Ruby Tui: 'We are here firm!', post match interview - 2022

Best ever post match interview?

This is how you grow a sport. pic.twitter.com/fiKSPp5gtq

— Geraint Davies (@daviesGDD) November 12, 2022

12 November 2022, Eden Park, New Zealand

How was it New Zealand? How was it!

I'm just so proud to be a New Zealander right now. They said nobody cared about women’s rugby. Well guess what? We are here. We are here firm. We’re going nowhere.

New Zealand ,,, how are you. No for reals.

Thank you for letting us be here, have our presence here.

They said we coudln’t do it, Kirs, they said we wouldn’t. we all did it and honestly it took all of us. Anyone out there defended an England maul before, it aint easy in the last minute baby. But we all did it together. New Zealand was a part of that. And I’m so proud to be here right now.

Thank you for choosing this black ferns team over the sevens this year, thanks for everything you’ve done the sport in this country.

It wasn’t easy, I got bloody shafted from sevens, but here we are in fifteens! New Zealand!

[Leads singing of Maori folk song Tūtira Mai Ngā Iwi]

Joe Marler: 'Get back on the horse', Harlequins v Bath pre game interview - 2019

21 November 2019, Twickenham, London, United Kingdom

I wasn’t hurting as much as the lads who were out there, but I definitely felt it and I know how hard the boys have taken that.

They will be disappointed with the account we put out but we have got another week to get back on the horse and take that horse to the water, and you can ask that horse, 'hey horsey, do you want to have a drink or do you want to swim?'"

It is up to that horse to then realise what he wants to do in his life, and that horse at the moment wants to go out on Saturday and he wants to clippety-clop all the way to the Stoop and he wants to say hello to those fans and he wants to say [horse voice] 'I'm sorry about the result last week but I'm going to give a better performance here at home against Bath.'

He is a slightly Irish horse. So we are looking forward to getting back on that horse.

Are you yourself looking forward to getting "back on the horse", six months since we last saw you?

I don't like horses. I can't ride.

Mick Colliss: 'My Son the Back', Cauliflower Club lunch - 2016

October 2016, Westin Hotel, Sydney, Australia

Mick Colliss is an Australian representative, not in his beloved sport of rugby but in the equally rugged sport of Sudoku. He tells his story hilariously and brilliantly. Book through ICMI.

There are some wonderful rivalries in world rugby, one of them is the Wallabies versus the All Blacks, but for me the greatest rivalry is not so much nation against nation, but backs against forwards. And as Fitzy eluded to, the forwards are the big strong tough aggressive, charismatic, witty , handsome, intelligent individuals who spend eighty minutes of every game selflessly trying to get the ball so they can give it to the backs, so they can either drop it, or kick it away.

And as an ex rugby forward, my greatest fear is that my son will grow up to become a back.
I think let him be a pimp, or a lawyer, if he must, but please keep him out of any jersey numbered nine through fifteen.

It is something that I worry about, and it got to the point where …


I woke up with a headache that’d hung around for days
And half a pack of Aspirin wouldn’t make it go away
I knew the thing that caused it and it made me feel depressed
It wasn’t too much alcohol, just simply too much stress.

So I rang my local doctor in my quest to get it fixed
A chat and some prescription drugs I thought would do the trick.
I drove to my appointment and arrived in ample time.
Then sat and watched and waited, ‘til the next name called was mine.

I walked into the doctor’s room, he checked me up and down
Then peered over his glasses as he asked me with a frown:
“Are you worried your blood pressure might be up again?
Or is your gout and hernia a cause of constant pain?

“Are you being bothered by your bulging lumbar disc
Your slowly failing eyesight or your sub-cutaneous cyst?
Your rhumatoid arthritis or those ulcers on your tongue?
Your kidney stones, your fungus, or those dark spots on your lung?

Your low sperm count, your dodgy knee, that cancer on your hand,
That rash around your anus, your grotesquely swollen gland?
Well surely then you’re worried ‘bout your pending heart attack.
“No,” I said, “I’m worried that my son’s become a back.”

“He’s only short in stature and his thighs and arms are small
He cries when he gets injured and he cannot catch the ball.
He’d rather kick than tackle and his nose is deadly straight
He’d rather hang out with his mum than drink beer with his mates.

“His ears aren’t cauliflowered and he will not tape his head
And every night, by 8 o’clock, he’s tucked up in his bed
He’s fast and he’s elusive and the girls all think he’s cute
And as for scrums and lineouts, well, he hasn’t got a clue.

“His body isn’t hairy and he very rarely sweats
He’d rather read a book than play in winter when it’s wet.
He’s never skulled a schooner and he’s quick to bite and scratch
He whinges, whines and finds my Garryowens hard to catch.

“He’s never punched a punching bag, or bench pressed his own weight
Or stacked the bar and squatted - doing sets of six to eight
His head is bigger than his neck, he can’t secure the ball
He’s never seen a prop up close or drove a rolling maul.”

As I described the symptoms my good doctor simply smiled.
I said: “You do not understand – this is my only child.
I tell you Doc, I’m worried, is there something I can do?”
“Give it time,” the doctor said. “Your son is only two.”

© Mick Colliss
mickcolliss.com

Phil Bennett: 'Look what these bastards have done to Wales', pregame Wales v Engalnd - 1977

5 March 1977, Cardiff Arms Park, Cardiff, Wales, United Kingdom

Look what these bastards have done to Wales. They've taken our coal, our water, our steel. They buy our homes and live in them for a fortnight every year. What have they given us? Absolutely nothing. We've been exploited, raped, controlled and punished by the English — and that's who you are playing this afternoon.

Is the speech apocryphal? Here is Bennett's explanation.

Jim Telfer: 'You are privileged. You are the chosen few', Everest speech - 1997

21 June 1997, Newlands, Cape Town, South Africa

The easy bit has passed. Selection for the Test team is the easy bit. You have an awesome responsibility on the eight individual forwards’ shoulders, awesome responsibility. This is your f***ing Everest, boys. Very few ever get a chance in rugby terms to get for the top of Everest. You have the chance today.

Being picked is the easy bit. To win for the Lions in a Test match is the ultimate, but you’ll not do it unless you put your bodies on the line. Every one jack of you for 80 minutes. Defeat doesn’t worry me. I’ve had it often and so have you. It’s performance that matters. If you put in the performance, you’ll get what you deserve. No luck attached to it. If you don’t put it in, then we’re second-raters.

They don’t respect you. They don’t rate you. The only way to be rated is to stick one on them, to get right up in their faces and turn them back, knock them back. Outdo what they do. Outjump them, outscrum them, outruck them, outdrive them, outtackle them, until they’re f***ing sick of you.

Remember the pledges you made. Remember how you depend on each other at every phase, teams within teams, scrums, lineouts, ruck ball, tackles.

They are better than you’ve played against so far. They are better individually or they wouldn’t be there. So it’s an awesome task you have and it will only be done if everybody commits themself now.

You are privileged. You are the chosen few. Many are considered but few are chosen. They don’t think f*** all of us. Nothing. We’re here just to make up the f***ing numbers. No one’s going to do it for you. You have to find your own solace — your own drive, your ambition, your own inner strength, because the moment’s arrived for the greatest game of your f***ing life.

The Lions won the first Test 25-16

Ian McGeechan: 'Today will determine what we are", 3rd Test v South Africa - 2009

5 July 2009, Ellis Park, Johannesburg, South Africa

They’ve said there’s nothing to play for, that it’s a dead series. I’ll remind you of what Gats (assistant coach Warren Gatland) said on Wednesday – I think we’ve got everything to play for.

Because today will determine what we are. It will say everything about us. The biggest thing you earn in this jersey is a respect and a reputation, and to any person, that’s the biggest thing you can have, for what you do and what you stand for.

We can leave a legacy…in this last game, in this jersey, for the players to pick up in four year’s time. For four years, we leave something that makes sure that when people think about the Lions, they think about the good. They’ll think about you, they’ll think about this performance and they can live with it for four years.

Some of you might be there to pick up the next jersey in four years time. Some of us won’t be. Please, please give them something to play for and something to understand.

Good luck, but play for everything we want that jersey to be and everything you’ve made it so far. All the best boys.

The Lions won the test, 28-9

Scott Quinnell: 'And those dragons this year, I am convinced are going to breathe f*cking fire!' School of hard Knocks documentary - 2012

2012

I'm just so, so excited. I don't know whether it's a bit of nerves, anticipation, it's just what is gonna happen in the next 80 minutes, is gonna to reflect what has happened in the last eight weeks. For some of us it's gonna to reflect on what's happened most of our lives. It's gonna to be a fuckin' battle. Eight weeks ago you made the choice to walk through that door, that rugby club door and you said to us "I want to be part of School of Hard Knocks. I want an opportunity in life. I want to go out and I want to be better rugby player. I want to be a better person but more importantly I want to be part of something that will change not only mine, but the rest of our lives."

I'm so fuckin' proud of you lads, what you've been through. We've had highs, we've had lows. I say something every year that if you don't feel those butterflies in your stomach now, the butterflies, those nerves in your stomach, if they are there now, when we walk out that door they turn to dragons because they get bigger and they get stronger and we use them. And those dragons this year, I am convinced are gonna to breathe fuckin' fire! We are gonna to go out and we are gonna to be School of Hard Knocks, the team that brings home the fuckin' big 'un. Are we ready? Are we ready? C'mon!

The butterflies, those nerves in your stomach, if they are there now, when we walk out that door, they turn to dragons because they get bigger and they get stronger and we use them. And those dragons this year, I am convinced are going to breathe fucking fire! We are gonna go out and we are gonna be School of Hard Knocks, the team that brings home the fucking BIG 'UN! Are we ready? Are we ready? C'mon!

Paul O'Connell: 'I want them standing back thinking what the fuck is going on here?' Lions captain, pre game - 2007

11 February 2007, Ireland v France Six Nations, Ireland

If someone’s walking, if someone isn’t filling a gap, you get on his case, you say it to him. If I’m fucking walking, I want to hear it.

Listen to me, listen to me. I want them standing back thinking what the fuck is going on here? Not for the first five minutes, every fucking minute of the game.

Fucking manic aggression.

Did you scare anyone? Did you fucking put the fear of God into anyone?

Ian McGeechan - 'Be special for the rest of your lives', pre game 2nd Test, Lions Tour - 1997

28 June 1997, King's Park, Durban, South Africa

There are days like this ... when many ruby players never have it. Never experience it. It’s special.

Jim and I have been involved in rugby a long time.

I can tell you , these are the things , these are the days that you never believe will come again.

It has.

And I can tell you. I’ve given a lot of things up.

I love my rugby. And I love my family.

And when you come to a day like this, you know why you do it all.

You know why you;ve been involved. It’s been a privilege -- is a privilege. Because we’re something special.

You’ll meet each other in the street in thirty years time, and there’ll just be a look, and you’ll know just how special some days in your life are.

We’ve proved that the lion has claws and has teeth.

We’ve wounded a springbok.

When an animal is wounded it returns in frenzy.

It doesn’t think. It fights for its very existence.

The lion waits, and at the right point, it goes for the jugular.

And the life disappears.

Today, every second of that game -- we’ve talked about what they’re going to do, or everybody else has -- we go for the jugular.

Every tackle, every pass, every kick, is saying, you’re a fucking springbok, you’re dying.

Your hopes of living in this test series -- are going.

And on that field sometimes today, all it will be between you is a look. No words, just a look. That will say everything.

And the biggest thing it will say is, ‘you are special’

You are very, very special.

It has been, and is, a privilege.

Go out, enjoy it, remember how you’ve got here, and why.

And finish it off.

And be special for the rest of your lives.

Good luck, go for it.

McGeechan's forwards coach, Jim Telfer also gave an extrordinary speech on this tour, aslo on Speakola.

Jim Telfer: 'From now on, gloves are off. It's bare knuckle f***in’ stuff', Lions tour, Forwards meeting - 1997

June 1997, British and Irish Lions tour, South Africa

Sadly, there is no full version of this speech left on YouTube, just the Gillette ad. It gives a feel, without the full majesty.

There are two types of rugby players boys.

There’s honest ones, and there’s the rest.

The honest player gets up in the morning and looks himself in the fucking mirror, and sets his standard. Sets his stall out, and says I’m going to get better. I’m going to get better. I’m going to get better.

He doesn’t complain about the food, or the beds, or the referees. Or all these sorts of things.

These are just peripheral things that weak players have always complained about. The dishonest player.

If I tell a player he’s too high, or he’s not tight enough, he’s too fucking high. He’s not tight enough. And that’s it. I’m the judge, and not the player.

And we accept that, and we do something about it.

I’ve coached Lions teams before, and we’ve complained and carped and this that and the next thing.

And I liken it a bit to the British and the Irish going abroad on holiday.

The first thing they look for is an English pub, the second thing they look is a pint of Guinness
and the third thing they look for is a fish and chip shop.
The only thing they accept is the sun. They don't take on anything that’s good or decent of different abroad.

If we do that we’re sunk!

We don't go back bitchin'. We don't go back carpin', Oh we've done it this way at Twickenham or Cardiff Arms parks or Lansdowne Road or Murrayfield!

No, no these days are past.

 What’s accepted over there is not accepted over here. It's not accepted by us -- me and you.
So from now on the page is turned. Were in a new book, different attitudes. We’re honest with ourselves.

And in many respects in the forward play, and let's be fuckin honest, we've been second best.
We can match them! But only if we get it right here (points to his head) and right here (points to his heart).

Two weeks. There’s battles all along the way. There’s a battle on Saturday. There’s a battle next Wednesday. There’s a battle the following Saturday. A battle the following Tuesday -- until were into the fuckin’ big arena. The one we’ll be there on Saturday. And by that time the fuckin’ Lions have to make them fuckin’ roar for us.

Because they'll be baying for blood. Let’s hope it's fucking springbok blood

We’re focussed. From now on, kid gloves are off. It's bare knuckle fuckin’ stuff. And only at the end of the day will the man that’s standing on his feet win the fuckin’ battle.

Related content: Ian McGeechan coach's address on same Lions tour, 'Be special for the rest of your lives', 1997.

"We’ve wounded a springbok.

When an animal is wounded it returns in frenzy.

It doesn’t think. It fights for its very existence.

The lion waits, and at the right point, it goes for the jugular.

And the life disappears."

Read and hear speech.