Geoff Lemon: 'Hey Shane Watson, let's go over the rules of the DRS', Lord's rant - 2013

19 July 2013, Lord's, London, UK

This video was produced as part of a 2013 Ashes tour diary writer Geoff Lemon was doing for The Roar.

Hey Shane Watson, let’s go over the rules of the DRS.

If you get given out, and you think you’re not out, you can review it, and then maybe you won’t be out.

If you’re not out, you keep the review.

If you are out, you lose the review.

That means, it’s good to be right. You may choose to remember this with the acronym, IGTBR, or the useful pneumonic, I Grow Tomatoes Bro, Respect!

The thing is, you’ve got two reviews,  and eleven batsman.

Mathematically that works out to LESS THAN ONE REVIEW PER BATSMAN.

The conclusion on that, you should base your reviews on evidence, not just preferring not to be out.

Let’s just have a look at the DRS analysis of your reviews, Shane.

GRAPHIC - DECISION: Terrible, WICKET: Early; IMPACT: Negligible; BITCHING; Outside off

See any problems here?

Hey Shane Watson! Let me pitch you a hypothetical. Let’s say you’ve got a batsman who gets nailed LBW every innings, and then has a review on a 50-50 call, in hope, and then he’s always out, and then his opening partner gets a really terrible call, but he’s not game to use a review, because he’s not a selfish dickhead, so then he’s out, so then you’ve got two batsman out, and one review wasted, and the rest of the team goes down for 100 in the rest of the day, and Chris Rogers was going to get a century, we could see it in his eyes, and what do you think about that, Shane?

Here‘s a question for you: Shane was inducted into the Hall of Fame on this ground today. What do you think he would have done? Do you think you’re worthy to share the eight letters you have in common with his name?

You know when’s a good time to use DRS? When you get out, but you KNOW that you’re not out!

Then, you’re probably going to end up not out.

You know when’s a bad time to use DRS?

When you’re out, BUT YOU JUST KINDA WISH THAT YOU WEREN’T!

Stop acting like it’s beach cricket Shane!

Stop acting like it’s a centre wicket practice session for your benefit!

Stop acting like ... Shane Watson!