Shawn Michaels: 'Who's your daddy, Montreal', WWE RAW #638 heel promo - 2005

15 August 2005, Montreal, Canada

Who's your daddy, Montreal? [Schallend laute Buhrufe und "You screwed Bret" Chants] Well since all of you have been so respectful to me I would like to return in kind:

Oh Canada, how much I hate this place
oh Canada, I'm gonna kick Hulk Hogan right in the face...

Alright, I admit I'm no singer... but what I am is the SHOWSTOPPER, the HEADLINER, The MAIN EVENT, The ICON of the WWE, yours truly, Shawn Michaels. Hulk Hogan, at SummerSlam I promise - no, better yet - I guarantee... I guarantee Hogan, I'll give you and the WWE fans something to remember. And of course all of you here in Montreal know that I'm all about... you know that I'm all about giving you memories.

SURVIVOR SERIES 1997, I handed Canada's own, Bret 'The Hitman' Hart his most miserable defeat. [We want Bret Chants] You want Bret? You're not gonna get Bret because I SCREWED BRET! I did it once and I'd do it again! If Bret 'The Hitman' Hart had any guts and he walked down that aisle tonight, stepped into this ring and looked me eye to eye like a man, I'd say: 'Hitman: I screwed you once and I'll screw you again. Because Bret... [Brets Musik ertönt aus den Boxen, die Fans explodieren vor Jubel und Michaels schaut zunächst geschockt, um die Fans dann nach einer Weile hämisch anzugrinsen - Bret ist nicht da, er hat die Musik einspielen lassen]

Got your hopes up just a little bit, didn't I? You will never - and I mean ever - hear or see Bret 'The Hitman' Hart inside a WWE ring again. Hulk Hogan, I did it to Bret Hart and at SummerSlam I'm gonna do it to you! You see, what all those Montreal Canadiennes despise about the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels is that I'm everything they wish they could be. I come out here with my live microphone and I do what I want when I wanna do it. Let's face it Hulk Hogan: It's the same thing that you don't like about me. I'm unlike everybody you ever had to deal with. And at SummerSlam, BROTHER, whatcha gonna do, BROTHER, whatcha gonna do, BROTHER, when... [Hulk Hogans Musik wird eingespielt, wieder jubelt das Publikum laut, wieder tut Michaels erschrocken um sich dann schließlich eins zu lachen - er hat die Fans wieder an der Nase herumgeführt]

Oh my. Now. Now. C'mon, now, the first time, sure, maybe I'm cruel. The second time, all you do is show the entire world that Montreal is everything I ever said it was. You Canucks are not the sharpest knives in the drawer. You don't like me very much, do ya? I know, I know, nothing would thrill you more than to have one of your heroes like Bret 'The Hitman' Hart or Hulk Hogan come down that aisle and just give me, aw, just give me what for. Well guess what? It isn't gonna happen. And I'll tell ya why. One, nobody in this industry can touch me. And two, your heroes like Bret 'the Hitman' Hart and Hulk Hogan, they're not even here yet. They're such big WWE superstars that their limos don't bring them to the show until it's already in progress... [Shawn stoppt aufgrund lauter Buhrufe, setzt sich hin und wartet, bis die Fans sich beruhigt haben]

Now that you understand who's running this show, I'll continue. Hulk Hogan, the second thing I despise about you is what I despise about Bret Hart. You stood for some moral fiber that in your real life did not exist. Yet you stood in judgement of me. And you, Hulk Hogan, well, you'd stand for just about anything. There isn't a realistic bone in your body. Hulk Hogan, you're the biggest star in WWE history. And at Summerslam, I want you to bring your big star, I want you to bring your boa, I want you to have your sunglasses on, and your chin held high. [Shut the fuck up Chants] Nice language. Do you teach your children the same talk? You do. Yet every one of you Montreal Canadien men do nothing but stand there and talk it while I walk it. Hulk Hogan, at Summerslam, you're one move from your star being snuffed out. You don't believe me? Just ask Bret 'The Hitman' Hart."

Shane Douglas: 'Tonight, let the new era begin, the era of the franchise', WWE promo - 1994

In the tradition of Lou Thesz, in the tradition of Jack Brisco of the Brisco Brothers, of Dory Funk Jr., of Terry Funk-- the man who will never die. As the real Nature Boy Buddy Rogers, upstairs tonight. From the Harley Races, to the Barry Windhams, to the Ric Flairs, I accept this heavyweight title. ... Wait a second, I'm Kerry Von Erich. I'm the fat man himself, Dusty Rhodes. This is it tonight, Dad. God, that's beautiful. And Rick Steamboat, and they can all kiss my ass."

Belt gets dumped.

I am not the man who accepts a torch to be handed down to me from an organization that died seven years ago. The Franchise, Shane Douglas, is the man who ignites the new flame of the sport of professional wrestling."

Enter ECW belt.

Tonight, before God and my father is witness, I declare myself, The Franchise, as the new ECW Heavyweight Champion of the world! We have set out to change the face of professional wrestling. So tonight, let the new era begin: the era of the sport of professional wrestling, the era of The Franchise, the era of the ECW.

CM Punk: 'I'm just a spoke on the wheel, and the wheel's going to keep turning', WWE promo - 2011

27 June 2011, WWE Raw, Las Vegas, Nevada

John Cena, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this, because before I leave in three weeks with your WWE Championship, I have a lot of things I wanna get off my chest. I don't hate you, John. I don't even dislike you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back. I hate this idea that you're the best - because you're not. I'm the best. I'm the best in the world. There's one thing you're better at than I am and that's kissing Vince McMahon's ass. You're as good at kissing Vince's ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don't know if you're as good as Dwayne. He's a pretty good ass-kisser. Always was and still is. Oops - I'm breaking the fourth wall. [He waves at the camera] I am the best wrestler in the world. I've been the best ever since Day One when I walked into this company. And I've been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That's right, I'm a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar. And he split, just like I'm splittin', but the biggest difference between me and Brock is that I'm going to leave with the WWE Championship. I've grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon's imaginary brass rings that it's finally dawned on me that they're just that. They're completely imaginary. The only thing that's real is me. And the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I've proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring and even on commentary. Nobody can touch me. And yet, no matter how many times I prove it, I'm not on your lovely little collectors' cups, I'm not on the cover of the program, I'm barely promoted, I don't get to be in movies, I'm not on any crappy show on the USA Network, I'm not on the poster of WrestleMania, I'm not on the signature that's produced at the start of the show. I'm not on Conan O'Brien, I'm not on Jimmy Fallon, but the fact of the matter is I should be. And trust me, this isn't sour grapes, but the fact that "Dwayne" is in the main event of WrestleMania next year and I'm not, makes me sick! Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now - you are just as big a part of me leaving as anyone else, because you're the ones sipping out of those collector cups right now, you're the ones that buy those programs that my face isn't on the cover of, and then at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face thinking you can get an autograph and sell it on eBay, because you're too lazy to get a real job. I'm leaving with the WWE championship on July 17 and hell, who knows, maybe I'll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe I'll go back to Ring of Honor. [Punk beckons again into the camera] Hey, Colt Cabana, how you doing? The reason I'm leaving is you people because after I'm gone you're still going to pour money into this company - I'm just a spoke on the wheel - the wheel's gonna keep turning. And I understand that Vince McMahon's gonna make money despite himself. He's a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he's not a billionaire? It's because he surrounds himself with glad-handing nonsensical douche bag yes-men like John Laurinaitis, who's gonna tell him everything he wants to hear. And I'd like to think that maybe this company will be better after Vince McMahon is dead, but the fact is, it's gonna get taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family. Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon. You know we do this whole bully campaign- [the microphone is turned off, Punk knocks a few times on top of it and then calls without micro] I've been silenced!

'Stone Cold' Steve Austin: 'Austin 3:16 says I just kicked your ass', WWF promo, King of the Ring - 1996

23 June 1996, Mecca Arena, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA

[Dok Hendrix:] The fourth prestigious King Of The Ring, Stone Cold Steve Austin, an incredible victory!

[Austin:] The first thing I want to be done, is to get that piece of crap out of my ring. Don't just get him out of the ring, get him out of the WWF because I've proved son, without a shadow of a doubt, you ain't got what it takes anymore! You sit there and you thump your Bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn’t get you anywhere. Talk about your psalms, talk about John 3:16…
Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!

[Hendrix:] Come on, that's not necessary

[Austin:] All he's gotta do is go buy him a cheap bottle of Thunderbird and try to dig back some of that courage he had in his prime.

As the King Of The Ring, I'm serving notice to every one of the WWF superstars. I don't give a damn what they are, they're all on the list, and that's Stone Cold's list, and I'm fixing to start running through all of 'em.

And as far as this championship match is considered son, I don't give a damn if it's Davey Boy Smith or Shawn Michaels, Steve Austin's time is come, and when I get that shot you're looking at the next WWF Champion.
And that's the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so.

Vince McMahon: 'Life sucks, and then you die', WWF Smackdown #39, promo - 2000

9 May 2000, New Haven, Connecticut, USA

Now, I understand, that there are a number of you... ["Asshole"-Chants] I understand that there are a number of you... I understand that... I understand that some of you feel as though that the McMahon-Helmsley Faction, last Monday on Raw, just wasn't fair to Chris Jericho. I understand that many of you feel as though, since the McMahon-Helmsley Faction made Chris Jericho compete on three different occasions, defending the Intercontinental title until he lost it, that it just wasn't fair. Well, that's just too damn bad.

Because, if you don't think it was fair Monday, you're probably the same kind of people who wait in line, you wait forever in line, like sheep all lined up, you wait in line, waiting your turn, and then you'll see someone like myself very aggressively cut in the front of the line, and you'll say, "Wait a minute! That's not fair!" And what about ... the parking lot, we've all been there. There you are, patiently waiting for your little parking space, and it suddenly appears, you start driving your car - Oops! Someone zips in, cuts you off, parks their car, and you say "Wait a minute! That's my parking space, that's not fair!" ... What about - What about on those few occasions, when you will honestly, and objectively, look into the full-length mirror... Alright, now we're getting somewhere. And you women, look into the mirror, and you look at yourselves, and you say "Ewwww, eeeeh. Look at the cellulite hanging from my hips and my buttocks! That's not fair!" And you men, you men won't come close to the mirror! But on that rare occasion where you might take a quick glimpse, you say "Oh, That can't be me... No, that can't be with the potbelly, and the small genitalia! Oh no, that's not fair!" And you look at yourselves - Go ahead, look at yourselves! Look at the person sitting next to you, yeah, look at ‘em! Look at the person sitting in front of you! Go ahead, look at all of you! You look at yourselves, and you compare yourselves to the beautiful people here in this ring, and you say "That's not fair!"

And, forget about the looks, what about the money, huh? What about the money?! Uh-huh! You scrimp and you save, you work yourselves half to death, and still, you can't afford what you really want? "That's not fair!" It's not fair that some people are rich, and you're not! "That's not fair!" And you know, you have to face the facts, that the vast majority of you are just born with inferior DNA. And you say "It's not fair I'm born with inferior DNA!" But you feel sorry for yourselves, you wallow in your self-pity, and then you have to face the facts, that life is not fair. And some of you, a select few, you might as well go ahead and admit it, you might as well own up to the philosophy, for some of you, and that is that - Life sucks, and then you die!

Bob Uecker: 'When he called me about wrestling, I didn’t really want to do it', WWE Hall of Fame: 2010

27 March 2010, Phoenix, Arizona, USA

Thank you very much. Thank you Richie (Dick Ebersol), long time friend. I had a lot to say but that (Antonio) Inoki guy (who spoke in Japanese) said the same stuff I was going to say. I was back there saying, ‘What’s he doing? He stole my stuff.’

Anyway, I wasn’t always a great player. People say, ‘You can talk the way you do because you were always a great ballplayer.’ Well, I wasn’t. Signed for a very modest $3000 bonus with the Braves. Which aggravated my old man because he didn’t have that kind of money to put out. But the Braves took it. And from there, I went on, was with the Braves twice actually. they didn’t believe I was as bad the first time, the second time I proved it . St Louis Cardinals where I showed up for every game, which i think showed great team spirit. And those I didn’t show up for I always tried to catch on the radio.

I played for the St. Louis Cardinals, where I won a world championship in 1964. Bing Devine was the general manager of the Cardinals at that time. He asked me to do him a favor that would really help the club. I said, ‘Sure, I’m a team guy.’ He said, ‘We want to inject you with hepatitis. That will allow us to call somebody up to take your spot.’ I said, ‘Can I sit on the bench?’ He said, ‘Yeah, we’ll put a plastic thing around you. Maybe you can go over and shake hands with some of the Yankee players and infect them.’ We went on to win the World Championship that year.

Actually, the first sport I tried when I was a youngster was football. My dad didn’t know a lot about sports but he wanted me to do what all the other kids were doing. He gets me this football. We were passing it and trying to kick it. I couldn’t throw it. He can’t throw it. We were really getting aggravated and stuff like that. Then a nice-enough neighbor came over and put some air in it, and it made a huge difference.

Actually, I took an interest in wrestling, in high school. I wasn’t a very big guy. I was about 5-11. I weighed, I don’t know, maybe 75, 80 pounds. A couple guys used to wear my supporter as a wristband. I came from a family that didn’t have a lot of money. My mother made my supporter out of a flour sack. Little specks of flower came dropping out of it. In the front, it said ‘Pillsbury’s Best.’

Tonight, I wore my Hall of Fame ring from wrestling. They gave everybody one from the WWE, thank you very much. All the other wrestlers got a diamond. I got a zircon. And theirs is not adjustable like mine. At the awarding of the championship rings the following year, that’s what every player’s dream is, a world championship. I remember opening night in St. Louis, 1965, they’re presenting the rings and they threw mine out in left field. I found it and put it on. Nobody else got theirs thrown. They had to hand it to them (shrugs).

I set a lot of records. I never stole a base in the major leagues. I never attempted to steal a base in the major leagues. I showed up for every game, which I thought showed great team spirit. The ones I didn’t show up for, I always tried to catch on the radio.

Meeting (NBC Sports and Entertainment Chairman) Dick Ebersol a long time ago. Midnight Special. Saturday Night Live. All those shows through Richie I participated in. When he called me about wrestling, I didn’t really want to do it. I was doing baseball Spring training was when Wrestlemania III was going to take place in Detroit. I kept telling him no but he came out there and we finally agreed to do it, and it was one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life.

I remember going to Los Angeles to do the promotion stuff. It was Hulk Hogan, (Andre) the Giant, (Bobby) the Brain (Heenan), Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts, who coincidentally said, ‘Uke, why don’t you take a picture with Damian?’ I said, ‘Who’s Damian.’ He said, ‘He’s in the bag.’ I said, ‘So am I. Give me a couple more beers.’ So he took the snake out and I put him around me. He said, ‘Don’t worry. He’s big and he's strong.’ He got his tail around my leg and I’m holding him and I’m looking at Jake and he’s got this huge scar right here (on his chest). I said, ‘What is that?’ He said, ‘That’s where Damian bit me.’ I said, ‘Oh, what a great time that must be. I hope he bites me, too.’

I remember the one thing with Jake with Donald Trump’s wife, Ivana. He put that snake down at her feet and she left Wrestlemania so fast, she just left Donald there and she ain't seen him since, I guess.

We did the promotional stuff. I got to work with Mary Hart. Beautiful lady, great sport and all that. When we go to Detroit to do the show, I’m having the time of my life. And when the Giant came out and choked me, and let me go, I didn’t know he was going to do that. I really didn’t. I was supposed to talk about Vanna White. He didn’t care about Vanna White. He wanted to kill somebody. When he choked me and let me go, now if the camera stays on, you see me on top of Andre. Oh yeah. Vince McMahon was screaming, ‘Get off him. He’s got a match.’ I got him in a step-over toe hold, I don’t really know what it was. It wasn’t all Andre. I remember later on, when I was changing underwear (laughter)… I wasn't going to let that guy get away with that.

As I said earlier, some of the greatest times I’ve had in sports, entertainment, anything else, was to be around Richie, Vince McMahon and all these wrestling greats. The old-timers back there, back when I wrestled, I think got more interested in wrestling, when I was 8 or 9 years old, my mother started taking in wrestler’s laundry to make a couple extra bucks. I remember taking Dick ‘The Bruiser’s’ tights and putting them on. They were tight, nice. He came in the booth one day. I was doing play by play, imitating Dick ‘The Bruiser.’ (Gruff voice) Swing and a miss, struck him out. One day he came in and said, ‘Let’s see if you think you’re funny now.’ He was a football player with the Green Bay Packers, Dick ‘The Bruiser.’ All the wrestlers that came to Milwaukee in those years wrestled at the (indistinguishable) Hall. I started becoming a wrestling fan. I got a kick out of that. I still do today. Unbelievably strong, athletic. It reminds me of myself when I was younger.

When I look back, I was a right-handed-hitting, strikeout artist. Sooner or later, I was going to hit .200. It tied me with another sports great, Don Carter, one of our top bowlers. To have been a member of baseball team, to broadcast baseball today, to mess around with television shows and movies and all of this stuff, and tonight especially to be here with you. When I walked in here tonight and looked around, I said, ‘Man, this pace is jam packed.’ I know it will be tomorrow, too, for Wrestlemania. I'll be there, too.

Anyway, I wanted to thank you for your time tonight and patience. To all the members of the WWE, like I said before, great athletes, unbelievable entertainment. I don’t know how you guys do it, I really don’t All the body punches you take. That’s why I didn’t want to play and get hurt. Getting a hit once a month was OK. Hitting .200, that was OK. If you did more, they’d expect more of you. One hit a year, let’s leave it at that. Anyway, thank you very much for your time. Thank you."

Daniel Bryan: 'I am grateful', WWE retirement - 2016

8 February 2016, Seattle, USA

So - just now I was able to close my eyes, and feel that. Like literally feel it, in a way that I’ve never gotten to feel it before.

Because when we’re here we’ve always got to keep our eyes open.

But just that experience, literally I’m never going to forget it.

I’ve been wrestling since I was eighteen years old. And within the first five months of my wrestling career, I’d already had three concussions. And for years after that,  I would get a concussion here and there. Or here or there. And then it gets to the point when you’ve been wrestling for sixteen years, that um, that adds up to a lot of concussions.

And it gets to a point where they tell you that you can’t wrestle anymore.

And for a long time I fought that, because this, I have loved this in a way that I have never loved anything else.

[Crowd: Thank you Daniel! Thank you Daniel!]

But a week and a half ago, i took a test that said maybe my brain isn’t as okay as I thought it was.

And I have a family to think about. And it is with a heavier heart, and the utmost sadness, that I officially announcemy retirement.

But if there’s one thing -- so I’ve gone through all of these complex emotions in this last little bit -- I’ve been angry, I’ve been sad, I’ve been frustrated, I’ve been all of that.

But today, when I woke up this morning, I felt nothing but gratitude.

I have gotten to do what I love for nearly sixteen years.

I am grateful. I am grateful, because of wrestling, I got to meet the most wonderful woman in the world. Who’s beautiful, she’s smart, and she completes me in a way that I didn’t even think was possible.

And that’s because of wrestling.

I am grateful.

Now tomorrow morning - I start a new life. A life where I am no longer a wrestler.

But that is tomorrow, and that is not tonight.

And by damn I have one more night to feel this energy, and to feel this crowd, so if I could just get one last ‘Yes!’ chant, I would really appreciate it.

[Crowd: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!]

Michael Buffer: 'Let's get ready to rumble!', Starrcade 97 - 1997

28 December 1997, MCI Centre, Washington DC, USA

Tonight we are going to witness the most anticipated match in the history of professional wrestling. For the heavyweight championship of the world. Are you ready? Wrestling fans, are you rrrrrrrrrready? For the thousands in attendance. For the millions watching around the world. From the captial city of hte United States of America., Washington DC. Let's get to ready to rummmmmmmmbbbbbbleeee!

Jake 'The Snake' Roberts: 'A victim of your own greed, wallowing in the muck of avarice,' Wrestlemania VI - 1990

1 April, 1990, Skydome, Toronto, Canada

Jake "the Snake" Roberts' promo with Mean Gene Okerlund just prior to his match with "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase.

Well, well. The Million Dollar Man, Ted Dibiase. Here we are at Wrestlemania, and it's the biggest match of your career. Why? Because everything you stand for is on the line, mainly, the million dollar belt. Oh yeah, you see it can be yours once again. All you have to do is go through Damien, and Me. But you see, Damien and I don't forget, we remember all the times you made people grovel for your money. These were people far less fortunate than you, people who could use your money for essentials, and what did you do? You made fun of them. You humbled them and you humiliated them. Well, now it's my turn. I'm going to make you beg, Dibiase, you are going to get down on your hands and knees. This time, you'll be the one that's humbled. This time, you'll be the one that's humiliated, and this time, you will be the one that grovels for the money. And how appropriate, [laughs] that the money you grovel for is your very own. A victim of your own greed, wallowing in the muck of avarice.