9 June 2020, Washington DC, USA
Hey everybody. It is an honor to be here with you to help celebrate this amazing milestone in your lives. Graduation from college or high school is a culmination of years of hard work. So please enjoy this moment. You deserve this celebration. Congratulations. This is an important time of transition in light of the current state of our country. I struggled to find the right words of wisdom for you today. So I am here today to talk to you, not as the former first lady, but as a real life person, a mother, a mentor, a citizen concerned about your future and the future of our country. Because right now, all that superficial stuff of titles and positions, all of that has been stripped away.
A lot of us are reckoning with the most basic essence of who we are. Over these past couple of months, our foundation has been shaken, not just by a pandemic that stole too many of our loved ones, up ended our daily lives and sent tens of millions into unemployment. But also by the rumbling of the age old fault lines that our country was built on the lines of race and power that are now once again. So nakedly exposed for all of us to grapple with.
So if any of you are scared or confused or angry or just plain overwhelmed by it all, if you feel you’re searching for lifeline just to steady yourself, you are not alone. I am feeling all of that too. I think we all are. So I want you to know that it’s okay to be confused. It’s okay if you don’t understand exactly what you’re feeling, we’re all sorting through this in real time. But here’s the thing, while this period is certainly unprecedented, it is not a complete anomaly, simply some random coincidence to be dismissed. Now what’s happening right now is the direct result of decades of unaddressed, prejudice, and inequality. The truth is when it comes to all those tiny stories of hard work and self determination that we’d like to tell ourselves about America.
Well, the reality is a lot more complicated than that because for too many people in this country, no matter how hard they work, there are structural barriers working against them that just make the road longer and rockier. And sometimes it’s almost impossible to move upward at all, because if you’re required to work during a pandemic, but don’t have enough protective equipment or health insurance from your employer or paid sick leave, what is more essential, your work or your life. If you don’t feel safe driving your own car in your own neighborhood or going for a jog or buying some candy at 7-eleven or bird watching. If you can’t even approach the police without fearing for your life. Well, then how do you begin to chart your own course?
And as so often as the case, these questions compound upon themselves, see if you’re struggling already just to keep your head above water. If you’re living in a constant state of fear, how much farther behind will you be after months in quarantine and without a job. These are uncomfortable questions, questions that have dogged this country for generations, but are now staring us in the face. Every time we look at our phones or hear helicopters circling our neighborhoods. The tough part is nobody has all the answers. If my generation did trust me, we’d have fixed the whole of this long time ago, but that doesn’t mean we should feel hopeless. Just the opposite, because what we finally do have is focus. We see what’s happening in stark relief. We see how these inequalities are playing out on our streets, and it’s not just the communities most affected by these challenges that see it now.
It’s folks all across the country who for too long have had the luxury and privilege of looking away. We all have no choice, but to see what has been staring us in the face for years, for centuries. So the question is, how will we respond? Like I said before, I don’t have any easy answers for you, but I do have some lessons I want to share about how to move forward in these tumultuous times. The first is this life will always be uncertain. It is a lesson that most of us get the chance to learn over the course of years and years, even decades, but one that you’re learning right now. This is a time in your life when it feels like everything is turned upside down and perhaps you’re wishing that things could just go back to the way they were. Look, I’ve been there many times in my life.
I felt it most profoundly when my father and my best friend died within a year of each other. I was in my late 20s. Oh and it felt like my whole world was collapsing in on itself. I would have given anything, anything to bring them back. But that experience gave me a kind of clarity with everything and pieces around me, I had to forge a new path. A path, fortunately, more focused on meaning and service. So graduates, I hope that what you’re going through right now can be your wake up call that it pushes you, not just to think about what kind of career you want to build. What kind of person do you want to be? Here’s the thing, you have the opportunity to learn these valuable lessons faster than the generations before you. You can learn them together as a cohort of young people ready to take on the world, no matter how tumultuous it may be.
That leads me to my second lesson, in an uncertain world time tested values like honesty and integrity, empathy and compassion. That’s the only real currency in life. Treating people right will never ever fail you. Now, I’m not naive. I know that you can climb a long way up the ladder selling falsehoods and blaming others for your own shortcomings, shunning those with less privilege and advantage. But that is a heavy way to live. It deadens your spirit and it hardens your heart may seem like a winning strategy in the short run. But trust me, graduates that kind of life catches up to you. You rob yourself of the things that matter most. Deep and loving connections with others, honest work that leads to lasting contributions to your community. The vibrancy that comes from a diversity of ideas and perspectives, the chance to leave this world a little better than you found it.
Don’t deprive yourselves of all that. There is no substitute for it. Instead, make a decision to use your privilege and your voice for the things that really matter, which is my third lesson today, to share that voice with the rest of the world. For those of you who feel invisible, please know that your story matters, your ideas matter, your experiences matter, your vision for what our world can and should be matters. So don’t ever, ever let anyone tell you that you’re too angry or that you should keep your mouth shut. There will always be those who want to keep you silent. To have you be seen, but not heard. Maybe they don’t even want to see you at all, but those people don’t know your story. If you listen to them, then nothing will ever change. So it’s up to you to speak up when you or someone, you know isn’t being heard, it’s up to you to speak out against cruelty, dishonesty, bigotry, all of it. It’s up to you to march hand in hand with your allies to stand peacefully with dignity and purpose on the front lines, in the fight for justice.
Here’s the last part. It’s up to you to couple every protest with plans and policies, with organizing and mobilizing and voting and that’s my final piece of advice. Graduates, anger is a powerful force. It can be a useful force, but left on its own it will only corrode and destroy and sow chaos on the inside and out. But when anger is focused, when it’s channeled into something more, oh, that is the stuff that changes history. Dr. King was angry. Sojourner Truth was angry. Lucretia Mott, Cesar Chavez, the folks at Stonewall, they were all angry, but those folks were also driven by compassion, by principle, by hope.
So they took advantage of whatever resources they had in their own time, thundering from the pulpit and the convention floor, penning letters from a jail cell, standing up for their rights in the face of police violence. They built coalitions with folks like them and different from them. They got fluent in the language of power. They sat down with leaders they disagreed with because they knew that if they wanted their vision to be made real, it needed to be made law. It needed to be voiced, not just on the streets, but in the halls of power. It needed to be carried, not just by the housekeeper and the shift worker, but by the senator and the congresswoman and yes the President of the United States.
So graduates, it is your time now and look, our democracy isn’t perfect. But I have traveled the world and seeing the governments and people in so many other countries. I can tell you that our democracy is sturdy and yes, it still works, but it doesn’t work if you silence yourselves. It does not work if you disengage from the process. We’re seeing the consequences of that right now. But if you hold strong with the same faith that carried all of those giants before you toward real measurable progress, you will change the course of history. So what does that mean for your time? It starts where change always starts in your own home, in your own social circles, in your own neighborhoods, at your own dinner tables. Sometimes it’s easy to stand with strangers that are protests than it is to challenge someone in your own backyard.
So if you hear people expressing bigoted views or talking down to those people, it is up to you to call them out because we won’t solve anything. If we’re only willing to do what’s easiest, we’ve got to make hard choices and sacrifices in our own lives. So if you’re spending a lot of time, just hashtaging and posting right now that’s useful, especially during a pandemic, but it’s only a beginning. Go further, send all your friends a link to register to vote, text everybody you know to join you in exercising, their constitutional right to protest. Ask yourself, do you know where your polling place is? Do you know when your primary elections are held? Do you know how to request a mail in ballot? Who are the incumbents and the candidates at every level of government, not just president, but state representative, city council, prosecutors, sheriff.
And don’t just ask yourselves these questions. Ask your friends, your family, ask everyone you see in your neighborhood. And while we’re reaching out, please let’s give everyone who’s working toward progress space to be themselves. Everybody has got to vote when the time comes, but the activism that leads up to that day comes in many forms. Some want to march right up in front, others prefer to stay back, some kneel in the pews, others on the street corner, some canvas their neighborhoods, others run for office. Some do an honest day’s work and raise good kids. Others choose to focus on their education and use that degree to address these issues and build a better life for themselves and those around them. Graduates, it’s all important and we need every bit of it. So we cannot allow our hurt and our frustration to turn us against each other, to cancel somebody else’s point of view. If we don’t agree with every last bit of their approach.
That kind of thinking only divides us and distracts us from our higher calling, it is the gum in the wheel of progress. Graduates this is how you can finish the work that the generations before you have started, by staying open and hopeful, even in the tough times. By channeling that discomfort you feel into activism and a democracy that was designed to respond to those who vote. Here’s the thing, I know you can do it because over these many years, I’ve seen exactly who you are. I’ve seen your creativity and your talent and your resourcefulness. I’ve seen you speaking out in gun violence and fight climate change. I’ve seen you gathering donations for those in need during this pandemic.
I’ve seen you marching with peace and with purpose and that is why even in tough times like these, you continue to be what gives me hope. Graduates, you all are exactly what we need right now and for the years and decades to come, you’re learning so much so quickly. I know that not only can you do better than those who came before you, you will. So it’s your time. I love you all. I believe in you all. I want you to be safe and I can’t wait to see you take the reins. Congratulations again on your graduation. God bless you.
Michelle Obama: ' You have to push yourselves. That's the only thing', Elizabeth Garrett Language College - 2011
25 May 2011, Christ Church, Oxford University, Oxford, United Kingdom
This was not a graduation or commencment speech. The Elizabeth Garrett students were having an 'university immersion experience' at Oxford University.
Well, hello. How are you all doing? Good to see you.
Well, good afternoon, everyone. I am beyond thrilled to be back in the United Kingdom and to be here with all of you at Oxford University.
I want to thank Professor Hamilton, the Vice Chancellor of this university, for that very kind introduction and for hosting us all here today.
And thanks to Professor Hamilton and to the Dean of Christ Church College, The Very Reverend Christopher Lewis also, for hosting us throughout today.
I also want to recognize Jo Dibb. Jo, who has just been so terrific, is such a wonderful example that we just get to (inaudible). She’s the Head of School at the Elizabeth Garrett Anderson -- we’re losing a mic -- for her leadership -- does that work better -- for her leadership and for joining us here today.
And I want to thank the Oxford students, as well, who’ve served as mentors today. Thank you for your time, thank you for making all of us feel so welcome, for looking after these beautiful young women. And thank you for your hard work and effort.
But most of all, I want to recognize these brilliant young women from the Elizabeth Garrett Anderson School. My visit to your school two years ago -- and some of you weren’t there when I came, correct -- that was my first solo international event as First Lady. Truly, that was the first time I went off all by myself as First Lady. And from the minute that I walked into the door of your school, I knew I had come to a very special place.
It was clear to me that you all were so very special. I was blown away by your talent. You all put on a performance for me at the drop of a hat, and I understand you didn’t even really know I was coming. But you put on such a performance. And I was also impressed with your achievements. I was inspired by your passion and your energy. And I felt this strong sense of connection with all of you because in your stories I saw so much of my own story.
So I knew that the next time I came to the United Kingdom, I wanted to visit with all of the students again. And I knew that I wanted to visit with all of you in a place like this. Look around. I mean, just look at this, a renowned university that has trained so many of the world’s brightest minds and greatest leaders.
And I’m not the only one who’s excited to see you all here today. Students and faculty at this university were eager to visit with you all, as well.
And there’s a reason for that. It’s because all of us -- and it’s important for you to know that -- all of us believe that you belong here; that this is a place for you, as well. We passionately believe that you have the talent within you, you have the drive, you have the experience to succeed here at Oxford and at universities just like it across the country and across the world, because you attend a school that has been labeled “outstanding,” a school that’s preparing you for whatever course of study that you might choose.
I know that you spend each day with girls from many different countries, who speak 59 different languages in your school. So you’re already learning how to fit into a university like Oxford, which has students from more than 140 different countries.
And finally, by overcoming challenges in your lives –- by adjusting to a new culture, and learning a new language, many of you enduring hardships in your own families -– through those experiences, you have gained strength, courage and maturity that is far beyond your years.
And those qualities will help you succeed in school and in life. So in other words, all of us who brought you here today don’t just think that universities have a lot to offer you. We believe that you all have a lot to offer these universities –- your talent, your passion, your unique life experiences. And we very much want you to believe that’s true, as well.
And I know that from my own experience, that can be hard sometimes. And I remember back when I was your age, trying to decide which schools that I would apply to. And I remember how well meaning but misguided people sometimes questioned whether someone with my background could succeed at an elite university.
And when I was accepted at one of those universities, I had all kinds of worries and fears and doubts before I entered. I worried that I wouldn’t be as well prepared as students who had come from more privileged families. I worried that I wouldn’t fit in somewhere so different from where I’d grown up, or with people whose backgrounds were so different from mine.
But after a few months in college, away from home on my own, I realized that I was just as capable and I had just as much to offer any of my classmates. I realized that if I worked hard enough, I could do just as well as anyone else. I realized that success is not about the background you’re from. It’s about the confidence that you have and the effort you’re willing to invest.
Clarissa here knows that, as well. She’s one of our mentors here today. Where’s Clarissa? There she is. And she’s also a graduate of the Elizabeth Garrett Anderson School. And she’s going to be sharing a story in a minute, but I want to give you a little preview, because I worry that she’ll be too modest to tell you about all her achievements.
Clarissa, I understand, was a star student at Elizabeth Garrett Anderson with outstanding test scores, and she’s now Reading English Language and Literature here at Oxford. She also somehow finds time here to be an award-winning poet. She serves as President of the Oxford Poetry Society. And she’s one of only seven young editors currently working for a major international publishing company.
So if any of you ever start to doubt yourselves, I want you to remember Clarissa’s story, if mine somehow doesn’t resonate. I want you to remember that she started out just like all of you.
And I want you to know that you have everything you need to succeed at a place like this. You just have to work hard. That's it. You have to push yourselves. That's the only thing. This does not come easy for anyone. Everyone here, regardless of their background, got here because they worked hard. And you stay here because you work hard. But more importantly, you have to believe in yourself. You have to mentally believe that you can be here. You have to paint that picture for yourself.
And most of all, when you eventually get to a place like Oxford, I want every last one of you to reach back and to help others get here, too.
That's one of the reasons why I’m here, reaching back, even as First Lady of the United States, making sure that other young girls get the same opportunities that I have. Maybe that means mentoring or tutoring young people in your community. Or maybe it means keeping in touch with students at Elizabeth Garrett Anderson and helping them with their university applications, because many kids don't have the experience to even apply.
And the one thing is that you don’t have to wait until you’ve made it yourself. You don't have to wait until you’re big time. You can start the minute that you get back to school, because for every one of you here, there's someone else from your school who could be here, who won’t have this opportunity. So I want you to tell your classmates about the people that you met here today, about the classes you attended here. And I want you to get them all inspired and excited about what you’ve seen here today. You all have so much to offer. You have to believe that. And I look forward to seeing all of you fulfill whatever dreams you have, and I know they’re big. So I want to see you all in the future, visiting me somewhere around the world, doing great things.
So with that, I’m eager to hear from you all about what you saw and learned today. And then we can talk and talk and talk until they yank me out of here. So with that, I’m going to turn it over to Jo Dibb, who’s going to take us through. So congratulations, you all. We’re very proud. (Applause.)
(Clarissa Pabi and Silan Fidan share their stories.)
MS. DIBB: Thank you, Silan. Do you have your question handy?
Q Yes.
MS. DIBB: Do you have your question handy?
Q Yes.
MS. DIBB: Would you like to ask your question while everybody else is looking for theirs?
Q Okay. We waited too many years for the first black President. Considering how far women have come, how long do you think it will be -- take before we have the first female President?
MRS. OBAMA: Excellent question. I think we’re there. I think that the United States, I think many countries around the world are ready. So now the challenge is our preparation as women and our desire and willingness to step up and grab that ring, because we’re at a time when so many people just want good leadership. They want people, number one, who have good character, who are open, who are -- especially young people, because you all see the world in such broader terms, particularly students at Oxford, students who get to travel and experience the world. Their limits just continue to expand.
So our job as women is to envision ourselves as leaders, and then to prepare and be ready for a good fight and a good battle, because one thing about our success is that no one feels sorry, is going to take it easy on us, right?
Hillary Clinton is a fabulous leader. My husband had a formidable opponent in her in the primaries. She is a phenomenal Secretary of State. We have examples of outstanding women like her in leadership all over the world.
So it’s completely there. The question is, are we ready? Are we, as young women, are we ready to take that responsibility on and go after it and take the risk that go with stepping out there and being judged? And I think sometimes as women we can step back, but we can start pushing ourselves now, so --
Q Thank you.
MS. DIBB: You have the next question from Kristina.
Q Yeah, my name is Kristina, and I’m 13 years old, and I’m from London. And my question is, how is it different in raising your children now in the White House than before?
MRS. OBAMA: Oh, that's a good question. A lot more cameras. (Laughter.)
You know, my philosophy about mothering and how I feel about being a mother hasn’t changed. That doesn’t change with the house you live in and the job that you have.
And truly I call myself Mom-in-Chief. It’s not because I don't value a career or my education. I am glad that I had the education that I do. I’m glad I have the accomplishments that I have. But truly the most important thing to me is raising strong women and raising my daughters well, probably because that's what my mother did for me. So I think that is the most important job that I will ever have. And it doesn’t really matter where we live.
But my husband and I, the President, we’re very protective to make sure they get privacy and normalcy. But we push them just as we would at any time. Our girls have responsibilities. We want to make sure they don't take anything for granted; that they’re grateful.
The things I tell my girls are the same things I tell all of you. Don't be afraid to fail. Don't be afraid to take risks. Learn to use your voice now. Ask questions. Ask stupid questions. Be laughed at. Get it wrong. Trip, fall, and then get back up. Do your homework. Do chores. Have responsibilities, because what I tell my kids -- you have to practice who you want to be. You know, you don't wake up one morning and you’re suddenly who you think you want to be. You have to put some energy into it.
So if you want to be an honest person, you have to be an honest person every day, even starting at three and four and five, right? If you’re going to be a hard worker, hard work doesn’t just appear. You have to practice hard work. You have to practice effort.
And I also encourage them and try to help them understand that good things don't come easy. With that effort, that's where you grow, that's where growth is. Some of the best times in my life, when I’ve grown, it’s when I’ve done something hard, when I’ve overcome a fear. You won’t realize that when you’re doing it, but when you come out on the other side, you realize, wow, I’ve really stepped up.
So I push my girls. And -- but more importantly, I love them a lot. And that's what I feel for all of you. I want you guys to feel that in your lives so that you can be excellent, okay?
So it’s no different. Right?
MS. DIBB: Should we have the next question from Yasmin?
Q Hi, my name is Yasmin, I’m 14, I'm from London. My question is, as the First Lady of America, how do you feel -- how do you help others around the world?
MRS. OBAMA: Say the last part?
Q How do you help others around the world?
MRS. OBAMA: How do I help others around the world? Well. I think sessions like this -- I’m hoping that it helps others around the world. I mean, mentoring young people around the world, not just in the United States, is a significant part of what my husband and I believe we should be doing -- giving all kids a chance to have some level of excellence and opportunity in their lives.
And we’ve started doing mentoring. One of the things I mentioned in my remarks is that it is so important, no matter where you are in your life, to think about how you’re helping those behind you, those younger than you, come up. And that's not just an American notion. That's what we need to be doing around the world. So mentoring is a big part of what gives us joy and pleasure and makes us feel accomplished, because it’s not enough for us to just sit in our success and advantage if we’re not doing everything we can as often as possible to bring others up, and I believe that's especially true for women around the world, women and young girls.
So these messages of hope and possibility and education and leadership and service and talking about that and shining these bright lights on models of that -- you know, I want the world to see you all, because there's going to be a set of girls looking at this, reading about this day. And even if they didn't get to be here, there's somewhere, maybe in a small village or in a city somewhere, they’re going to see you, and they’re going to feel some sense of possibility, even if they’re struggling or they’re challenged. My hope is that your stories resonate, because they can. Don't believe that this experience doesn’t matter to somebody beyond yourself. It can resonate here, in the U.K., and it can resonate around the world.
So that's a part of what we’re trying to do. But we need your help. So we need you to be ready. We need more mentoring. We need more young women pushing these doors open and getting into schools like this and other places.
I mean, Oxford is one of the most renowned universities, but there are outstanding universities and colleges that people haven’t even heard of that provide an excellent education.
So we’re pushing you to dream big because if you can see yourself here in Oxford, then you can see yourself anywhere, right? But, you know, don't feel like this is the only place to go. You have to get an education. You must get an education. You must be smart. You must be prepared. And that can happen anywhere. That can happen in community colleges, in small universities, in small cities. So that can happen anywhere.
So those are some of the messages that we’re trying to push for on an international scale. But we need you guys to be ready. All right? You’re going to be ready? Okay.
MS. DIBB: Thank you. Seren, are you ready to ask your question?
Q I’m Seren, I’m 13 years old, and my question is, when you first met the President, did you think that he would go on to achieve such great things?
MRS. OBAMA: Absolutely not. (Laughter.) No, I’m just kidding. You know, that's the thing about visioning. So, honestly, when I met him, I knew he was special. And I wish -- I’m sharing secrets now, so we have to pretend like none of these people are here, because they’re writing it all down. (Laughter.)
I knew he was a special person. And it had nothing to do with his education. It had nothing to do with his potential. And I say this to young women: Don’t check off -- there are a lot of women who have the boxes. Did he go to the right school? What is his income?
It was none of that. It was how he felt about his mother; the love that he felt for his mother; his relationship to women; his work ethic. We worked together in a firm. He did his work, and he was good, and he was smart, and I liked that. And he was low-key. And he wasn’t impressed with himself. And he was funny. And we joked a lot. And he loved his little sister.
Those were the things -- and he was a community organizer. I really respected that. Here we are in a big law firm, right? And everybody was pushing to make money. He was one of the smartest students at Harvard Law School, one of the smartest associates in our firm. He had the chance to clerk for the Supreme Court. And I thought, well, you’re definitely going to do that, right? Only a few people even have the chance to do that. And he was like, I mean, not really; I think I can do more work working with folks in churches. And I was like, whoa, that's different. And he meant it. It wasn’t a line. He wasn’t trying to impress me.
It was those kind of values that made me think you don't meet people like that often. And when you couple that with talent, and he’s cute -- (laughter) -- you know, I always thought he would be useful. (Laughter.)
But I had no idea he would be President. I didn’t think he was going to be President until the night we were standing on the stage and he actually won. I was like, gosh, look, you won. (Laughter.)
But the lesson, particularly I think for women, in this is, reach for partners that make you better, you know? Do not bring people in your life who weigh you down. And trust your instincts.
You know, good relationships feel good. They feel right. They don't hurt. They’re not painful. That's not just with somebody you want to marry, but it’s with the friends that you choose. It’s with the people you surround yourselves with. And that's just as important as the school that you choose. Who’s in your life, and do you respect them, and do they respect you? And are you respecting them. Right?
And we as women in particular -- and this is such an important message -- starting today, you all have to be supportive of each other. You can’t be jealous, and push and trip, you know? It’s hard enough. So in your lives now, whether you like somebody because of what -- be kind to each other. Support each other. There's room for everyone to succeed. And that has to start in your lives now. Right?
So that's -- I think that's a key message for us as women. And if we do it to one another, then we’ll do it in the rest of the world -- is draw goodness to you, and that will help propel you. And I was fortunate to choose a good husband. But that goes for friendships, as well. Does that make sense? Okay.
MS. DIBB: Thank you. Mary, are you ready?
MRS. OBAMA: There we go, right behind you.
Q Hello. My name is Mary and I’m 14 years old. And my question is, during your studies, did you ever suffer from low self-esteem? And if so -- that you weren’t the First Lady -- who helped you the most?
MRS. OBAMA: What helped me the most?
Q Who helped you?
MRS. OBAMA: Low self-esteem, doubt -- yeah, I talked about that, because I -- you know, I wasn’t sure, because other people told me that I might not be able to do well in school, for whatever reason. I was always a good student, I worked hard, but I thought there was some magic that happened that made you really -- you know, I didn’t know that it was just plain old hard work.
So there were periods of doubt, for sure, and I think we all -- I have doubts today. Doubts don't go away. You just learn how to deal with them. You start knowing yourself and you become more confident the more successes you have, the more chances you take. You don't let the failures or the stumbles define you.
Everybody falls every now and then. Some people fall a lot. And what I realize is that we have long lives, if we’re healthy and we do what we’re supposed to. I’m 47 years old. So think about it. Whatever mistake I made when I was 13, who cares? So think about life as a long trajectory.
But at the same time, you don't want to make huge mistakes, because when you’re young, making big, big mistakes can last forever, right? So you want to choose wisely.
But the stumbles, the lessons learned, that's part of life. That makes you grow. But I came to know that. I didn’t know that when I was your again. I thought every mistake was the end of the world. “I'll never be able to…I'll never get into school, never be…” -- you know, of course, we all feel that way. But just continue to work. Put the effort in.
And I think that has been some of what's helped me being First Lady. First of all, it’s knowing who you are and being confident in yourself, because there will be -- Clarissa worded it -- said, pushing beyond other people’s labels of you, right? That's a big part. That's what we do to each other all the time. We don't even know each other, and we already determine from one glance, meeting, one line, one word, one phrase, this is who you are.
So you have to know who you are before that. And you live that reality. And you keep living it out no matter what. And if you’re a good -- have good character and good intentions, that that ultimately shines through.
But in the end, it’s hard work. And I like to work hard. And I like to do good things. And you practice that now. And believe it or not -- I didn’t know it -- it prepared me to be the First Lady of the United States. I didn’t know. I guess I’m doing okay.
But you know what? Every day we just get up and keep doing what we think is the right thing. Right? Thanks.
MS. DIBB: should we have Aneesah next?
Q Well, thank you. Hello, my name is Aneesah Siddiqi. What do your children want to be when they grow up? Because I know that you are the First Lady. Do they aspire to be as high as that?
MRS. OBAMA: The one thing about your children is they never want to be like you. (Laughter.) They want to be the opposite of you.
But the truth is they now know that they have no idea what they want to be. I think Malia tried to -- somebody asked her that question, and she started to answer, she had five answers -- this is when she was 11 -- and then she finally said, “I don't know. I’m 11.” (Laughter.)
And you might say that for a very long time. But fortunately they understand they don't know what they want to be. But they know they aspire to go to great schools. That's what they’re starting to do now.
I don't think they understand -- Malia understands a little bit more than Sasha, but, again, my kids see the possibilities, so they aspire to the best, right? That's what we want you all to do, because they’re no different from you. It’s just they’ve set their bar really high already. But what they do know is that with that high bar, you’ve got -- that means you’ve got to work even harder, and you’ve got to be okay with working harder. And that means you’re going to stumble a little bit. If there's one thing I have to convince one of my children of is, you know, it’s not about getting the A, you know? It’s not always about getting the A.
It’s about learning, and it’s about loving learning. And sometimes the A won’t come because you take a course that pushes you, right, and it’s going to be hard, and you’re going to, again, stumble a little bit. But if you always just go for the grade, sometimes you’ll bypass what's interesting because you might not get a good grade in it, right? And I don't want you all to start doing that. It’s too early.
Read, write, read, read. If the President were here -- one of his greatest strengths is reading. That's one of the reasons why he’s a good communicator, why he’s such a good writer. He’s a voracious reader. So we’re trying to get our girls, no matter what, to just be -- to love reading and to challenge themselves with what they read, and not just read the gossip books but to push themselves beyond and do things that maybe they wouldn’t do. So I would encourage you all to read, read, read. Just keep reading.
And writing is another skill. It’s practice. It’s practice. The more you write, the better you get. Drafts -- our kids are learning the first draft means nothing. You’re going to do seven, 10 drafts. That's writing, it’s not failure, it’s not the teacher not liking you because it’s all marked up in red. When you get to be a good writer, you mark your own stuff in red, and you rewrite, and you rewrite, and you rewrite. That's what writing is.
And if you come out with those skills, and then you’re confident, and you can articulate, and you can stand up straight and look anybody in the eye and say, “This is who I am. It’s a pleasure to meet you” -- that's one of the things we try to do with our mentoring program with young girls.
My message to them is if you can walk into the White House and meet the First Lady and say, “My name is…how are you?” and look me in the eye, then there's nothing you can’t do. That's why it’s important -- if you guys walked here, are sitting here in front of all these people, standing tall, asking questions, using your voice -- you have to practice that. (Inaudible) just show up again and again, and you need to just get used to it. The nerves go away, and you start relaxing into your own abilities. But it’s practice.
That make sense? So that's what my girls -- we’re working on that. That's baseline stuff. They get that stuff down, and then whatever they want to be, it really doesn’t matter. They’ll just be good at it, right? Whatever they do, they’ll be passionate about it and they’ll be good at it.
MS. DIBB: I think we’ve got time for just one more question and a very quick answer, I believe. So have we got Bisi?
Q Hi, I’m Bisi. One question I really want to know is what’s life like on a daily basis?
MRS. OBAMA: Life on a daily basis. You know, sometimes it -- look, I’m here. And yesterday we slept in Buckingham Palace. We had a State Dinner with the Queen. Friday I'll go home and go to soccer. (Laughter.) And go over homework.
You know, it can range from very mundane and normal to oh, my god, who could have ever have dreamed? That's what life is like in the White House.
But it is exciting and it is a privilege, mostly because I get to meet you guys, and I do want you to understand that for people like us, leading you all to a better place is the only reason we do this. The dresses, the cars, the horses, the carriages, you know, I can watch that on TV. But moving you guys and pushing you to see more for yourselves is all that matters.
So if the White House lets me do that, and we can use and we can open it up and invite kids in -- and we had a poetry session and we invited young kids in, just last week, from all over the country, and they talked to some of the most outstanding poets, and they wrote their poetry in the State Room, and then we had a poetry night, and Common was there. He’s very cute.
But everybody from poet laureates to hip-hop folks, right -- it’s been -- being able to mix up the world in that interesting way -- the White House allows you to do that. And it’s fun to watch and it’s fun to have the opportunity to do that.
So otherwise, it’s kind of cool. (Laughter.)
Michelle Obama: 'You've Got It', Tuskegee University - 2015
May 9, 2015, Tuskegee University, Alabama, USA
Thank you all. Thank you so much. Let’s let our graduates rest themselves. You’ve worked hard for those seats!
Let me start by thanking President Johnson for that very gracious introduction, and for awarding me with this honorary degree from an extraordinary institution. I am proud to have this degree -- very proud. Thank you. Thank you so much.
I want to recognize Major General Williams; Congresswoman Sewell; Zachary; Kalauna; to all of the trustees, the faculty, the staff here at Tuskegee University. Thank you -- thank you so much for this warm welcome, this tremendous hospitality. And I'm so glad to be here.
Before I begin, I just want to say that my heart goes out to everyone who knew and loved Eric Marks, Jr. I understand he was such a talented young man, a promising aerospace engineer who was well on his way to achieving his dream of following in the footsteps of the Tuskegee Airmen. And Eric was taken from us far too soon. And our thoughts and prayers will continue to be with his family, his friends, and this entire community.
I also have to recognize the Concert Choir. Wow, you guys are good! Well done! Beautiful song. (Applause.) And I have to join in recognizing all the folks up in the stands -- the parents, siblings, friends -- (applause) -- so many others who have poured their love and support into these graduates every step of the way. Yeah, this is your day. Your day.
Now, on this day before Mother’s Day, I’ve got to give a special shout-out to all the moms here. Yay, moms! And I want you to consider this as a public service announcement for anyone who hasn’t bought the flowers or the cards or the gifts yet -- all right? I’m trying to cover you. But remember that one rule is “keep mom happy.” All right?
And finally, most of all, I want to congratulate the men and women of the Tuskegee University Class of 2015! T-U!
AUDIENCE: You know!
MRS. OBAMA: I love that. We can do that all day. I'm so proud of you all. And you look good. Well done!
You all have come here from all across the country to study, to learn, maybe have a little fun along the way -- from freshman year in Adams or Younge Hall -- to those late night food runs to The Coop. I did my research. To those mornings you woke up early to get a spot under The Shed to watch the Golden Tigers play. Yeah! I've been watching! At the White House we have all kinds of ways.
And whether you played sports yourself, or sang in the choir, or played in the band, or joined a fraternity or sorority -- after today, all of you will take your spot in the long line of men and women who have come here and distinguished themselves and this university.
You will follow alums like many of your parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles -- leaders like Robert Robinson Taylor, a groundbreaking architect and administrator here who was recently honored on a postage stamp. You will follow heroes like Dr. Boynton Robinson -- who survived the billy clubs and the tear gas of Bloody Sunday in Selma. The story of Tuskegee is full of stories like theirs -- men and women who came to this city, seized their own futures, and wound up shaping the arc of history for African Americans and all Americans.
And I’d like to begin today by reflecting on that history -- starting back at the time when the Army chose Tuskegee as the site of its airfield and flight school for black pilots.
Back then, black soldiers faced all kinds of obstacles. There were the so-called scientific studies that said that black men’s brains were smaller than white men’s. Official Army reports stated that black soldiers were “childlike,” “shiftless,” “unmoral and untruthful,” and as one quote stated, “if fed, loyal and compliant.”
So while the Airmen selected for this program were actually highly educated -- many already had college degrees and pilots licenses -- they were presumed to be inferior. During training, they were often assigned to menial tasks like housekeeping or landscaping. Many suffered verbal abuse at the hands of their instructors. When they ventured off base, the white sheriff here in town called them “boy” and ticketed them for the most minor offenses. And when they finally deployed overseas, white soldiers often wouldn’t even return their salutes.
Just think about what that must have been like for those young men. Here they were, trained to operate some of the most complicated, high-tech machines of their day -- flying at hundreds of miles an hour, with the tips of their wings just six inches apart. Yet when they hit the ground, folks treated them like they were nobody -- as if their very existence meant nothing.
Now, those Airmen could easily have let that experience clip their wings. But as you all know, instead of being defined by the discrimination and the doubts of those around them, they became one of the most successful pursuit squadrons in our military. (Applause.) They went on to show the world that if black folks and white folks could fight together, and fly together, then surely -- surely -- they could eat at a lunch counter together. Surely their kids could go to school together.
You see, those Airmen always understood that they had a “double duty” -- one to their country and another to all the black folks who were counting on them to pave the way forward. So for those Airmen, the act of flying itself was a symbol of liberation for themselves and for all African Americans.
One of those first pilots, a man named Charles DeBow, put it this way. He said that a takeoff was -- in his words -- “a never-failing miracle” where all “the bumps would smooth off… [you’re] in the air… out of this world… free.”
And when he was up in the sky, Charles sometimes looked down to see black folks out in the cotton fields not far from here -- the same fields where decades before, their ancestors as slaves. And he knew that he was taking to the skies for them -- to give them and their children something more to hope for, something to aspire to.
And in so many ways, that never-failing miracle -- the constant work to rise above the bumps in our path to greater freedom for our brothers and sisters -- that has always been the story of African Americans here at Tuskegee.
Just think about the arc of this university’s history. Back in the late 1800s, the school needed a new dormitory, but there was no money to pay for it. So Booker T. Washington pawned his pocket watch to buy a kiln, and students used their bare hands to make bricks to build that dorm -- and a few other buildings along the way.
A few years later, when George Washington Carver first came here for his research, there was no laboratory. So he dug through trash piles and collected old bottles, and tea cups, and fruit jars to use in his first experiments.
Generation after generation, students here have shown that same grit, that same resilience to soar past obstacles and outrages -- past the threat of countryside lynchings; past the humiliation of Jim Crow; past the turmoil of the Civil Rights era. And then they went on to become scientists, engineers, nurses and teachers in communities all across the country -- and continued to lift others up along the way.
And while the history of this campus isn’t perfect, the defining story of Tuskegee is the story of rising hopes and fortunes for all African Americans.
And now, graduates, it’s your turn to take up that cause. And let me tell you, you should feel so proud of making it to this day. And I hope that you’re excited to get started on that next chapter. But I also imagine that you might think about all that history, all those heroes who came before you -- you might also feel a little pressure, you know -- pressure to live up to the legacy of those who came before you; pressure to meet the expectations of others.
And believe me, I understand that kind of pressure. I’ve experienced a little bit of it myself. You see, graduates, I didn’t start out as the fully-formed First Lady who stands before you today. No, no, I had my share of bumps along the way.
Back when my husband first started campaigning for President, folks had all sorts of questions of me: What kind of First Lady would I be? What kinds of issues would I take on? Would I be more like Laura Bush, or Hillary Clinton, or Nancy Reagan? And the truth is, those same questions would have been posed to any candidate’s spouse. That’s just the way the process works. But, as potentially the first African American First Lady, I was also the focus of another set of questions and speculations; conversations sometimes rooted in the fears and misperceptions of others. Was I too loud, or too angry, or too emasculating? Or was I too soft, too much of a mom, not enough of a career woman?
Then there was the first time I was on a magazine cover -- it was a cartoon drawing of me with a huge afro and machine gun. Now, yeah, it was satire, but if I’m really being honest, it knocked me back a bit. It made me wonder, just how are people seeing me.
Or you might remember the on-stage celebratory fist bump between me and my husband after a primary win that was referred to as a “terrorist fist jab.” And over the years, folks have used plenty of interesting words to describe me. One said I exhibited “a little bit of uppity-ism.“ Another noted that I was one of my husband’s “cronies of color.” Cable news once charmingly referred to me as “Obama’s Baby Mama.”
And of course, Barack has endured his fair share of insults and slights. Even today, there are still folks questioning his citizenship.
And all of this used to really get to me. Back in those days, I had a lot of sleepless nights, worrying about what people thought of me, wondering if I might be hurting my husband’s chances of winning his election, fearing how my girls would feel if they found out what some people were saying about their mom.
But eventually, I realized that if I wanted to keep my sanity and not let others define me, there was only one thing I could do, and that was to have faith in God’s plan for me. I had to ignore all of the noise and be true to myself -- and the rest would work itself out.
So throughout this journey, I have learned to block everything out and focus on my truth. I had to answer some basic questions for myself: Who am I? No, really, who am I? What do I care about?
And the answers to those questions have resulted in the woman who stands before you today. (Applause.) A woman who is, first and foremost, a mom. Look, I love our daughters more than anything in the world, more than life itself. And while that may not be the first thing that some folks want to hear from an Ivy-league educated lawyer, it is truly who I am. So for me, being Mom-in-Chief is, and always will be, job number one.
Next, I’ve always felt a deep sense of obligation to make the biggest impact possible with this incredible platform. So I took on issues that were personal to me -- issues like helping families raise healthier kids, honoring the incredible military families I’d met on the campaign trail, inspiring our young people to value their education and finish college.
Now, some folks criticized my choices for not being bold enough. But these were my choices, my issues. And I decided to tackle them in the way that felt most authentic to me -- in a way that was both substantive and strategic, but also fun and, hopefully, inspiring.
So I immersed myself in the policy details. I worked with Congress on legislation, gave speeches to CEOs, military generals and Hollywood executives. But I also worked to ensure that my efforts would resonate with kids and families -- and that meant doing things in a creative and unconventional way. So, yeah, I planted a garden, and hula-hooped on the White House Lawn with kids. I did some Mom Dancing on TV. I celebrated military kids with Kermit the Frog. I asked folks across the country to wear their alma mater’s T-shirts for College Signing Day.
And at the end of the day, by staying true to the me I’ve always known, I found that this journey has been incredibly freeing. Because no matter what happened, I had the peace of mind of knowing that all of the chatter, the name calling, the doubting -- all of it was just noise. It did not define me. It didn’t change who I was. And most importantly, it couldn’t hold me back. I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values -- and follow my own moral compass -- then the only expectations I need to live up to are my own.
So, graduates, that’s what I want for all of you. I want you all to stay true to the most real, most sincere, most authentic parts of yourselves. I want you to ask those basic questions: Who do you want to be? What inspires you? How do you want to give back? And then I want you to take a deep breath and trust yourselves to chart your own course and make your mark on the world.
Maybe it feels like you’re supposed to go to law school -- but what you really want to do is to teach little kids. Maybe your parents are expecting you to come back home after you graduate -- but you’re feeling a pull to travel the world. I want you to listen to those thoughts. I want you to act with both your mind, but also your heart. And no matter what path you choose, I want you to make sure it’s you choosing it, and not someone else.
Because here’s the thing -- the road ahead is not going to be easy. It never is, especially for folks like you and me. Because while we’ve come so far, the truth is that those age-old problems are stubborn and they haven’t fully gone away. So there will be times, just like for those Airmen, when you feel like folks look right past you, or they see just a fraction of who you really are.
The world won’t always see you in those caps and gowns. They won’t know how hard you worked and how much you sacrificed to make it to this day -- the countless hours you spent studying to get this diploma, the multiple jobs you worked to pay for school, the times you had to drive home and take care of your grandma, the evenings you gave up to volunteer at a food bank or organize a campus fundraiser. They don't know that part of you.
Instead they will make assumptions about who they think you are based on their limited notion of the world. And my husband and I know how frustrating that experience can be. We’ve both felt the sting of those daily slights throughout our entire lives -- the folks who crossed the street in fear of their safety; the clerks who kept a close eye on us in all those department stores; the people at formal events who assumed we were the “help” -- and those who have questioned our intelligence, our honesty, even our love of this country.
And I know that these little indignities are obviously nothing compared to what folks across the country are dealing with every single day -- those nagging worries that you’re going to get stopped or pulled over for absolutely no reason; the fear that your job application will be overlooked because of the way your name sounds; the agony of sending your kids to schools that may no longer be separate, but are far from equal; the realization that no matter how far you rise in life, how hard you work to be a good person, a good parent, a good citizen -- for some folks, it will never be enough.
And all of that is going to be a heavy burden to carry. It can feel isolating. It can make you feel like your life somehow doesn’t matter -- that you’re like the invisible man that Tuskegee grad Ralph Ellison wrote about all those years ago. And as we’ve seen over the past few years, those feelings are real. They’re rooted in decades of structural challenges that have made too many folks feel frustrated and invisible. And those feelings are playing out in communities like Baltimore and Ferguson and so many others across this country.
But, graduates, today, I want to be very clear that those feelings are not an excuse to just throw up our hands and give up. (Applause.) Not an excuse. They are not an excuse to lose hope. To succumb to feelings of despair and anger only means that in the end, we lose.
But here’s the thing -- our history provides us with a better story, a better blueprint for how we can win. It teaches us that when we pull ourselves out of those lowest emotional depths, and we channel our frustrations into studying and organizing and banding together -- then we can build ourselves and our communities up. We can take on those deep-rooted problems, and together -- together -- we can overcome anything that stands in our way.
And the first thing we have to do is vote. Hey, no, not just once in a while. Not just when my husband or somebody you like is on the ballot. But in every election at every level, all of the time. Because here is the truth -- if you want to have a say in your community, if you truly want the power to control your own destiny, then you’ve got to be involved. You got to be at the table. You’ve got to vote, vote, vote, vote. That’s it; that's the way we move forward. That’s how we make progress for ourselves and for our country.
That’s what’s always happened here at Tuskegee. Think about those students who made bricks with their bare hands. They did it so that others could follow them and learn on this campus, too. Think about that brilliant scientist who made his lab from a trash pile. He did it because he ultimately wanted to help sharecroppers feed their families. Those Airmen who rose above brutal discrimination -- they did it so the whole world could see just how high black folks could soar. That’s the spirit we’ve got to summon to take on the challenges we face today.
And you don’t have to be President of the United States to start addressing things like poverty, and education, and lack of opportunity. Graduates, today -- today, you can mentor a young person and make sure he or she takes the right path. Today, you can volunteer at an after-school program or food pantry. Today, you can help your younger cousin fill out her college financial aid form so that she could be sitting in those chairs one day. But just like all those folks who came before us, you’ve got to do something to lay the groundwork for future generations.
That pilot I mentioned earlier -- Charles DeBow -- he didn’t rest on his laurels after making history. Instead, after he left the Army, he finished his education. He became a high school English teacher and a college lecturer. He kept lifting other folks up through education. He kept fulfilling his “double duty” long after he hung up his uniform.
And, graduates, that’s what we need from all of you. We need you to channel the magic of Tuskegee toward the challenges of today. And here’s what I really want you to know -- you have got everything you need to do this. You’ve got it in you. Because even if you’re nervous or unsure about what path to take in the years ahead, I want you to realize that you’ve got everything you need right now to succeed. You’ve got it.
You’ve got the knowledge and the skills honed here on this hallowed campus. You’ve got families up in the stands who will support you every step of the way. And most of all, you’ve got yourselves -- and all of the heart, and grit, and smarts that got you to this day.
And if you rise above the noise and the pressures that surround you, if you stay true to who you are and where you come from, if you have faith in God’s plan for you, then you will keep fulfilling your duty to people all across this country. And as the years pass, you’ll feel the same freedom that Charles DeBow did when he was taking off in that airplane. You will feel the bumps smooth off. You’ll take part in that “never-failing miracle” of progress. And you’ll be flying through the air, out of this world -- free.
God bless you, graduates. I can’t wait to see how high you soar. Love you all. Very proud. Thank you.