Episode aired 5 April 2000, USA
Mallory, education is the silver bullet. Education is everything. We don't need little changes, we need gigantic, monumental changes. Schools should be palaces. The competition for the best teachers should be fierce. They should be making six-figure salaries. Schools should be incredibly expensive for government and absolutely free of charge to its citizens, just like national defense. That's my position. I just haven't figured out how to do it yet.
to air 29 September 1998, USA
Dan: This network, the Continental Sports Channel, has asked me to clarify some remarks I made in a publication that hit your newsstands this morning. It is possible that one could come away from this article with the impression that I don't believe that drugs are a desctructive and deadly force on our culture, our economy and on the lives of our children. (long pause)
Natalie: Uh-oh.
Dave: Talk to me Dana.
Dana: Stay with him.
Natalie: Casey, be ready to take us to commercial.
Isaac: Come on Daniel.
Dan: I have a younger brother named Sam. Sam's a genius. I mean literally. As a kid, he tested off the charts. The first computer I ever had, he built from a kit he bought earning money tutoring other kids in math. He's energetic and articulate, curious and funny. A great source of pride to our parents. And there's no doubt that he'd be living a great life right now, except for that he's dead. 'Cuz when you're 14 years old, all you ever really wanna be when you grow up is your 16 year old brother, and in my case that meant smoking a lot of dope. The day I went off to college, was the day that Sam got his driver's license and he celebrated by taking a drive with some of his friends... drunk and high as a paper kite. He never saw the red light that he ran, and he probably never saw the 18 wheel truck that put him in the side of a brick bank either. (pause) That was 11 years ago tonight. And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry Sam. You deserved better in my hands. And I apologize. (deep breath) That's it. Casey and I will be right back after this with the American League wrap up. You're watching Sports Night on CSC, so don't go away.
Dave: We're out. (Starland Vocal Band's Afternoon Delight begins)
Release date: 24 June 2012, HBO
Will
It's not the greatest country in the world, professor, that's my answer.
Moderator
[pause] You're saying—
Will
Yes.
Moderator
Let's talk about—
Will
Fine. [to the liberal panelist] Sharon, the NEA is a loser. Yeah, it accounts for a penny out of our paychecks, but he [gesturing to the conservative panelist] gets to hit you with it anytime he wants. It doesn't cost money, it costs votes. It costs airtime and column inches. You know why people don't like liberals? Because they lose. If liberals are so fuckin' smart, how come they lose so GODDAM ALWAYS!
And [to the conservative panelist] with a straight face, you're going to tell students that America's so starspangled awesome that we're the only ones in the world who have freedom? Canada has freedom, Japan has freedom, the UK, France, Italy, Germany, Spain, Australia, Belgium has freedom. Two hundred seven sovereign states in the world, like 180 of them have freedom.
And you—sorority girl—yeah—just in case you accidentally wander into a voting booth one day, there are some things you should know, and one of them is that there is absolutely no evidence to support the statement that we're the greatest country in the world. We're seventh in literacy, twenty-seventh in math, twenty-second in science, forty-ninth in life expectancy, 178th in infant mortality, third in median household income, number four in labor force, and number four in exports. We lead the world in only three categories: number of incarcerated citizens per capita, number of adults who believe angels are real, and defense spending, where we spend more than the next twenty-six countries combined, twenty-five of whom are allies. None of this is the fault of a 20-year-old college student, but you, nonetheless, are without a doubt, a member of the WORST-period-GENERATION-period-EVER-period, so when you ask what makes us the greatest country in the world, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about?! Yosemite?!!!
We sure used to be. We stood up for what was right! We fought for moral reasons, we passed and struck down laws for moral reasons. We waged wars on poverty, not poor people. We sacrificed, we cared about our neighbors, we put our money where our mouths were, and we never beat our chest. We built great big things, made ungodly technological advances, explored the universe, cured diseases, and cultivated the world's greatest artists and the world's greatest economy. We reached for the stars, and we acted like men. We aspired to intelligence; we didn't belittle it; it didn't make us feel inferior. We didn't identify ourselves by who we voted for in the last election, and we didn't scare so easy. And we were able to be all these things and do all these things because we were informed. By great men, men who were revered. The first step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one—America is not the greatest country in the world anymore.
Will
[to moderator] Enough?
Related content: Aaron Sorkin, Syracuse commencement, 'Welcome to the NFL'
" There's a story about a man and a woman who have been married for 40 years. One evening at dinner the woman turns to her husband and says, "You know, 40 years ago on our wedding day you told me that you loved me and you haven't said those words since." They sit in silence for a long moment before the husband says "If I change my mind, I'll let you know." "
