Jodie Foster: 'Mike and Carol you won the bet!', Best Actress acceptance - 1991

July 20, 2026

30 March 1992, Dorothy Chandler Pavillion, Los Angeles, USA

This has been such an incredible year and I'd like to dedicate this award to all of the women who came before me who never had the chances that I've had, and the survivors and the pioneers and the outcasts and my blood, my tradition.

And I'd like to thank all of the people in this industry who have respected my choices and who have not been afraid of the power and the dignity that that entitled me to. And I'd like to thank Ted Talley and Thomas Harris, Jesse Cornbluth and everybody at Orion the way it used to be and the way it will always be in my heart.

John Douglas and everybody at Quantico, the incredible cast and crew of The Silence and the Lambs that Jonathan put together and of course the reason that I'm here, Anthony Hopkins quid pro quo doctor and my Guru Jonathan Demi, not just for his talent but for his goodness I promise you.

I'd like to thank my team of people the only people I talk to every single day, my agent and friend Joe Funicello, thank you, and Matt Saber Pat Kingsley. I'd like to thank my my family and my family of friends, the trusted ones, the circle, and most of all I'd like to thank my mother Brandy, my friend, the person who has loved me so much and so well that she taught me an inimitable little mandate fashion To Fly Away thank you.

And thank the academy for embracing such an incredibly strong and beautiful feminist hero that I am so proud of thank you very much. Mike and Carol you won the bet!

Fiona Apple: 'This world is bullshit', MTV Awards - 1997

August 16, 2024

4 September 1997, USA, Radio City Music Hall, New York, USA

Oh man, I didn't prepare a speech and I'm sorry but I'm glad I didn't because I'm not gonna do this like everybody else does it. 'Cause everybody that I should be thanking - I'm really sorry - but I have to use this time. See, Maya Angelou said that we, as human beings, at our best, can only create opportunities. And I'm gonna use this opportunity the way that I want to use it.

So, what I want to say is - um, everybody out there that's watching, everybody that's watching this world? This world is bullshit. And you shouldn’t model your life — wait a second — you shouldn’t model your life about what you think that we think is cool and what we’re wearing and what we’re saying and everything. Go with yourself. Go with yourself.

And there's just a few people that I want to say something to. I want to say, Mama, I love you I'm so glad that we're becoming friends. Amber, you're my sister, you're my best friend. Andrew Slater - no one else could have produced this album, and no one else did. Um...

And it's just stupid that I'm in this world, but you're all very cool to me so thank you very much. And I'm sorry for all the people that I didn't thank, but man...it's good. Bye.

Yuh-Juong Youn: 'I'm luckier than you!', Academy Award acceptance - 2021

April 28, 2021

26 April 2021, Los Angeles, USA

Mr. Brad Pitt, finally, nice to meet you. Where were you when we were filming in Tulsa? I’m very honored to meet you.

As you know, I’m from Korea and my name is Yuh-jung Youn. Most European people call me Yuh-youn, and some of them call me Yuh-jung. But tonight, you are all forgiven. Okay, let me pull myself together.

I don’t believe in competition. How could I win over Glenn Close? I’ve been watching her many performances.

All of my [fellow] five nominees, we’re winners for different movies, we play different roles,. Tonight, I just have a little bit luck, I think, maybe. I’m luckier than you. And also, maybe, it’s American hospitality for a Korean actor—I’m not sure.

I’d like to thank my two boys, who make me go out and work. This is the result, because mommy works so hard.

Source: https://www.wmagazine.com/culture/yuh-jung...

Spike Lee: 'Let's all mobilise, let's all be on right side of history', Academy Award acceptance - 2019

February 28, 2019

24 February 2019, Los Angeles, California, USA

The word today is “irony.” The date, the 24th. The month, February, which also happens to be the shortest month of the year, which also happens to be Black History month. The year, 2019. The year, 1619. History. Her story. 1619. 2019. 400 years.

Four hundred years. Our ancestors were stolen from Mother Africa and bought to Jamestown, Virginia, enslaved. Our ancestors worked the land from can’t see in the morning to can’t see at night. My grandmother, Zimmie Shelton Retha, who lived to be 100 years young, who was a Spelman College graduate even though her mother was a slave. My grandmother who saved 50 years of Social Security checks to put her first grandchild — she called me Spikie-poo — she put me through Morehouse College and NYU grad film. NYU!

Before the world tonight, I give praise to our ancestors who have built this country into what it is today along with the genocide of its native people. We all connect with our ancestors. We will have love and wisdom regained, we will regain our humanity. It will be a powerful moment. The 2020 presidential election is around the corner. Let’s all mobilize. Let’s all be on the right side of history. Make the moral choice between love versus hate. Let’s do the right thing! You know I had to get that in there.

Source: https://www.washingtonpost.com/arts-entert...

Jerry Seinfeld: 'All award shows are stupid,' HBO Comedian Award - 2007

March 4, 2017

2 April 2007, California, USA

At moments like this I would like to quote my good friend Carl Reiner, who has often said to me: “You don’t give awards to comedians”. First of all, comedians don’t need awards, awards are for people that are looking for work, we’re not looking for work. If you’re any good as a comedian, you’ve got tons of work. We’ve all got wrinkled suits and smelly shirts from packing and unpacking and schlepping all over the goddamn country doing 10 million different kinds of gigs.

And secondly and even more important is your whole career as a comedian is about making fun of pretentious, high minded, self-congratulatory B.S. events like this one. The whole feeling in this room of reverence and honoring is the exact opposite of everything I have wanted my life to be about. I – I – I really don’t want to be up here. I want to be in the back over there – somewhere over there saying something funny to somebody about what a crook this whole thing is.

And I don’t want to give you the wrong impression. I don’t want you to think that I’m not honored by this, because I’m, I feel very, very honored, and it’s – but it’s just that awards are stupid. Every real estate office has some framed, five-diamond president’s award thing by the desk, every hotel check-in has some gold circle service thing; every car salesman is a platinum jubilee winner. It’s all a big jerk off. It is, the hotel sucks, the real estate person is stupid, and the only thing the car salesman is good at is ripping you off.

And why? Because awards don’t mean a goddamn thing. It’s stupid, they’re all stupid. All of the award shows on TV. Honestly, it’s beyond me that we feel the need to set aside a night to give out these jaggoff bowling trophies six times a year, so all these people can pat each other on the back about how much money they’re making; boring the piss out of half the world. And if I hadn’t already won all these awards, I would not be talking like this.

(applause)

The truth is that the comedians should be the only one getting awards. We’re the only ones that have to actually think of something original and funny, and interesting to say, you know, how hard that is? Do you know how hard it was just to write what I’m saying to you right now? It was hard, this took a long time, but we can do it, we can do it.

(applause)

I’m just you know, sick of all these actors and you know, I don’t know why we’re so fascinated with actors in this culture. They haven’t got a thought in their stupid bed-head hairdo mini brains. Why are – we must honor this man, why? He pretended to be Bob Johnson. He is a genius, I tell you, it’s genius what he is doing, playing dress up and pretend is not genius ladies and gentleman, it’s not genius.

Roll the cameras, put on these clothes, stand there ready? Say what we told you to say! Fantastic, he did it! Give this man a huge golden trophy, he is a goddamn genius, walking down the red carpet in these ridiculous outfits like they are senators from Krypton, it’s just so stupid, but what can I do, I have to thank HBO, I have to.

All comedians, every, these three guys and me, oh, HBO, we owe them, that’s why they are here. You think these guys want to do this, they don’t want to do this, they owe. They gave me a one-hour HBO special, they were the first people that ever thought I should be on TV for more than six minutes. And I was introduced on that show by Carl Reiner.

And I don’t, you know, so that’s it, what can you say about it. And I’m very proud of this and it’s a thrill, I hope they do it again next year, this could be it, I don’t know. But this is a great, important, incredibly, you know, sweet thing and meaningful thing in my life. Thank you very much HBO and thank you all for coming.

Source: http://lybio.net/jerry-seinfeld-all-awards...

Lenny Henry: 'I could only have got here by standing on the shoulders of giants', MOBO Awards - 2015

November 9, 2015

4 November, 2015, MOBO Awards, First Direct Arena, Leeds, United Kingdom

Hello, whassup Leeds!

Thank you so much. Thank you MOBOs, music of black origin, an award ceremony just for black music. I feel like Ed Shearhan standing up here.

Listen, I could only have got here by standing on the shoulders of giants, and I’d like to give a shout out to some of these giants now ...

[list of names]

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e47iVbddPv...

Tony Wilson: 'Each Peach Pear Figs', Ode to CBCA shortlist - 2015

September 30, 2015

21 August, 2015, Melbourne Town Hall, Melbourne, Australia

What a day we have in store. Across the country we have nervous short-listees, hovered over the CBCA website, pressing refresh over and over with terrified hope. There are some in that category here at the Melbourne Town Hall, eyes glazed over, willing me to get on with it so that this wash of words may end, and their fates may be determined.

Well I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is that this wash of words will eventually end. The bad news is that in order to set the mood for all of us who aren’t on the short list, I’ve got a little CBCA awards inspired picture book manuscript I want to trial. They are plenty of publishers in the room, and I’m sure once they get an earful of this, it’s going to be mega four figure advances and whispered promises of up to 3.5% royalties! Bring on the underbidding war folks.

The title of this work is ‘Each Peach Pear Figs’ - and if I’m honest, it does have a progenitor somewhere out there in the children’s book world.

Each Peach Pear Figs

I spy Karen Briggs

Karen Briggs left and right

I spy Scary Night

Scary Night, Stephen King

Judith Rossell, Withering

By the sea, lovely Stella

I spy Trace Balla

Trace Balla’s Rivertime

I spy an easy rhyme

Easy rhyme coming atcha