Nikhilesh Sharma: 'Love is good, but respect is more important', for Selen and Greg - 2022

23 October 2022, Sydney, Australia

My name is Nik and I'm one from Greg and Selen's friends from the climbing group. And they asked me to write this speech. And when they did, I literally had two thoughts in my head. First was like, this is such a great honour, right? They asked me to speak at their wedding. Holy shit, I must be the best man for this job. Clearly not. Patrick as we saw over there did a fantastic job. And the second thought was, 'maybe they don't have a lot of friends'. But I'm going to stick with the first thought, I was the best man for the job. This is why I'm here.

Crowd: Obviously!

Optimism is after three drinks.

So when I first started writing this speech a few days ago, I searched up a few wedding speeches on YouTube. That's where you get the best content. How do you write a wedding speech? Now, most of the speeches that I've found on YouTube involve making a lot of fun of the bride and the groom, I'll be honest, especially the groom. So I thought to myself, I can do something similar. I'm going to make fun of tehm both, I can do that. I can make fun of Greg. And the way he says 'is nice'. I love how you say it Greg. I think that's one one of your best qualities. The way you say it. And even I can say make fun of Selen, and the way her veganism goes about. She's the first vegan that I've seen who eats meat from time to time.

But I decided not to make fun of them, okay. My speech cannot be that shallow. It has to be much more meaningful. Because it can be my first and only wedding speech ever.

So I decided to make it a bit more meaningful. So here I'm standing in front of you all, to talk about one thing that we are celebrating tonight, which is love. And we are celebrating the love between these two beautiful people. And now when I was searching about love, Rumi is one of the greatest poets in all the church. Are any church people in the house? Yes. You all know about Rumi, right?

Crowd: Yes.

The poet, greatest poet of all time. And Rumi said about love, 'let the beauty of what you love be what you do'. That's pretty powerful. I'm going to just repeat that again to sink it in. 'Let the beauty of what you love be what you do.' So I really hope that you two will spend the love that you have together and spread it around the people that you have around you. So you take that love that you have for each other and you make sure you multiply it and give it to other people. And not just the people existing right now, but the people who are coming... soon into this world.

And so the ups and downs are part of the season of life we go through, no marriage or no relationship is going to be just for better brother. It is not going to be just fun, kisses and laughs. It's going to be tears, sadness, and the feeling of being distant from the other person from time to time, of course.

Crowd: No

Really? Sir, you should start a YouTube channel. But I'll be honest, I don't have a lot of experience in the department of love. So me preaching this and as a person in a relationship that just ended, I didn't think I should be up here preaching about love. But there's one thing that I've noticed when it comes to love. Love is good, but respect is more important.

Because respect, I think respect for me personally is one thing that makes us feel really valued and cared for and wanted. So we have to respect each other's space, and you have to respect each other's space, each other's shortcomings. You can't really go pick around, 'Hey, you did this and you did that.' You have to really put down your own self-interest for the other person. And that is what respect is. Respect then equals love. And I know that you both come from different backgrounds and different faiths and you might have different families that think slightly differently. We all know how much we love the inlaws. Inlaws can be tricky, right. But it all goes down to one united factor that is respect for the other person. And I'm very hopeful, and I can say this with sincerity, that you'll have respect for each other throughout your life.

The next big thing that I wanted to talk is the bun in the oven that we have here today. Milan, who's going to be coming out into this world..

And it is an exciting and an interesting time to be bringing a boy into this world. The other day I was at a train station and this guy just caught me up and this random person and he is like, he's like, 'I don't think people should be having kids anymore'. That was a bold statement to come up to a stranger and just say to stranger. I'm not even having a kid, but yeah, sure. I'm like, 'why?' And he's like, ‘it's not a good place for kids to be in.' And I can see his perspective. It's a bad world out there. But I think it all depends on what we really want to teach our kids. And what you guys will teach Milan. Now, there's many conundrums that you can face, right? Milan can come up to you and he like, 'actually I don't want to open an account in Commonwealth Bank.' 'I want to go to Westpac. What are going to do then?' And what if he comes up to you and say, 'I want to be a bowler ... Greg would say that it's a crime to be a bowler. What if Milan comes up and says, 'I want to be a bowler'. What if Selen, what if he comes up to you and says, 'Hey mum, I don't like baclava. He can! Hee can say ‘it's too sweet’. You never know. Kids will make their own choices. And Greg, what happens if he comes up to you and says, 'Dad I don't think the Hungarian football team will ever have a chance at winning the World Cup.' What would you say back?

He can say a lot of things. He can say, 'Hey, I don't want to work in IT' He can say that. And he's allowed to. You see, kids are allowed to make their own choices. And I think the choices that really matter in life are actually the choice that he will make -- will he have compassion towards the people that we in society look down upon? Will he have kindness in the heart of people that has wronged him? And will he have humility even when he reaches the pinnacle of life?

Now these are the choices that really matter and I know that you will instil these values in him and he will become a great human being, because he has great parents.

[Applause]

Crowd: Also. hell have a cool accent, I'm pretty sure.

He'll have a best accent in the world for sure. Look, I'm just going to conclude , this page is empty so ... , I'm just going to conclude this speech and say that it's an honour to be a part of this celebration, which is this celebration of love that you two have, and the fact that you're bringing a beautiful human being into the world.

So what was the Hungarian word of cheers?

Crowd: Egészségére!

(08:42)

To the bride and the groom

For Alexi & Ellie: 'Once Alexi finds something he loves, he fully embraces it into his life', by Daniel Wearne - 2023

3 February 2022, Wattle Grove, Tasmania, Australia

Hi I’m Dan – I didn’t grow up with Alexi, or Lek as I call him. We actually met 10 years ago through a religious movement at the time – Crossfit. We were the same age and had similar interests; He was always the last one still laughing at my Simpsons references and we loved quoting esoteric scenes from tacky 90s flicks.

When we trained together most days, the differences between us were easy to spot. He had remarkably long arms, a distinct toe-out walking gait, and I enjoyed guessing which of his eight outfits on rotation I would see next. I was the tattooed, always late to class, rough boy from Frankston, and Lek was the buttoned-up, meticulously neat athlete who rarely had a hair out of place. All his plates symmetrically stacked next to his platform – it was clear his belief system was anchored not to the crossfit methodology, but to his passion for routine.

This passion is easy to identify in Alexi when things diverge: an item misplaced; not having a meal at a specific time; running late for an event; or even being asked to do something outside his comfort zone. This is something that really resonates with me when I think of Lek, his gravitation towards routine.

Once Alexi finds something he likes or loves, he fully embraces it into his life.

It wasn’t long before Lek and I were hanging out very regularly; we quickly became best mates. Lek often enjoyed chauffeuring us around, so I recall many conversations we had in that White Honda. The infamous cassette-adapter-iPod situation powering the tunes as we would discuss anything and everything. Initially surface level topics; lots of sport and general banter, and then as the walls came down some of the more serious subject matter would surface. I’ve learned there is an unusual depth to Alexi. He is profoundly empathetic and listens with genuine curiosity. He invests so much in what’s on your mind and how you’re feeling about something.

You feel like he fully embraces you into his life.

When Lek was questioned about his dating life, he was coy; but behind his playful answers and deflection, I sensed real sorrow and loneliness. Lek was wondering where, when and how he would meet his soulmate.

In November 2015, The Annual Schwartz Challenge was taking place; Australia’s premier crossfit competition. It was an all-weekend event held in Altona, outer Melbourne, so Lek and I would carpool over. Lek’s days as a serious competitor were behind him at this point but, dedicated to the art, and being the stand-up guy that he is, he volunteered to MC the event.

Meanwhile in a remote township named Brisbane there was a girl named Ellie. An avid crossfitter too, she was seeking updates on how the athletes from her gym were performing at this event via Instagram. This is when she serendipitously came across a photo of the most handsome, tanned and ripped Annual Schwartz Challenge MC she had ever laid eyes on. Double tap.

Lek was particularly quiet on the drive over the Westgate Bridge that final day of the comp—Not ‘gloomy’ quiet. More of his famous head-shaking perplexed moods. “Missss Newman” he would utter under his breath as he was scrolling the profile of his latest photo like. Out the corner of my eye I noticed a lot of pinch zooming and enthusiastic nodding. It wasn’t long before they were sending flirty messages to each other and overusing emojis. This was an exciting development at the time. Ellie is the only person I’ve seen captivate him like this. A couple weeks had passed and Lek very matter-of-factly dropped the bomb that he and Miss underscore Newman were calling each other most nights. And only a month later in December, Lek decided to fly up to Brisbane to verify if he had been catfished.

On Friday the 4th of December, Alexi landed at Brisbane airport to a cautiously optimistic Ellie. Ellie has since confided that day she couldn’t believe he was real—pinching not herself but him the entire drive from the airport. They were never beyond a few meters from each other the entire weekend. And while the anxious voice inside Ellie’s head was wondering if she was going to see this Adonis again, Lek was not even home from the trip before booking his next flight back to Brisbane.

Once Alexi finds something he loves, he fully embraces it into his life.

 ‘How’d it go Lek?!’ I interrogated him as soon as he returned home. I can only describe Lek’s presence after that weekend as that of someone who had just found their soulmate; a confident glow that said ‘life starts now’. And what followed over the years was a steady progression of decisions and commitments from each other to integrate their lives.

Ellie flew down for the first time that following January to cheer along Lek swimming in the Portsea Classic, a routine event in his rigid calendar. She was boldly representing her home town in a fluro orange dress – which might have been the literal highlight of the night had Alexi not confessed his love for her at Portsea hotel that evening. They did long distance for two years, and Ellie - who is extremely close with her family and friends up north, and with a budding career ready to commence after completing her doctorate - decided to sacrifice it all and move down to Melbourne to be with Alexi.

It was a rocky start. Lek incorrectly assumed that given they had chosen Melbourne's coldest month to make the move, that a functional yet unromantic gift – such as a Northface jacket – would be well received. But Ellie is resilient – so after crying into the feather-downed sleeves of the Worst Present Ever™for 3 months straight – she started to come around to Melbourne; learned to love its quirks and fully embraced it into her life. She’s been with us ever since, and the rest as they say is history.

Ellie, on behalf of everyone of us that have loved having Alexi around for the last 7 years, I want to say thank you for giving up so much and we love you so dearly. You were so clearly the missing piece in Alexi’s life, and if it wasn’t for that thirsty like on Instagram, we wouldn’t have had the privilege of embracing you into our lives and witnessing our beloved Lekki become whole.

So if you’d charge your glasses, I would like to make a toast – To the amazing love story of Ellie and Aleix, we can’t wait to see the next chapters.

Ed: 'And on a side note, if there are any single ladies here tonight', for Joe and Molly - 2008

May 2008, Pittsburgh, USA

Good evening everyone.

Anybody nervous?

My name is Ed Clarke. And I was lucky enough that Joe chose me to be his best man. On behalf of these newlyweds, I’d like to thank everyone for being here today. I’d like to thank the parents, Mr and Mrs Seafort, and Mr and Mrs. Dick, because without them I’d probably be doing this speech in a # park right now.

Specifically I’d like to thank Bev, for the daily lectures the past three months, on not screwing this speech up.

And I’d also like to thank the bridesmaids for looking so good tonight.

I’ve known Joe for a pretty long time now.

It all started out, one summer afternoon before our fourth grade. We were playing some football in the front yard with some neighbourhood kids, and unfortunately that day Joe wasn’t on my team.

And I say this because Joe was a really big guy.

Before the game was over I must have made Joe pretty mad, cos he hit me from behind, knocked me over my brick wall, face first on my concrete porch.

He did this all in front of my father.

That day would soon be known as ‘the day Joe Dick was banned from my house for life’.

Needless to say that ban didn’t last very long. Needless Because over the years, whether it was growing up in Bathal or going off to IUP , living together freshman year, which I vowed never to do again, to living together again senior year, to graduation, and off to Pittsburgh to start our careers.

This is generally the point in the best man speech, where the best man would humiliate the groom with drunken stories of craziness.

Unfortunately at IUP, when Joe was out getting drunk and crazy, I was in the library.

And after graduation, when Joe was down the south side getting drunk and crazy, I was working late.

So I can’t help you with those stories of humiliation, but I think these guys to my left, if you really want one, they can tell you about it later.

One thing I can tell you about Joe is this.

I don’t have a person in the world, that I would call before Joe. Because he is always there for you when you really need it.

And I‘ve needed it a few times.

And that’s why I have no doubt that Joe’s gonna make a terrific husband, and Molly, you made an excellent choice.

Speaking of Molly, I remember when Joe and Molly first started seeing each other, I got a call from Joe that said, ‘hey Ed, I’m seeing this new girl, I want you to come down and meet her’.

Now I don’t know if it’s a guy thing, or just me and my friends, but there’s a rule that you actually can’t like somebody that you’re buddy is dating.

So I went down, walked to the sports bar down in the strip district, ... sports rock ... thanks Tony ... give it up for Tony ... so I walk in and see Joe, he says ‘come in I want to introduce you to Molly.’ I think at the time Molly was talking to a couple of her friends. Walked over, Molly introduced herself to me, and I thought, ‘wow she’s hot!’ But my second thought was ... I wonder what’s wrong with her.

Well over the next several months, whether it was hanging out at Joe’s house, or going over to the bars, or late night Sheetz runs for NTOs, I found out that not only is Molly a beautiful woman, but she’s a great person.

And anyone who can put up with Joe for this long, gets my blessing.

Now for those of you who know me, I enjoy my singlehood. But looking at these two, and not just today because everyone should look happy and great at their wedding, but whether it’s hung over on Sunday morning, those two sitting on the couch in their sweat pants, I can tell how much they mean to each other, how much they enjoy each other’s company, how much they love each other.

And that gives me hope.

That wasn’t supposed to be funny.

Hope that one day I too can find someone special.

And on a side note, if there are any single ladies here tonight, that would like to give me a jump start on finding someone special, I can be found near the bar after dinner.

But in all seriousness, before Bev cuts me off,

Bev - And I’m ready to

To Joe and Molly, and the two of you have a lifetime of happiness together. The best is yet to come.

I love you guys.

Raj: 'He took my hand and said, 'Hello chocolate man!', for Jon and Katie - 2006

Uploaded August 2006, United Kingdom

Firstly I’d like to thank John for his kind words on behalf of the bridesmaids.

I’m sure they’ll thank you personally later.

I’m sure you’ll agree, they look absolutely gorgeous.

Ladies and gentlemen, every now and then we get such a rare opportunity to speak about a man who is witty, charming, intelligent and good looking.

Although I really shouldn’t talk about myself because this speech is about Jon.

I’m sure you’ll agree it’s been a fantastic day so far.

But unfortunately, every single lining has a cloud, and that comes in the form of me.

For those of you who don’t know me ,  my name is Raj and I’ve known Jon for well over twenty years. Since we met one fateful day at primary school.

I approached him in the corridor, held out my hand and said hi.

He took my hand in turn, and said, ‘Hello chocolate man!’

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Jon for asking me to be his best man here today. It really  is an honour to be asked and a pleasure to fulfil this role.

And for him to be finally admitting after all these years that I actually am the best man.

I do have to tell you here today that I am actually rather nervous which is very uncharacteristic of me. Just to put it in perspective how nervous I am. This is the fifth time I’ve risen from a warm seat to put a piece of paper in my hand.

It’s a bit graphic. For later maybe.

Jon wasa bit worried about the speech. He was under the strange impression that I might give his in laws the wrong impression about him somehow, or reveal some facts that he’d rather remain hidden.

So he gave me a list of some subjects he’d rather not mentioned.

I’ve got them here.

Paros 98. Tenner Reef 99. Rankin area 03. Rankin area 04. Rankin Area 05. At sea the village mule, English produce. Guy Forget. So you get the idea, I’ve got a short list ... [long list rolls out]

Part transcript