3 August 2013, Minnesota, USA
[Series of thankyous]
Greg’s family has been so good to me, I’ve known Greg since 1996, which is how many years ago, seventeen? I’m not a mathematician. I was actually talking with Ben and Lexi, the cousins, and I was with Greg and I was saying I’ve known him since 1996, when I was ten years old, and Ben said, ‘yeah I was four’ and Lexi said, ‘yeah I was one’ and it was like, yeah, I get it, I’m not in college anymore, thanks for rubbing it in.
Thank you so much to the guests that are here. I know there are some here from Florida. Some people from Michigan, Virginia? Anyone from Minnesota? Thanks a lot for getting here. It’s a lot with the travel, but we do it for these two.
Thank you to the wedding party, the groomsmen, the bridesmaids, the true MVPs of tonight. And most importantly, thanks to Lynette and Greg. I guess we’re all here for you guys, it’s a big night, it’s a special night, everyone is here for you.
It’s a big honour to be Greg’s best man. I guess we met in 1996, we went to Blessed Trinity, any BT grads in the house? In # Minnesota. We were in fourth grade and myself [names friends] we were the top dogs in the playground. Not so much in the classroom but definitely in the playground. We were not scholars. AndGreg comes in, Greg was at Burroughs, public school kid coming into a private school, and everyone liked him. The girls liked him, a lot of the guys liked him, and I could not stand Greg. He walked in, and he was a little too confident, you know he’s coming into our playground, coming into my territory, trying to take my girls, and I wasn’t cool, I wasn’t cool with it.
And everyone liked him, everyone liked him. Like I said the girls did, the guys did, and I figured I better join forces. I’m not going to beat him, so I better join his team. So we met in a dark alley. I told him where to meet. I told him not bring anybody. I wanted to be one on one. Because I knew i could take him. So we met and shook hands and we made an agreement. And you know, we combined forces, and we built a dynasty. So myself Greg, Scott and Zac. It was really great ... so. [applause] Thank you.
So I was talking with Greg on the phone one day, and you know, we talk all the time, saying hey how’s your day going, and he says, yeah I’m pretty good, I took this girl Lynette out, and I said, ‘ok, tell me a bit about her,’ and he said ‘she went to [names colleges] and so I said, ‘ok clearly a smart girl’, and said ‘what does she do now?’ and he said ‘she’s a teacher, she’s a special education teacher, working with younger kids,’ I said, ‘ok, she’s got a heart, that great, that’s great.’ I said, ‘Ok, how does she look?’ and Greg said, ‘oh, she looks good man. She looks real good.’ And then I ask him the most important question, the question that I think every best friend, every best man should ask his best friend, when he starts seeing a girl. ‘Does she have a sister for me?’ And he said ‘no’ and I said, ‘you gotta cut it off! You gotta cut it off! This isn’t going to work. This isn’t going to work for us, we’re a team.’
Clearly, he never listens to me, he did the opposite to what I said, and I’m glad he did. I’m really glad he did. So like I said, it’s a great day, it’s a special time for the families, for the friends, but I guess most importantly we’re here for two people and that’s Greg and Lynette.
And so because it’s such a special day, I thought I’d write a poem. And I don’t, I don’t really write poems. The last poem I wrote was in fifth grade so – it was haiku. It was a haiku. And so, I thought I might brush off the poem skills, and see what we could do. The title of the poem is ‘Greg’s Most Embarrassing Moments ’96 to 2013’. I’m kidding. It’s actually called ‘My Brother’.
[To Greg] You good? Right. You’re giving me that look man!
August 3rd, 2013. Here we are on your wedding day.
On such an occasion I think it’s a must that we take a trip down memory lane.
We met in third grade, you were the new kid in school
The girls liked you immediately, they thought you were cool,
At first I was not, Greg’s biggest fan
But we spent more time together, and I realised he was the man
He’s really not, but it rhymes, so I had to make it work.
Greg was an only child, just like me
His dad’s name was Mike, and his mom Mary
His favourite team was the Packers, (Booo, Booo!)
That made me want to hurl
And his favourite band at the time, the one and only Spice Girls
The fact he liked the Packers, while friends laughed and jeered
And Greg knowing all the Spice Girls dance moves, was just plain weird
We got close fast, we created a wolf pack
The four of us together, Greg, Scott, Abe and Zac
Has anyone seen The Hangover? Does anybody remember Alan? Greg was our Alan. It was eerie how much he was like Alan.
Our friend would cause mischief, harmless little fun
Throwing water balloons at cars, and teepeeing on the run
I wanted Greg on my side, we made a killer team
And if angry parents ever chased us, they would catch him before me
Like most great friendships, there were some bumps and cracks,
But we kept looking forward, and never looked back
Greg was always in my corner, he pushed me to improve
And whenever I had doubt, he helped me fight through em
Not sure of the month, not sure of the day,
But at some point, something changed
No longer a friend that you see,
But so much more, a brother to me,
My brother all day, my brother all night
My brother tomorrow, my brother for life
Loyal, fun, popular, honest
The shorter, less-good-looking brother that I’ve always wanted.
Now here we are, on your wedding day
It’s time to party, to celebrate
You stand beside, your beautiful queen,
She’s smart, genuine, the opposite of mean,
And warm and caring and lovely and kind
How you pulled this off Gregors, really blows my mind.
Enough of this poem, you know that I care,
Just one last thing, that I’d like to share,
There will be times in your marriage, when you’ll be frustrated with Lynette
Just know that you can call me, if you ever need to vent
You’ll say she’s done this, you’ll say she’s out of line
Just know that I’ll be siding with Lynette, one hundred percent of the time.
You know I love you guys, this is a huge honour, this is major, everyone can raise your glass. To Mr and Mrs Gregory Manderfeld.
Love you guys.
