30 April 2015, Sydney, Australia
I would like to begin by lighting a candle in Daniel’s honour. Our family decided to have the Memorial event tonight. It was a toss between 29th or 30th April. Somehow, the 30th April was chosen. Recently, I opened a letter from the Great Synagogue informing us that Daniel’s Yahrzeit falls on 12 Iyar, which this year commences on the evening of Thursday 30th April 2015. His Hebrew Memorial day coincides with this event. You will come to learn that I don’t believe in coincidences. Rather divine intervention. We light a candle with the intent for individuals to take time to remember, honour and celebrate the life of a loved one. It is said that the spirit of the person fills the room for 24 hours. This flickering flame is symbolic of Daniel’s eternal light. As beautifully expressed by Shaw “Life is a splendid torch which I’ve got hold of for a brief moment and I want it to burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to a future generation.”
Grief, suffering and the loss of Daniel has left a hole in my heart. The grief ebbs and flows each day, each week and throughout the year. The pauses between these feelings fluctuate but his loss to suicide is difficult to come to terms with. I will never understand why and I have come to understand that I need to let go of trying to make sense of suicide. The whys, what ifs arrest the healing process. Rather, I live in hope that one day I will to come understand the blessings of a broken heart.
The healing process has been a journey and I feel grateful to friends, family and Ashurst for giving our family an opportunity to acknowledge and celebrate the short, but colourful life of Daniel.
I will give you reflections of his life on behalf of my beautiful and loving family: David, Michele, Bruce, Rebecca and Gregor. I will also extend the appreciation, love and friendship to Daniel’s extended family and friends. You were all special to him and filled his days with joy. Life is at times colourless without the presence of Daniel. Somehow we need to look for the colour despite his absence. That is the challenge of our grief. Back to Daniel’s colour ….He was the story -teller. His imagination, command of language and timing were faultless. You knew you were in for a treat, as he told his story or you were swept along with his drama. He often started his conversations with…’actually or do you know?’ His arresting, blue eyes would sparkle even more and one had to steel themselves for the vivid, colourful and often challenging debate to follow.
I know we all miss him and that sadness and emptiness is a companion at times but aren’t we all fortunate that he was part of our lives even for such a short time. The memories and stories live on.
My story or journey begins…as I was sitting in a café reminiscing about Daniel.
Daniel loved eating out at restaurants…. The ceremony of the outing filled him with anticipation of a delicious meal and companionship. Delicious was one of his favourite words, or quirkier still ‘deliciousness’. Only Daniel could get away with this transgression. I began to pen my recollections as I sat in a trendy Eastern suburbs café. I was reading ‘A Private Life’ by Michael Kirby, a book I found so engaging and meaningful. You could say, I was surrounded by Daniel as his favourite album was playing in the background. ‘Dreams’ by The Cranberries was pulsing through my veins. Daniel’s presence was palpable. I delved into the book and the words discussed in our meetings with Michael Kirby came to life and echoed the background music. Personal courage and enlightenment came to foreground. Justus Kirby you have triumphed in your journey and enlightened many, many people on a personal and professional level, especially David and I. I feel as though Daniel has been tapping me on the shoulder, guiding me on my journey and opening me eyes as I learn to understand and come to terms with my grief. As I have said before don’t believe in coincidences. Somehow David and I were lucky enough to meet and have meaningful discussions with you, Michael in your offices. It was a privilege and Daniel is looking on smiling. I could just imagine the banter, that could have of unfolded between the two of you in your office, but sadly this did not come to be. Even though, Daniel lost his life to suicide, I feel that the words Personal Courage and Enlightenment are true for him too. Daniel was loved and admired by so many. He was a fine young man, exuding tremendous personal qualities. Daniel was a wonderful son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin, friend and mentor. He had personal courage and the spark of enlightenment. Despite his junior position as a lawyer he stood his ground and would advise and guide senior colleagues on difficult points of law. Somehow, he could see beyond the ordinary. These powerful attributes of Personal Courage and Enlightenment must live on in Daniel’s honour. Learning, education and the love of law were Daniel’s passion. He thrived at UNSW and met a new set of friends. He loved them as people but also he loved studying and debating contentious issues of law during tutorials. So once again Daniel is tapping my shoulder, rather strongly, watching over me and guiding our decision process for his Memorial Scholarship. It took some time but here we are. We feel we are on the path now. Pay it forward shine the light, pass on the legacy of living, loving and respecting the law. So the scholarship has been created and with generous donations from tonight it will hopefully have a ‘long life’. Our dream is that it will become endowed. Jordana Wong, the Development Manager from UNSW Law has been simply amazing. I am so pleased you are here tonight assisting our guests. Finally, we can fulfill the dream to have a Memorial Scholarship that Daniel would endorse.
Reflecting back to his younger and formative years Daniel was bewitched by the character of Dorothy as she followed her adventures in the Land of Oz. Daniel followed his own enchanting road in Oz land. Life was full of colour, friends and adventures. We were mesmerized by Daniel’s passion and enthusiasm and travelled along his magical pathway. At the end of the journey, the heroine and hero discover all one seeks was inside all along. So home for Daniel is within our heart now and always. The memories, the stories are embedded within and give comfort during times of sadness.
Daniel has left many legacies. Yes he was a writer, an academic, a passionate learner a learned and sensitive man. He penned only a few reminders of his talents- shorts stories, journal articles and a Chapter in Australian Corporate Finance. But for me his overwhelming legacy is that his work was not yet completed. Our family has taken the challenge to awaken his light and shine this on others. Despite overwhelming grief and sadness we wanted to remember and honour Daniel in a fitting way. So the concept of a dinner was mooted and here we are tonight remembering a fine young man. Once again Daniel’s presence is palpable. I have come to understand his love of Ashurst. I have met and been assisted by his generous colleagues. I have walked Daniel’s steps as I take the Rose Bay ferry to Circular Quay and enter Grosvenor Place. I travel up the same lifts he did to the reception level for all my meetings. You are all sitting here tonight in the Boardrooms of Ashurt, a place Daniel knew well. It is hard to take these steps, but who doesn’t do hard for someone they love and cherish. Oscar Wilde, one of Daniel’s favourite authors wrote… “Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. So back to Daniel, tapping my shoulder, guiding me forward. I met and worked closely with the professional team at Ashurst. I know they represent the other Ashurst colleagues that knew and respected Daniel. Emanuel Poulos you are the rock who believed in Daniel and this function. You were his voice and mine. You introduced me to the team: Kate Cato, Tahnya Seifman and Remonda Sukkar. I feel so connected to you and feel blessed that I had the opportunity to work with such caring and conscientious individuals. We worked together to create this event. You have helped make this the best ‘Daniel’ event. A heartfelt Thank You!
You are the ambassadors for Ashurst. On behalf of my family and friends I thank Ashurst sincerely for being the gracious host for this evening and event. Your generosity is received with gratitude.
I would like to acknowledge the unwavering love and devotion of my family, immediate and extended. We have cried together, comforted each other, reminisced and laughed together. My friends are also my family. I could not have travelled this road without you. We share a bond that has stood the test of time. Finally, Daniel’s friends are now part of our lives. Together we can live in hope and use this challenge of loss to find our inner strength. Let his story and legacy continue.
Finally, our family wish to acknowledge the generous donations for the auction and raffle tonight. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Thank you to family, friends, colleagues for joining us here tonight to honour and remember Daniel. Your presence tonight has made this Memorial Scholarship Dinner launch truly memorable.
Mark Lipson, my dear nephew has worked tirelessly on this beautiful snap shot DVD of Daniel. How can one sum up such a unique, amazing young man!! A challenge for all of us!! Mark you are the true professional, your focus was to do the best by Daniel and you did!! You held my hand compassionately, listened to my tears and tried to hug them away.
Daniel, we miss you deeply, you are irreplaceable. We pray that your dear soul rests eternally in peace. I will conclude with a quote from Einstein as it sums up Daniel, “The pursuit of knowledge for its own sake, an almost fanatical love of justice… these are the features of the tradition which makes me thank my lucky stars that I belonged to it.”