Billy Crystal: 'I am the greatest of all time!' 15 RoundS, Muhammad Ali retirement dinner - 1979

Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, there's very little that I can add or say about Ali that he hasn't already said himself. And this evening, I would like to pay tribute to this man who was a hero of mine with a piece that I wrote that he lived and I call it 15 rounds.

[BELL] [As Howard Cosell] Hello once again, everyone. My name is Howard Cosell. We are awaiting the arrival home of young 18-year-old Cassius Marcellus Clay. The young man who at the recent 1960 Rome Olympia, shocked and amused the world with his boxing ability and braggadocio, if you will. Here he is now only 18 years of age. Cassius, do you plan to turn professional?
[As Ali] See, nobody's ever seen nothing like me, so fast, so pretty. I'm so fast, I can play ping pong by myself. And I'm predicting that someday I'm going to gain 30 pounds and I'm going to become the heavyweight champion of the world.

[BELL] [As Cosell] Sonny Liston is not coming out! Incredibly young Cassius Clay, just as he predicted to this reporter four short years ago, has knocked out the man he called The Big Ugly Bear and become the new. heavyweight, champion of the world!
[Ali] I ]am the greatest. I am the greatest!

[BELL] I am Muhammad Ali. I will never be known as Cassius Clay again. Cassius Clay is a slave's name. I'm now a disciple of the honourable Elijah Muhammad. I'm now a black Muslim minister. I am now Muhammad Ali.

[BELL] [As news reporter] In the top of the news today, the eyes of the sports world to focus on Houston, Texas. where heavyweight champion, Muhammad Ali, also known as Cassius Clay, is expected to refuse military induction on the grounds of being a religious, conscientious objector. In other news Vietnam buildup continues ....
[As Ali] I will not fight in this war. This war is an unjust war. I cannot, will not fight.
[As draft offical] Step forward, when I call your name, please. “Cassius Clay ... Cassius Clay” ....

[BELL] [As Boxing Commissioner] Gentlemen, please, I have a brief statement. As commissioner of the New York State Boxing Association, we are issuing the following proclamation. A few hours ago, heavyweight champion, Muhammad Ali, also known as Cassius Clay, refused military induction. We are hereby stripping him of the heavyweight title ... No, no, no, no, no, no. The State Department is also revoking his passport, therefore he will not be licensed to fight any place in the world, including exhibitions.

[BELL] [As Cosell] Today, June 20th, 1967, Ali, today was convicted of draft evasion, fined $10,000, sentenced to five years in prison. There will be an appeal.

[BELL] [As Ali] For three and a half years, I couldn't fight. The best years, my prime years, my great years. Three and a half years, man! My great years, my good years, 26, 27, 28 and a half, nine years old! But then out of nowhere, the state of Georgia, 1970, gave me a licence to come back and fight Jerry Quarry. Ugly Jerry Quarry. I couldn't wait. Only took three rounds. Fwuuup! Knocked that sucker out. Then I went into Madison Square Garden against Oscar Bonavena. Ugly, he's awkward. Coming out, going ur ur ur ur! [mimes robotic walk] 15 rounds, I had to go. 15 rounds, and I used a left hook, fwuup! Knocked him out. And now Joe Frazier's the champion. I want Joe Frazier!

[BELL] [As referee] The winner and still heavyweight champion. Joe Frazier!
[As Ali] I still think I won. Now I guess I got to start all over again.

[BELL] [As Cosell] Today, vindication. Ali's conviction for draft evasion today was overturned by the United States Supreme Court by an eight to nothing vote. Ali was right. It is indeed an unjust war.
[As Ali] Howard, I'm free. I'm free at last. Now I can become heavyweight champion again!

[BELL] [As Cosell] Yesterday, an unknown heavyweight from San Diego, California, one Ken Norton, defeated Muhammad Ali, and in so doing, broke the ex-champions jaw. Ali fighting 11 rounds with a severely damaged mandible. I'm in the hospital now with Ali. His jaws are wired shut. Perhaps poetic justice. But more importantly, at the age of 33, have we seen the last of the great one? Mohammed, is this the end for you?\
[As wired jaw Ali] No ay oward! Aint no way oward! Even with my ‘aw wired shut oward. I'm still pretty. Ain't I pretty? Even though I got all this stuff Howard. You don't think I can come come back, huh? You and that bad toupee. That hair didn't come back, man. I can come back. All I've got to do is start all over again!

BELL [As Cosell] George Foreman is down incredibly here in Zaire Africa. Muhammad Ali at the age of 33 has knocked out a seemingly invincible George Foreman here in the eighth round, and become only the second man ever to regain the heavyweight title. An incredible upset.
[As Ali] Go sell you, chump! I told you I was the greatest!

[BELL] [As Cosell] October 1, 1975. Manila, the Philippines, Pearl of the South Pacific. Ali Frazier the third time around. Frazier unable to answer the bell for the 15th round. The thriller in Manila.

BELL [As Cosell] This was not boxing. This was a war. A big piece of Ali remained in that ring.
[As Ali] I fought everybody. Everybody that was to fight, I fought. I didn't dodge nobody. I was colourful. I predicted the rounds. I was bigger than boxing. My fights is seen all over the world. I fought Ugly Joe Frazier three times. I fought Ken Norton three times and sat through Mandingo twice. I was bigger than boxing ... Every place I go, they know me. I go to Bangladesh, they yell, "Ali. Ali!' I go to Africa, 'Ali Boma ye'. I go to Russia. I see Brezhnev in person. Carter can't get him on the phone! And at the age of 36, I'm 36 years of age. I'm still pretty. Isn't that something? Not a mark on my face. Isn't that something? 36 years of age, I'm still fast. They saying I'm slowing down, they say … I'm so fast. I can turn out the lights in my bedroom, be in the bed before the room gets dark. The only thing that could whoop me now is Father Time.

[BELL] [As Cosell] It's over! Young Leon Spinks with only eight professional fights has decisioned a seemingly ageing Muhammad Ali here in Las Vegas. An incredible upset. So much like the young. Cassius Clay 14 years ago in that ring in Miami Beach. The champ is dead. Long live the champ!

[BELL] [As Ali] [Soft piano] He surprised me that Spinks. I guess at the age of 36, I couldn't train like I want to train, couldn't do the things in the ring I want to do, gave that ugly sucker the first seven rounds and tried to come back after him. Just gave away too much. Every time I reached back for that something to knock him out, just wasn't there. Hell, he was so ugly. I figured ain't no way he could beat me. Oh, Leon. Yeah, they took away his driver's licence.he walked into a telephone pole. Everybody's saying to me now, they're saying, "Hey Champ, you must feel bad you ain't champ no more. You lost to some kid who looked like a train ran through his face." I say, "Hey, hey man, I ain't getting nothing to be sorry about. You see, everybody in life suffers a loss. You see, it's the one who can overcome the loss and make a success of himself that's really doing something. [applause] As I look back over my career, I was heavyweight champion 14 years ago, man. Ain't that something? 14 years ago. I had a great life. Allah has been good to me. 59 professional fights, made a lot of money, got beautiful kids, great family, got everything to look forward to.
But something's eating at me. I don't want to go out losing to no Leon Spinks with eight professional fights. I don't want to be remembered as being out of shape in that ring in Las Vegas. I want him one more time. And I'm going to do it. I'm 36 years of age, my body's tired. I don't like training very much, but starting tomorrow, I'm getting in shape for that rematch with Leon. Getting up early, I'm going to run with the moon! I'm going to start hitting that table and doing those pushups, doing sit ups, going to take the punches ... do whatever I have to do, and I'm going to run. And I want to be the first man ever to win the title for the third time. Nobody's ever done anything like that. But then again, nobody's ever done anything quite like me. And I'm predicting that I'm going to do it because I want to be the heavyweight champ for the third time. Because I can do it. And you can do it too! No matter what you is in life, no matter what colour, no matter what religion, it's never too late to start all over again. Never forget that. And you'll never forget me. I am the greatest of all time!'

[TRIUMPHAL MUSIC, ARMS RAISED, DANCING AROUND STAGE]