie.
And Stephanie's like, "He's on-stage talking to a bunch of people. He'll tell you what he wants."
I go in and he's sitting on the stage and he's very small. He looks big on-stage, but he's very small. But he's decked out. He's wearing clothes that look like somebody just sewed them.
Like an outfit, like he's in a play, doing Shakespeare.
Not like nice clothes like this.
And he's in heels, of course.
I'm like, "He's in heels. It's casual time and he's in heels."
I always thought, around the house, he's wearing kicks.
So we start talking . He tells me about his beefs with the music industry. And you can't follow him, he's jumping topic to topic. And I'm like, "Uh-huh. I don't know what he's saying. What?"
And he's talking, at one point, "Anybody can take a song and record it."
I was like, "Really?" He's like, "It happened to Chaka Khan."
He's like, "Whitney Houston recorded, 'I'm Every Woman.'
Chaka didn't want that, Chaka mad.
"I'm like, "Chaka mad?"
He's like, "Chaka real mad."
I'm trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do about Chaka being mad.
He's like, "I want you to shoot people's reaction to the album. Let them listen to it and you have them talk about it. And then I want to talk about religion and lead that into race. . . and lead it into the music biz and radio. At the end of the week, I want to change the world ."
I'm like, "I'm in the middle of making a dick-and-fart-joke movie. I'm not prepared to change my underwear, let alone the world . I don't think I can-- I don't--I don't-- All right."
He's like, "All right, I'll see you tomorrow." And he takes off.
I look at Stephanie, I was like, "Can we go outside?"
I was like, "I can't do this! I don't know what he wants! I can't change the world .I'm not a documentarian. Did you see the movies I make? I don't make documentaries. Documentaries are made by people who come up with the idea. . . and see it through, shoot it themselves and interview people. . . because it's something personal to them. He's very personal and passionate about these issues. I'm not. Chaka mad. I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do about that."
She's like, "Calm down ."And she's like, "What can you do?"
I said, "If Prince wants a movie about. . . a couple guys hanging around a mall . . . like, I'm your guy, but I can't make a documentary."
She's like, "But he really wants you to do it."
And I was like, "I don't understand. I'm not cut out for this kind of thing. Can you explain it to him? Just go in there and tell him. I'll go back to Los Angeles and tell him no harm, no foul ."
She's like, "Kevin , let me explain something to you about Prince. I've been working with Prince for many years and I can't go tell him that you can't shoot this documentary." She's like, "Prince doesn't comprehend things the way you and I do."
I was like, "What do you mean?" She was like, "Well . . . Prince has been living in Prince World for quite some time now." She's like, "So Prince will come to us periodically and say things like:
'It's 3 in the morning in Minnesota. I really need a camel. Go get it.'
And then we try to explain to Prince, like: 'Prince, it's 3:00 in the morning in Minnesota, it's January ...and you want a camel? That is not physically or psychologically possible.'
And Prince says, 'Why?"'
I'm like, "Is he an asshole?"
She's like, "He's not malicious when he does it. He just doesn't understand why he can't get what he wants. He doesn't understand why someone can't process a request. . . like a camel at 3 in the morning in Minnesota."
I was like, "That's not my problem. I can't do what he wants. I don't know what to do."
She said, "You'd be doing me a huge favor if you tell him that."
I was like, "All right, I'll tell him. Somebody's got to deal with him. He'll understand."
So I go in there and he's on-stage and then he comes back down. He's like, "What's the matter?"
I was like, "How do you want to shoot this?"
He's like, "Whatever you want."
I said , "I don't know if I can shoot this thing. Since it's a documentary, it should come from you.
I'd be kind of a third wheel. It's, like, you've got the crew and you have the idea. . . and I'd basically be there, what, to do what? There's nothing for me to do."
He said, "I need you to be my representation. You have to go and communicate my message."
I said, "If you want me to communicate 'Let's Go Crazy.' Let's get nuts. Like, let's slip on a purple banana . . .till they put us in the truck. I can do that. I've listened to that album. If you want me to start talking about Jesus, I did that. I got a lot of death threats. So I'm not too keen to go in there and do it."
He's like, "You'll do a great job." Walks away.
I'm like, "Oh , my God . I don't know how to make a fucking documentary."
So I go in the next day, and we're shooting in the atrium. Everybody sits down and shit.
They're listening to albums in other rooms in Paisley Park. They bring them into the atrium . . .
with the high ceilings, and there's a cage with doves in it. You're sitting there listening to what it sounds like when fucking doves cry.
'Cause they won't shut up. People are coming in, and I'm standing there . . . with two guys with cameras and their Nagra equipment. And I'd say about 20% of them, as they walk in, are like:
"It's Silent Bob."
I was the last person they expected to see. Like, "What the fuck is Silent Bob doing here? Is he a fan? What's with the cameras? What's going on?"
I'm like, "I don't even know what's going on !" So I'm like, "We'll talk about what you've just heard."
I don't introduce myself.
I said , "We'll talk about what you just listened to and see where the topic takes us."
We start talking. Everybody wants to talk about religion, the album's theme. It's kind of one story throughout the whole album. Heavily steeped in faith and spirituality. So people start getting up in arms. Some people said , "It's his best work. It's the promise he showed on Lovesexy. It's the next level for Prince. I love all the three to four minute hits, but this is tremendous."
Other people were going ,"We know Prince is a Jehovah's Witness."
I'm sitting there going,"Prince is a Jehovah's Witness? Since when? Now? Because he didn't try to sell me a Watchtower once."
So he's going ,"I printed up a bunch of facts. . . about Jehovah's Witness that Prince should read. It's important stuff. He should know that he's being bilked."
I'm like, "What else is everyone thinking?"
I'm trying to lead the discussion , but everyone wants to talk about religion. Some are incensed because it's a literal translation of the Bible . . . which means that the order of things is God, man, women, children, animals. Some women were like, "I don't go in for this man, woman shit.
I don't want to be led by any man ."
I'm trying to control the fires. Somebody comes up behind me and says. . . whispers in my ear, "Prince wants you to stop talking about religion."
I'm like, "What do you mean Prince wants me to stop talking about religion?
That's what they want. Where is he?" They're like, "He's not here."
I said , "How does he know I'm talking about religion?"
She's like, "He'd just--He'd prefer if you stop. He knows."
I said , "How am I supposed to change topic?
Be like, 'Hey, who likes pie?' you know, instead of--
They listened to an album about religion. What can I tell you? If he wants it to not be about-- If he wants it to be something else, he should get his ass here."
She said , "I just told you."
So people are talking , I'm looking around while they're speaking .
There's a sign in the atrium that says: "The atrium : redone in 1 9. . . ." Then there's a piece of factoid about the atrium that says: "Like every room in the building, this room is wired for sound so Prince can record anywhere he likes."
Which means that if Prince is sitting in the shitter and he wants to write "Raspberry Beret" . . .
he can do it and record it while taking a shit without leaving the room.
Every room is wired for sound .
I'm reading that going ,"Now, that's interesting--" No wonder the motherfucker heard me. Every room is wired for sound .
I'm like, "God, did he hear me say' He should get his ass here'?" He might have, because I'm talking to the person talking and I see Prince materialize. Not out of thin air, but suddenly, he's there.
I'm like, "Holy shit, he's coming to yell at me in front of these people."
So I made him part of it."What do you think?"
If you know Prince, he's solitary. He likes to stay apart from people. But he starts joining in, gets real into it. And I start hanging back. I go in the back and watch it. So I'm appreciating Prince talking to these people about spirituality and then about how radio sucks nowadays. Nobody owns the air over his head so why can't they play shit he wants?
He's going everywhere. And I'm like, "This is brilliant. I'd watch this. I'd watch this documentary about how a man falls apart in front of a crowd."
But I don't think that's the documentary he has in mind .
The next day, same thing .We're talking and he shows up. I bring him in. He takes over. He's in his element. He's happy. He's just sitting there, a robe short of being a minister, preaching , playing games with the crowd. Games where people go to the other side of the room like kindergarten.
He says, "Those who believe Jesus is the son of God over to this side of the room. Those who don't, go over there. We rule our lives by this." He pulls a Bible from his back pocket.
I'm like, "I didn't even know he had a back pocket."
The outfits he wears don't really lend to pockets. But not only that, he's got a Bible in it.
I'm like, "This is fucked up."
He says, "We'll lead our lives by this. Over there, you live by what you do. You have no laws. We have laws. We want your women. So we'll take them . There's nothing you can do. Women, come here. Because you don't lead your lives by this."
I'm going, "Is that what it says in the Bible?" Because if it is, I'm going back to church.
He's going through these parlor games and he's real happy. I was pleased to get to see a part of him that I'd never seen before in everything from interviews to any press.
So the next day, he's like, "I'm not gonna be able to do it.
I've got a show to do at the St. Paul Excel Arena. I'm gonna do a night show and my leg hurts, so I won't do the q and a."
I said, "Why does your leg hurt?"
He said, "Something with my knee."
And I was like, "Do you think it's because you always wear heels?"
He said , "What?"
I said , "Maybe your knee wouldn't hurt if you wore sneakers."
He goes, "It's not about sneakers."
I said , "All right, man , I was just checking . We need you, Prince."
I go out and Stephanie said ,"You mentioned sneakers to him?"
I said , "Yeah , was that bad?" She said , "Yeah!"
I said , "Does he wear them?"
She said , "He does. What's the interest with Prince's sneakers?"
I said , "Does he wear them?"
She said , "He wears them for basketball."
I said , "He plays ball in sneakers? Where does he keep them?"
She's like, "Let it go."
I said, "Does he wear the outfits playing basketball?"
Because every outfit looks like he's about to be: "Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio." You know?
She said , "No, he wears warm-up suits."
I said , "He's got warm-up suits?"
She says, "Yes, he's got warm-up pants with the buttons down the side."
I was like, "Where does he keep it? Does he wear it under his clothes?"
She says, "He's got them to the side."
I said , "Well , are they made like his outfits? Designer basketball wear?"
She says, "No, they're from a store."
I said , "He shops at a fucking store?"
She says, "No, we go out and get stuff for him."
I said , "Where do you get his clothes?"
She says, "Nordstrom's."
I said , "They sell stuff his size?"
She's like, "Nordstrom's boys department."
And at this point, I'm like, "That is so fucking cute!"
The documentary should be about that. I'd watch it.
Prince is like, "All right, I'm little. I'm a huge rock god, but I'm little. I get my clothes at Nordstrom's boys department."
But that's not the documentary he wants to make.
So he skips that day.
The next day he's supposed to come. We're having one of the last sessions. We crammed 75 people in this room. It's really hot, really tight, lights boiling. Everyone's sweating.
We're going on for about three hours.
One guy says, "This album's about how Prince hates white people."
I said , "Really? I didn't get that at all. What makes you say that?"
He says, "He's singing about how the devil stole it."
I said , "No, he's not talking about the 'white devil ,' but this devil. I don't think it's a race thing. Really? Race? Do you think so?" And I can't defend it because I don't fucking know.
Finally, they're like, "Prince wants to talk to you in his office."
I'm like, "Break, everyone grab some air. I'll talk to Prince."
I'm pissed now. I'm sweating, fielding questions from a very defensive crowd. The dude was supposed to be here hours ago. So I go into his office.and he's sitting behind his desk playing with a computer. I sit there for a good 20 to 30 seconds.
He says nothing .
Then he says, "These are pictures from the show last night."
I said , "That's great. We needed you about two hours ago. Things got tense."
He says, "Really?"
"Some dude said you hate white people."
He said , "Why did he say that?"
I said , "In the album , you talk about how the devil stole the music. He said you meant the 'white devil. 'I said you meant this."
He said, "He said white people stole music from black people?"
I said , "That was his argument." He goes, "If the bra fits."
And I'm like, "What the fuck does that mean , man?! If the bra fucking fits? I'm sweating for hours fielding questions, defending your Jehovah's Witnessism even though I know nothing about it. Don't talk to me like I'm fucking Apollonia! You want me to jump into the fucking waters of Lake Minnetonka! I'm fucking at wit's end with this man .
This is what it sounds like when Kev's fucking pissed. You know? I'm like, "Go explain that's not what you meant."
He's like, "People are gonna take what they will from it."
I said , "These people have been here for hours. They expect you ."
He's like, "I'll talk to them. You want to shoot it?"
I said , "Okay, and I want to leave early because today is Father's Day." My wife was there all week. Her parents brought Harley so we could spend Father's Day together.
He said , "Okay."
I'm like, "Ladies and gentlemen: Prince."
He sits down , starts talking and we start shooting. And he starts talking and proceeds to talk for four hours. He's getting into his parlor games and having a great time. The guys are like, "Are we still shooting?"
I'm like, "Keep shooting .Something might happen. Maybe somebody will get as pissed as I am and take the guy out."
After the four hours one of the guy comes over to me.
He's like, "We're out."