Now, I understand, that there are a number of you... ["Asshole"-Chants] I understand that there are a number of you... I understand that... I understand that some of you feel as though that the McMahon-Helmsley Faction, last Monday on Raw, just wasn't fair to Chris Jericho. I understand that many of you feel as though, since the McMahon-Helmsley Faction made Chris Jericho compete on three different occasions, defending the Intercontinental title until he lost it, that it just wasn't fair. Well, that's just too damn bad.
Because, if you don't think it was fair Monday, you're probably the same kind of people who wait in line, you wait forever in line, like sheep all lined up, you wait in line, waiting your turn, and then you'll see someone like myself very aggressively cut in the front of the line, and you'll say, "Wait a minute! That's not fair!" And what about ... the parking lot, we've all been there. There you are, patiently waiting for your little parking space, and it suddenly appears, you start driving your car - Oops! Someone zips in, cuts you off, parks their car, and you say "Wait a minute! That's my parking space, that's not fair!" ... What about - What about on those few occasions, when you will honestly, and objectively, look into the full-length mirror... Alright, now we're getting somewhere. And you women, look into the mirror, and you look at yourselves, and you say "Ewwww, eeeeh. Look at the cellulite hanging from my hips and my buttocks! That's not fair!" And you men, you men won't come close to the mirror! But on that rare occasion where you might take a quick glimpse, you say "Oh, That can't be me... No, that can't be with the potbelly, and the small genitalia! Oh no, that's not fair!" And you look at yourselves - Go ahead, look at yourselves! Look at the person sitting next to you, yeah, look at ‘em! Look at the person sitting in front of you! Go ahead, look at all of you! You look at yourselves, and you compare yourselves to the beautiful people here in this ring, and you say "That's not fair!"
And, forget about the looks, what about the money, huh? What about the money?! Uh-huh! You scrimp and you save, you work yourselves half to death, and still, you can't afford what you really want? "That's not fair!" It's not fair that some people are rich, and you're not! "That's not fair!" And you know, you have to face the facts, that the vast majority of you are just born with inferior DNA. And you say "It's not fair I'm born with inferior DNA!" But you feel sorry for yourselves, you wallow in your self-pity, and then you have to face the facts, that life is not fair. And some of you, a select few, you might as well go ahead and admit it, you might as well own up to the philosophy, for some of you, and that is that - Life sucks, and then you die!