aired 6 June 2012
Friends. Last night when I sat down to write a speech worthy of my mother's 87 years, I thought I was facing an impossible task until I realised that her constant crushing disapproval was a gift. The greatest gift a mother ever gave a son. My lifelong quest to please that woman is what made me the man I am today.
The man who has been the centrefold of Fortune magazine no fewer than three times.
The man who in 1984 wore a tuxedo so well, he broke up the Gogos.
The man who last night wrote, and today will deliver the greatest eulogy of all time …
[cue music]
Dublin 1852. The ship bobs in the lee tide of the icy Irish Sea, her name … Ariel
[Sentence in Gaelic]
Tracey Jordan: Today we are all Irish!
[Italian accordian and accent] And the plumber says, ‘I don't know, but that's a pretty big-a pizza.’
Kenneth: Life is for the living!
[Playing Danny Boy on the flute]
But there's a truth in the centre of that.
Thank you Kermit, for explaining the afterlife to us. Kermit: Ah, Listen, Jack, thank you for being the man we all aspire to be
Ladies and gentlemen, Sir Paul McCartney and the Harlem Boys choir.
And though the falling snow would erase her footprints, it could never erase our memory of her. I love you, mother. End of eulogy.