Kate for Conrad: 'I continue to see that fire every single day' - 2020

30 August 2014, Toronto, Canada

Today is the fourth Saturday in August, 2014. And I would like to take you back to exactly, to the day, 10 years ago, tonight.

The fourth Saturday in August, 2004,

It was Joe nightclub.

The 'it' spot at the corner of John and Richmond in the heart of Toronto's clubbing district. After one of our group's typical Saturday night, pre-drinks at Roger and Fifth's house. I found myself in the club's first floor dance floor. I remember distinctly Greg Jack and Rich were dancing to my left. Casey was doing her notorious two step bar move to my right, but I was really distracted. The, the elusive friend of this group, this Con kept catching my eye. I vividly remember him standing there. He was clothed in his favourite bar look at the time, which was bowling shoes from Aldo. Ripped and just slightly flared, light coloured jeans. And an open dress shirt that was too big, unbuttoned too far and untucked. Oh, and if few 'Live strong' bracelets on.

I noticed at the pre-drink that he was a little bit more chatty than usual. And here he was again, slowly creeping closer on the dance floor. Before I knew it. we were dancing and the rest of the group had gone upstairs. Soon. Dad, my young 19 year old self was pinned up against the walls of Joe nightclub. And so follows the story of our first kiss.

If Con has ever tried, or ever tries to tell you this story differently, I promise you he is lying.

Con and I have not been together since that night at Joe nightclub. While I spent a decent amount of time obsessing over him after that first night. For some reason, it took him a little while. However, this dynamic was never that obvious to me until I recently pulled up some old MSN history:

"November 1st, 2005, 8:50 PM. KT: Hey, your Halloween costume was hilarious last night.

8:57 PM. KT: It looked like so much fun.

<laugh>

9.15: Okay. Have a great night. TTYL

I was bold and I initiated our next chat:

 November 12th, 2005, 12:45 PM: Hey Con.

KT. I saw the picks from last night!

There were no pictures. I didn't see anything. CCM decides to respond three hours later. I, I remember running to my computer when I heard the little like 'uhoh' or whatever it was. <laugh>

His response: Ha! BRB.

Once we got past the hurdle of Con playing it just a little bit too cool, we have somehow always found our way back to each other. It has never mattered where our different paths have taken us. It has seemed like it has never been an option for us not to be together. Since the early days of our meeting, there really has been a magnet between the two of us. Everyone has their own love story, but for me, what's been so amazing about ours is that there's just been something between us that's impossible to describe. There's a feeling that I have to be around you.

I'm good [crying]

Um, I can't explain it, but I can feel it and I always have. You do something to me. And for me, that is our love story. Your mom always talks about the fire that's been inside of you since you were a little boy. And I continue to see that fire every single day. You constantly surprise me with your nonstop determination to drive forward and to never settle . From a hockey player, to an MBA grad, to a banker, to a saxophone player, You can literally accomplish anything that you put your mind to.

One of my favourite quotes reads: "you can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him". And if that holds true, Con you have the most incredible character. You always see the best in people. You see intentions and actions through a positive lens. You have more integrity than anybody I've ever met, and see things as right and wrong. Your heart is always in the best place. Your happiest when people you love experience success, finding such genuine pleasure in seeing those you care about do well through the way you live your life. You provide me with everyday reminders that all that's important in life is here in this room.

There is nobody who can make me laugh for a whole night straight, who knows me at my core better. Who makes me feel the most comforted in their presence, who enables me to find pleasure in everyday things simply because we are together.

And so, to my gorgeous husband, there's no one on this earth. I would've rather been waiting for me at that end of that aisle today, whatever life has in store for us, I will always be beside you and on your side.

Laura Lexx: 'You are not a rock. You are more of a mattress' - 2016

April 2016, United Kingdom

I didn't trust myself that I'd be able to do this at all. So I've given him a list of things that I needed to say on the grounds that he has proven to be a much less moist public speaker.

Socially moist.

So there are just two people that I have to speak to myself.

To my sister, Sarah.

[Title … blah blah people cried]

And to my husband ... and when I started thinking about what I should say to you, I thought I might describe you as my rock, but the more that word sat there on the page, the less suitable it seemed for you.

Rocks are hard and cold and unmoving and you are none of those things. You are not a rock. You are more of a mattress ... and that's not just because I've had some of the best times of my life .... . You are warm, you are inviting, you are the centre of my home, you are my solace ... and very hard to get out of a house without help.

For Rachel: 'For the person who made me believe that anything is possible', Groom toast - 2022

One of the best speeches I’ve witnessed btw 👍🏼😂😂

Someone get this to Ange 🍀 pic.twitter.com/OsZF3OcvYU

— beans (@fatboybeans1) June 15, 2022

11 June 2022, Scotland, United Kingdom

I want to raise a toast to one who makes me happy every time I see the face.

She’s not even looking at me!

The person who reminds me to appreciate a lot things in life, and made me believe that anything is possible.

You have truly turned my life around in such a short space of time, and I love you for it.

I would highly recommend that you all find someone who makes you feel the way that I do.

So I would very much appreciate it, if you could all raise a glass …

To Big Ange Postecoglou!

To Ange!

Sorry, sorry.

I wasn’t sure how that would go down, but, you know, I’m happy with that.

Suzette Wearne: 'May your smoke alarm batteries be strong', for Phil Wearne and Rachel Thomas - 2018

22 March 2018, Parlour, Canberra, Australia

We never thought that Phil would meet some just as wonderful and accomplished as him and when it happened, he and Rach became one hell of a couple, two of the most complementary personalities you’re likely to meet. One is sensitive, emotional, loves romantic dinner dates and dancing around the lounge room singing into a hairbrush. And then there's Rach. The brains of the outfit, Rach’s exacting standards can be witnessed in her leadership role in no less than the department of Prime Minister and Cabinet and, even more impressively, when she’s trying to find the most drinkable cab sauv … available at Aldi ... for under $8.

Rach is beautiful, but that's not the point. After introducing her to the family for the first time, Phil took me aside and said ‘Don’t be fooled by the lovely facade, she takes no prisoners when something goes wrong with her restaurant order.’ He was of course exaggerating her no-nonsenseness. Rach is compassionate and thoughtful and generous, a true beauty inside and out.

So where did our power-couple begin? Early in 2012 I got a group email from Phil. It read:

Hi guys. It’s been confirmed that I'm to fly to Canberra on Monday to enjoy a secondment to the Federal Education Department to work on a project of national significance; the implementation of the Gonski Education Review.

To be invited onto this taskforce represents a wonderful opportunity. As I see it, this is recognition of the work I have put in recently to improve myself as a consultant and to develop my knowledge of education policy.

I wrote back:

Dear Phil, You are the biggest geek in the world. Seriously though, congratulations. With you on board, I'm sure Gonski will be done and dusted in no time.

Back then none of us knew that Phil was about to leave Melbourne and begin perhaps the biggest chapter of his life in Canberra. Phil has always been the heart and soul of his family and it was, to me at least, unthinkable that Phil would be more than a bike ride away.

Gonski was a ruse. We now know that Phil's main motivation for relocating to Canberra was to find a life partner who met a number of specific criteria. She had to be an ANU graduate. She had to share his staunchly moderate political views. She had to be able to tour the world if his side-hustle as DJ Beat Taskforce ever took right off. She had to be willing to participate in long-weekend holidays with his family and their partners, and in most instances, single-handedly organise these holidays. She had to be completely agreeable and she had to have naturally voluminous head of hair.

Mission accomplished. And may I say if there were a sister-in-law shop, you would choose Rachel without a moment's hesitation. On literally any subject, Rach is an excellent conversationalist — a veritable Leigh Sales to my Annabelle Crabb. By that I mean she brings the intellectual gravitas and I bring the scones. Rach is super fun. Just ask my Dad, who adored her from their first rollicking chat about Australia’s reporting obligations under ratified international labour standards.

The other day Dad was watching one of his grandkids playing with a plastic shape sorter and he said fondly 'Phil was good at that when he was a baby'. Ugh I thought, and I remembered what it was like growing up with an older brother as smart as Phil, and who brought home straight–A report cards without even trying. Annoying basically. There was no such thing as an enjoyable game of cards between us because Phil is an inveterate mathematician where I am not. Phil would routinely wipe the floor with me. In turn I would accuse him of brazenly cheating by using his memory, strategy and intelligence.

I want to finish with a memory about Phil and hope that it serves as a cautionary tale. Because while Phil was the golden child in our family, excellent at sport, excellent academically, musically gifted, a great storyteller, funny, kind, etc. If/when we hear the pitter-patter of little footsteps, they should know that nobody likes an overachiever. Even God will show his annoyance eventually. Many years ago, something happened at our childhood home which left us questioning what we knew about right and wrong. Not one of us was the same afterwards.

Phil was about 17 and looking after his brother Dan and cousin Ace both 8 or 9. Phil was indoctrinating Dan and Ace on an ancient martial art. Ok they were watching a Jean Claude Van Damme film. Halfway through, Phil paused the VHS and kickboxed his way to the kitchen to cook some hot chips. He peeled and sliced potatoes in perfect lengths and placed a saucepan of vegetable oil on the gas stove.

In the lounge 'No Retreat No Surrender' resumed.

Forty minutes passed. Smoke drifted across the tele. Phil leapt from the couch and hurtled towards the kitchen. It was too late. The range hood and surrounding cupboards were engulfed in flames and fire licked the ceiling. Standing at a safe distance from the fire, Phil looked upon it in shock. Dan and Ace hopped from one foot to the other, exhilarated. Eventually the inferno subsided and the damage was contained. While the smoke was thick throughout the house, one thing was clear. Phil was in deep shit.

A decades–long career as favourite child up in smoke. So sad…

I think he was grounded a week and Mum got the shiny new kitchen she always wanted so order was restored to the universe pretty quickly.

On that incendiary note I ask that you charge your glasses for a toast. To our dear Phil and Rach. Thank you for inviting us all to be here on this special day. I hope the story of your lives together is a long one full of laughter and adventure and frequent trips to Melbourne. May your smoke alarm batteries be strong. May you continue to provide the stability that is the bedrock of your relationship and may your love and admiration for each other remain as true as it is today.

Renny: 'Welcome to my best man's day', for James and Louise - 2012

2012

Casey: 'Okay, Casey, this is it', for Bobby and Jennifer - 2011

2011, USA

voiceover subconscience

Okay, Casey, this is it. The best man toast. This is definitely my conscience. Wooooooooh! [echos] Oh yeah. That was awesome. Holy crap there's a lot of people here. Okay. Calm down. This is easy. Just picture everyone in their underwear.  Nice girl with the thong! Why is everybody staring at me? Oh yeah, the best man's toast. Oh yeah. Where'd I put that paper? Here it is [gets out speech]. I intend to thank myself for this one man ... [?] Okay Casey, just like we practiced it, sat in front of the mirror, in the shower, damn that's a great ass, knock it off ... just tell the newlyweds how you feel ...

Bobby and Jen, I love both of you guys with all my heart. This is a great occasion. Let's party!

Julian Schiller: 'On behalf of all your friends here tonight, we’re honoured to be part of your family' for Kate Langbroek and Peter Lewis - 2003

5 April 2003, Mount Buffalo, Victoria, Australia

In this beautiful mountain-top. I remember when Kate and Pete were discussing the location for their wedding, Kate’s wanted somewhere beautiful for romance and Pete wanted somewhere high altitude, as we all get pissed a lot quicker and it saves on grog.

No it’s a really stunning place Mount Buffalo....so quiet and secluded... enjoy it while you can Pete as it’s probably the last moment of peace you’ll ever experience. 

It really came as a great surprise when I was asked to MC the marriage of Kate and Pete, mostly because so many people had dropped out before me, but I consider it a great honour. I have known them as a couple and also as individuals...and love them both...and I feel very privileged to be able to share this moment with them.

Kate and Pete met while travelling through Asia, which, having been “embedded” them on a few overseas trips myself, I think is quite poetic.

In many ways the way a couple travels together, is a good indication on how they’ll cope with life together, and Kate and Pete travel with a great sense of adventure, a tremendous respect and warmth for the people they encounter, and most of all a profound love for each other. While I’ve been overseas with them I’ve always been impressed by their remarkable energy, their generosity, and the constant stream of shit-box hotels they choose to stay in.

I met Kate in 1994 at RRR when I was contributing to the Breakfast Show. Before Kate began on RRR the breakfast show was a highly successful team, after she started we were a family. The energy and talent that became evident during those years owed a lot to the remarkable influence of Kate, she cared about us, took an interest in our lives, often broke our balls, but generated this tremendous spirit that still exists between us all today. 

Kate’s friends are tremendously important to her. If you had a birthday Kate would be there. If you were depressed Kate would be there, if you owed her money, Kate would be there....remarkable. Kate has been a friend in every sense of the word to me over the last decade. She’s been supportive when I’ve been down, given very wise advice on everything from my career, relationships and dress sense, she’s acted in pilots for us for nothing, been to every show we’ve ever done, and always been there to celebrate milestones in my life. And I’m sure many others of us here would have similar stories.

You can never just be a work-mate of Kate’s, she cares too deeply about people to be that flippant, you’re part of Kate’s family, which is why we’re all gathered here tonight. 

I met Pete through Kate, and we soon became close friends and have remained so ever since. Both through the time when he and Kate weren’t together, and even when moved into a house with a girl who talked about freezing sperm in the ice-box.

Having gotten to know Pete, can I just say that he’s a sensitive, gentle, beautiful person....at least I thought he was until he picked up a guitar.

I think the thing that struck me first about Pete was his really quick and clever wit. When you get paid to be funny you are sometimes shamed to meet people who are just as funny if not more, with Pete however I soon got over that shame and learnt to steal many of his jokes and broadcast them as my own however.

Pete, like Kate, also has a great family of friends around him, they’re great,  I’ve met many of them, and again stolen their jokes.

And now of course Kate and Pete are beginning life together and starting a family of their own. A family that will become the core of the already extended family, us, who they have invited along tonight. And can I just say Kate and Pete, on behalf of all your friends here tonight, we’re honoured to be part of your family, we can’t wait to be there while you begin your own. Thanks for all the love you’ve shown us over the years...  congrats....

Brendon James: 'He has made you into a human being', for best friend Jodie and Jorge - 2012

Uploaded YouTube, 2012

For those of you that don't know me, from Jorge's family, my name is Brendon James, and I am the best friend of Jodi Ray Juan Fernandez, and her one and true maid of honour! One and true. This is not (?).

You know, like, to prepare for this toast, I talked to Jorge a couple weeks ago and asked him. I go, 'When was the moment that you knew that Jodi was the woman that you would chase down no matter what, or how many times she would refuse you. How did you know she was the one to persue?' And he said it was the first time, was it the first time you played together? (Jorge: Yeah)

It was the first time that they played together, and he used one of the smoothest lines in the books, he said, 'Hey, I forgot my guitar pick. Do you happen to have a guitar pick with you?', and Jodie, she reaches into her purse and pulls out like seven, and goes, 'Yeah, here's one.'

And Jorge, he says 'when I touched her hand it felt so soft, it felt downie-soft, it felt like the wings of angels were upon me, it felt like God himself reached down and grabbed the tears of every baby child and injected into my heart. That's how it felt.' He said 'it felt like Zoe Deschanel was singing karaoke. He said it felt like I was in an elevator alone with Ryan Gosling and he pulls me towards him and kisses me, the lights glow, everything dims, and he turns around and proceeds to kill a man who has been hired to kill me.' That's what he told me. He's very poetic. Did you guys know? He's great with metaphors.

And you know, and me, being like very true, I asked Jodi. I go 'Jodi, on that day, in that magical moment, where you changed Jorge's life forever, what did you feel when he touched your hand?' And she took a deep breath, she paused and she looked me in the eye and said, 'Well I was sick, I didn't even notice.'

Oh, I'm just getting' started. Here's the thing, If you know Jodi, you've heard it. Jodi is so cold she's got ice in her veins. Blood in her eyes. Everyone here, turn.  You guys are all sitting on chairs, turn and hug your chair. Hug your chair just a little. That's how it feels to be hugged by Jodi. There's no life, no empathy, no sympathy, no remorse, no emotion, no care, no love, no feeling... (film is cut here)... And after tonight, she will remember 'most' of you.

And so it wasn't until I, believe this or not, became a youth leader at church and she became the music ministry leader, -- around that time we became close to each other. So close, that in fact when she graduated from high school she moved to LA to go to this school, known as Cal. State University Northridge, AKA The Worst School of All Time. Am I right CSUB? Ah, and when she started going to school there, me, not knowing what to do with my life at the time - some of you are familiar with this feeling, some of you are there right now -- I went and followed suit, and I started my glorious career, working graveyard at Chevron.

And look I wasn't Jodi's only room mate, and I wasn't the only one working at Chevron. Mr Michael Neil Lepien, will you stand up and take a bow. This man, believe me, in his younger days, looked liked Rufio from Hook. This man was handsome. He's advanced 250 pounds 5 times, he's beautiful.

And we lived with Jodi. And it was amazing. We loved Jodi so much, she'd come home from school, and we'd be playing video games and we could hear her opening up the door and we be like 'Oh my god, Yodi's home, Yodi's here, Yodi!'

We'd come to the door, 'here, I'll grab your jacket for you' and he'd say'I'll grab your backpack for you,'.

She didn't know how to react to this. At first, we used to call her 'Chodie'. Until she found out what a chode was. So we changed it. We did a lot of things together. We'd go to Costco together. Jodi would buy wings so she could make her specialty wings, I would buy some sausages. Michael Niel Lepien, AKA 'Nipple', Nipple would buy sausages too. We loved sausages. And we'd have a chicken, sausage and sausage fest.

Where we'd get together, and you know what living together (sic), that was the first time, I'm sorry, that was the first time I had a girlfriend, it was while I was living with Jodi that this word appeared. It's this wonderful lady named Kirsten. Kirsten Crook. From a place called Smallville. And she would come every ah, what Wednesday, Thursday night? I don't remember. Tuesday night, I don't even know. 'Cos I don't care about it any more, she cheated on me with some guy named Kal El. I don't know if you guys know what I'm talkin about.

But we lived together, we loved each other, it was the best times in the world, until Nipple betrayed us and moved away. In all those times I'd go with Jodi to buffets, restaurants and we'd eat. We'd go to beaches, we'd go to Malibu, we'd go to Pepperdine University, we'd go to different churches, and some of you here, through those weird trips, is how you met, not only Jodi, but I myself. And we just went everywhere together.

And during this time, she became a woman. She learned to pluck. She knew how to put on some lip gloss and be popular. She knew how to wax. She learned to shave -- everything. And she became beautiful. She went from tea cups at Disneyland, to tea cups at Magic Mountain, you guys know what I'm talkin' about? And it was during this time that she just looked like, and she became this woman that looks like Megan Bier's younger sister, that I thought to myself, 'Man. If I can't find an amazing and beautiful woman that I love, I wouldn't mind settling for Jodi. She'd make a beautiful and wonderful back-up plan.' It was amazing. She's a wonderful woman, she's great, she's spectacular.

And then Jorge came. And he ruined this. So you gotta understand, I didn't like Jorge. In fact I don't like him now. But, dammit I respect you. You lucky son-of-a...

And let me tell you why I respect Jorge, let me get next to him, so he can punch me after I'm done.

I respect him, because he put up with disgusting Filipino tux which I probably could not do, and I am Filipino. He put up, no I really don't wanna say 'put up', he's been made..., this ring, this whole wedding, this ceremony, this is just for show. He's been married to her for years. And if you've ever saw how he treats her, you know what the hell I'm talking about. This man treats this woman like he loves this woman, and I know a lotta guys who say they love their woman and don't treat them like they love them. But this man treats her like he loves her, because he does, and he's not afraid to show it. Oh believe me! ...oh stop.

But he didn't just marry her, he married us. And you guys know what I'm talking about. I know plenty of guys who would take the woman and just keep them to themselves and never let the girl go out. He let her have her freedom, he never took anything away from her. He added himself into the equation, you understand? And he got to know us.

He became close to my brother, who's one of the most conceited and self-centred man that I've ever met. He thinks he's a king. He is not the king. Umberto is the king.

He befriended Boney, who is a jerk. He thinks that 9/11 was a conspiracy! He doesn't believe in Obamacare. What the?

And you know he befriended Tim, Timmy boy. Who agrees with everything. No matter how negative it is. He will agree with you.

He's a very positive man. But more than that, you know, he married the women in Jodi's family. Who are absolutely crazy. Who are absolutely bi-polar and loud. Here look, Johad, Gilbert, they're married to the family, they know what I'm talkin about! They crazy! These women are insane.

And he took the time to get to know them, to get to know all of Jodie's nieces and nephews and god-kids, and more than anything, he took the time to get to know me. And look, you don't even got to say it, I know I'm weird. More than that, I'm manipulative, I'm a hypocrite, and I'm a know-it-all. And he puts up with that.

It's disgusting how much he loves me. This man is sick. And if he can put up with me, and my loud-mouth-ness, and my horrible-ness, he can put up with anything that Jodi has to put on, 'cos, you know, Jodi doesn't have that much to put on. Like I said, she's emotionless, she's cool, chill. But the way that he, the way that you love her, man. I'm gonna tell you this, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for not taking my best friend away from me. For not becoming a jealous douche and cutting me away from her. That you trust her enough that she wouldn't do anything to betray you, and Ima tell you, there's a lotta times where I tried to trick her into saying something negative about you, and she doesn't say nothin.

This woman, I don't know how, loves you so much, she loves you so much, man.  And me, you guys, together, you have my undying loyalty. And let me tell you this, the one thing I can tell you is to constantly grow and grow and grow and constantly strive to be that man, to live up to this woman. And you, you live up to this man's heart, because this man's heart is huge! He has made you into a human being. I have never seen her affectionate, until he came along. Never once.

So love each other and love you both. You have my loyalty, you have my ears, you have everything that I have to give, I love you both. And more than that, continue to grow together. T'wards God, T'wards God, T'wards God. God bless you guys.

Matt O'Boyle: 'He saw her in Supermacs one cold night' song for brother Sean & Caroline - 2015

8 June 2015, Cabra Castle, Kingscourt, Co Cavan, Ireland

Here's a song written by me,

Of how these two came to be together,

Stuck together forever,

From kissing in class to I love you,

From kickin' his arse to saying I do,

Sean & Caroline,

This ones for you.

Let's go from the start way back when

These two met in NUIM Kildare,

Where all the magic happens,

He saw her in Supermacs one cold night,

He said Jesus you're one's a bit of alright,

I'll give her a go,

And what do you know,

They shared a class, Mathematics,

It's just as well, 'cause they're a pair of thicks,

She said, Help me Sean I'm gonna fail this thing,

He said, Not to worry, my dad's the maths king,

So off they went on study dates with Dad,

(It wasn't that weird --ok, maybe a tad),

Who didn't Caroline, she could've been a drug dealer,

She wanted to go somewhere romantic and fair,

Don't worry Babe, we'll go to Ingar,

It's totes romantic,

We're right beside the cinema,

(Five euro deals on Wednesdays).

Her heart was full -- she'd never fall for another,

Apart for maybe the sexy younger brother,

Who knows?

But I'm relieved to be here on their wedding day,

'Cause I honestly thought Sean may have been gay,

Hear me out,

You might think, No. Not him,

But you haven't seen how he looks at Jim.

You've caught her now,

Thank God you didn't miss her,

I'd like to say thanks for the cool new sister,

This is the end of my speech and song,

I hope it didn't drag on for all that long,

So we'll raise a glass to Him and Her,

And wish them the best for their future,

Congratulations guys.

Ollie: 'She deserves a good husband. So thank god you married her before she found one', for Simon and Kim - 2007

2007

Hi I'm Ollie, all the way from the UK

First of all I'd like to raise a massive toast to two of the most beautiful, wonderful and loving people I've ever had the pleasure to have in my life.

So if everyone can raise their glasses ... I've lost mine, but ...

So huge cheers to their future, our fortune, and everyone having a blast in this celebration of this wonderful event.

So before I really get going, let me just say that the formative years I have spent in the company of the groom, means he has had as much of a part in developing my sense of humour as anyone. So although I have tried to make this speech as funny as possible, please blame Simon if it's not.

And my second disclaimer is, that my speech does not really contain any original material. So if anyone is offended, it's got nothing to do with me.

I'm told that the best speech makers follow three simple rules: stand up, speak up, then very quickly shut up. So I'll try and stick to that advice. As part of my research I discovered that according to tradition, I'm supposed to sing the grooms praises, and tell you all about his many good points. Well I'm very sorry to say that I can't sing, and I won't lie.

I'm slightly bothered by the title of best man. If I'm the best man, then why is Kim marrying Simon? So I'm just happy in saying, that I'm a pretty good man. Because today Simon is the best man. And he is a man that admire for many reasons. Most notably his generous nature, what with him donating his body to science when he started at Plymouth University, and preserving it in alcohol the entire time he went there.

Now I know it's traditional for the best man to wax lyrical about the number of ex-girlfriends the groom has had. But I don't want to get into all of that. Because frankly, I find such macho, male posturing vulgar and offensive to the bride. But suffice to say, Simon, number 72, that was your lucky number.

Now I really should grab this once in a lifetime opportunity to reveal to you Simon's past misdemeanors. Unfortunately, I've played a part on most of these, and I really don't want to tarnish my impeccable reputation.

I believe that marriage is a wonderful thing for Simon. It will teach him loyalty, self restraint and control. And it will develop in him a sense of responsibility, fair play, and so many other qualities he just wouldn't need, had he stayed single.

So I'd just like to say to Simon, you're a lucky groom, marrying Kim, who is beautiful, smart, funny, warm, loving and caring. She deserves a good husband. So thank god you married her before she found one.

And now you're married, your level of domesticity needs to greatly improve. You need to find where the kitchen is, and learn what the mysterious items contained within it actually do. Gone are the days of hitting speed dial and waiting forty five minutes. You're going to have to start transferring food onto dishes, instead of eating it directly out of the saucepan. And you know that wet area that kitchens have? It's called a sink. The more you use it, the more Kim will love you.

So if we can all raise our glasses again and toast: to love, to laughter and to a happy ever after.

Cheers!

Tom Fletcher: 'I've married this girl, who's out of this world', Tom & Giovanna - 2012

5 December, 2012, One Marylebone, London, United Kingdom

So um, Giovanna can tell you that the only nerves and anxiety I’ve had about the wedding has been about giving this speech. I absolutely hate public speaking. Me and public speaking are just not compatible, we don’t go together very well. I think mainly because I don’t have any idea how to write a good speech, but I do know how to write a song ... so I hope this isn’t cheating my way out of this too much.

Recently i've been
Having a wedding
I've married this girl
Who's out of this world
Believe me

We are so grateful
To so many people
But we're saying thank you
To only a few
I'm sorry

So if i don't thank you
It means i problaby just forgot you

But obviously, that doesn't mean
We are not grateful
Sorry if your name's not in this song
Here we go
I hope i don't get this wrong

Hey, i'm saying thanks to my ushers
My managers and gi's brother
There's so much i could say
But i haven't got all day

So mario thanks for making
The suits us guys are wearing
We're looking fine and that is why
I wrote this song to say

Thank you
Thank you for being my ushers
Thank you
Fletch you're awesome, the coolest guy
Thank you
Thank you for being my ushers
Guys, i gotta tell you
You couldn't be better ushers
Unless you were usher

Bridemaids
I can't stop thanking you
You look amazing
Wish i could marry you too

You all are so special to my new wife gi
And you mean so much to me
'cause you truly are
The best bridemaids that's ever been
Oh, yeah

So thank you's not good enough
For katie and savanna
You've been there when times are rough
So please, don't go changing

So thank you's not good enough
For laura and kara
You've put up with so much stuff
So thank you's not good enough

Giorgina
You're now my sister in law
But giorgina
You were like a sister before

You are truly a friend
And that means a lot
'cause it's pretty cool that
My sister-in-law is so hot

So thank you's not good enough
Carrie you've done so much
I can't believe you're so grown up
So please, don't go changing

Thank you's not good enough
For singing as we tied the knot
So carrie and georgina
Thank you's not good enough

Thanks to my bestmen
You are the best friends
That i know i'll ever have

You're more like brothers
And sometimes lovers
But we won't tell'em about that

We've been together
For what feels like forever
But i'd do it all again and again

But we're only getting started
And i know mcfly will never end

So lets start with harry
You've been there for me
For all the good times and the bad

Dougie without you
Don't know what i'd do
But i know my life would be sad

Thank you danny
For making me happy
By thinking eggs are vegetables

'cause things like that remind me
How lost i'd be without you all

Thanks to my mum
Thanks to my dad
You've both been the best
Mum and dad i could have

I won't say too much
'cause i know you'll start crying
You gave me everything
From music to flying

I'd be nothing without you
So i hope i've made you proud
You've given me an amazing life
And the groom never lies

Thanks to gi's mum
Thanks to gi's dad
Kim's profitoroles
Are the best that i've had

I hope one day
We'll have a son or a daughter
'cause gi will be a great mum
With the things you've taught her

So kim thanks for being
The best mum-in-law in town
And just look into my eyes
'cause the groom never lies

Mario
Mario

You've made me part of your family
You deserve a medallion
Because i know only
How to swear in italian

But i love your daughter
And you let me make her my wife
So i'll love her for i'll my life
And the groom never lies (he cries, though)

Yesterday you asked me something i though you'd knew
But today you made me smile
By saying i do

Then i whispered in your ear and i said thank you
You have made my life worthwhile
By saying i do

And i would answer all your wishes
Don't need to ask me to
And if you deny me one of your kisses
I won't divorce you

So here's my speech
Or really, it's just a song or two
And this one should make you smile
It's all about you

It's all about you, it's all about you baby

And i would wash up all the dishes
If you asked me to
And i'd even dry and put them away
'cause that's what husbands do

So hold me close
And say three words like you used to do
Dancing on the kitchen tiles
Yes, you make my life worthwhile
So i told you with a smile

And i would answer all your wishes
If you asked me too
But if you deny me one of your kisses
Don't know what i'd do

So here's a toast
Please raise your glasses and champagne flutes
It's to my beautiful wife
From today for all my life
Especially on our wedding night
It's all about you

It's all about you, it's all about you baby

It's all about... you

Tom sings in a band called McFly

https://itunes.apple.com/album/memory...
www.twitter.com/tommcfly
www.mcfly.com

Jonathan: 'He's so old and I'm so young and handsome', for brother Ricky & Lauren

Thank you, thank you. It is great to be [inaudble].

For those of you who may not know, I'm Ricky's younger brother, Jonathan. And I'm extremely honored to be here tonight to be the best man not just to my brother but to one of my best friends, Ricky. You might think it would be hard for us to be so close. We're like 90 years apart. He's so old and I'm so young and handsome. But as luck would have it, both of us have a maturity level of about a seventh grader. RICKY: Put together. JONATHAN: Combined. So it kinda works out nicely.

Before I get all sentimental, it wasn't always so great to be Ricky's brother. I know, it's shocking. But when Ricky was in high school, he often babysat for me, my sister Josie and my cousin Mike. So when it came time for dinner, Ricky used to order a pizza, take in the whole thing into his room and leave us with cool-aid packets. That's right. He didn't even make the cool-aid for us. Now that I think about it, high school Ricky kinda sucks. I can't hold that against him anymore because he's really made up for it since then. Just a show of hands, how many people have ever left a conversation with Ricky thinking, "That guy would really be something if he had a personality." We got one guy. Okay, yeah, not very many. Ricky can make almost anyone laugh except for poor Lauren after she's heard of the same joke for the 90th time.

I'm about to reveal Ricky's most guarded secret. I think Lauren would be here. Ricky is like the funniest person alive, for like twenty minutes next to me after that he's only so-so. I'm sorry, it's true. Don't get me wrong though, there's no one in the world I'd rather hang out with than my brother Ricky. And I mean that literally because we hang out together all the time. Sometimes we even go out to lunch together wearing the exact same outfit. It's a great time until one of Ricky's high school and college friends comes by and thinks as though we might be dating. Let me tell you that it's awkward.

Speaking of dating - see what I did there - Ricky and Lauren have been dating for the past five years. And I just want to say Lauren's making me feel amazing right now because I know this speech was terrible. She'd be giving me this look right now like, "You are making such a fool of yourself." A.K.A the look she gives Ricky 95% of the time. So thank you for the support.

Anyways, out of those five years, I can count on one hand the amount of days that they've spent apart from each other. And you know what, if it hasn't happened yet, you guys never getting sick of each other, it's not gonna happen. And I hope that it never happens because I know that you guys truly love each other.

What else but love can explain how Ricky come up to Lauren and say, "Listen, I have this great idea. I'm gonna put on this tank top, we're going outside, I'm gonna pour this freezing cold jug of milk on my head, I'm gonna make sure it's in super slow motion, and then" - (laughter) - you should give it up for [Lauren] here [inaudible] - and Lauren agrees to it. But the results speak for themselves, [inaudible].

Ricky and Lauren asked me to be their best man, that's right, their best man. Because as Ricky has put it no one has spent more time with Ricky and Lauren together than me. And I know a lot of you are thinking to yourselves right now, "Wow, that sounds terrible. I don't want my little brother hanging around with my girlfriend all the time." But not once did you guys ever made me feel I was getting in your way or you secretly wish I would go away. Maybe once in a while you [inaudible], but I thank you for hiding it so well.

I honestly love you both for all that you've done for me and I couldn't be happier to be here today to celebrate your wedding. If I was less awesome, I'd be crying right now. But instead, I just wanna toast my brother Ricky and my new sister Lauren, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness and I honestly cannot wait to see what your kids end up like.

One last thing, since so many of our family came all the way from the great country of Mexico tonight, I've translated this entire speech into Spanish and I would like to read it for all of you right now. Ricky y Lauren, los quiero.

Read more: http://www.sweetspeeches.com/s/1906-best-man-the-best-best-man-speech-ever#ixzz3ebhmjtTf

Gabriel: 'The condition was that he had to write the best man toast', for Alejandro & Meghan - 2011

24 June, 2011, Massachesetts

When Ale asked me to be his best man I felt really touched. He’s such a classy guy that I was truly honored. But then he quickly followed the invitation with what he said was a very important condition. And I remember he had this conflicted look on his face like as if he wished he didn’t have to say what he was about to say, but he said it anyway and he told me that the condition was that he had to write the best man toast.

Most of you are probably puzzled and are thinking what’s up with that. But I knew exactly what he was referring to. You see, when I was in college, with my whole family in attendance, I gave a bust of an acceptance speech at a scholarship dinner and he’s never let me live it down.

So I knew well, that implicit in his conditional invitation to be his best man was a serious warning that said basically, “Don’t you dare make an ass yourself again at MY wedding.”

So, I did what every loving older brother would do, I looked past the mixed feelings of honor, excitement, AND shame that he had made me feel and I heeded his warning.

And so, as awkward as this may sound, for the first time in my lifetime, and probably yours too, I will now read to you the best man toast written by the groom himself… it reads:

Dear Ale, or as I like to call you when I look at you in the mirror every morning, dear Mr. Perfect (kiss to the bicep):

Today is your day. Tonight is your night. And can I just say this publicly: there are no words good enough to express how good you look right now, but I will try anyhow: you, hot stuff, look outstanding. All that money and effort that you put into getting your tuxedo tailored to fit your perfectly chiseled and muscular physique was well worth it! On most days, Tom Brady’s got nothing on you handsome, and tonight he’s not even close.

To my beautiful new bride Meghan: tell me, my sexy little soda bread, how does it feel to be the chosen one, the luckiest girl in the world who gets to keep this guy by your side for the rest of your life?

I mean, who would of thought that the simple act of taking my shirt off after rugby practice at Framingham State would have resulted in all of this? Well, frankly, I would have. I mean, it’s nearly impossible to resist me. If it were socially acceptable to marry oneself, I would have said “yes” to me too.

Anyhow, today is truly inspired by love, friendship and commitment…and my burning desire to populate the human race with the most beautiful and talented offspring this world has ever seen. Of course, they will all be little Crossfitters who will grow up to teach their cousins how to do burpees with perfect technique and why the Paleo Diet is good for them even if they are not even 10 years old.

Speaking of Paleo, it’s really a shame that the cup cakes are not caveman-approved. To my family and friends, please don’t be offended if I look at you with disdain as you chow down on them later. As for me, I plan on mashing a couple of them together into a kettle bell, freezing it, and doing swings with it a year from now on our wedding anniversary. With CrossFit, it’s all about doing what you can with what’s around you. Like the time we were at the lake house with the O’Brien family and I woke up wicked early to do squats with sandbags and push jerks with a kayak. My goal for this August: to LIFT the entire lake house with the whole O’Brien clan in it.

Well, I’m digressing and I think it’s time to bring this toast to a close, so I would like to end with a few words for Meghan from one of my favorite wrestlers of all time, the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels. Dear Meghan, for the rest of your life, “I guarantee you BEYOND a shadow of a doubt, I will give you a show like you HAVE never… ever seen before…Why?…Because I can.”

PS - Lady’s and gentlemen, the Heartbreak Kid, Alex Verdaguer, has left the building.

On a serious note, I have a lot of fond memories of my times with Ale, and especially those few occasions where we managed to show one another that we really cared about each other. I want to share with you one of those examples. I was in college and I had a big weekend track competition that included some travel, so I had packed my bag the night before. Friday morning, after class, I went back home to pick up my bag and I found a note sitting on top of it. I pick it up, I see it’s from Ale, and it read something like, “Good luck this weekend. I’ll be thinking of you.” I kept the note for a while after that because it meant a lot, especially because it came at a time in our lives when we were both so busy that we barely did much together.

So, I share this story with you also to remind you of the value of doing little things like that to let each other know that you love each other.

Courtney Blair: 'If anyone can turn him, Jen it’s you', For Rob and Jen - 2010

2010, Shaw Hill Golf and country Club, Lancashire

To be honest, I am a little surprised that he is getting married to a lady today,  because there was always rumours going around the family that, y’know, that Rob might not be ... well we thought he might be gay. So I was trying to sum up some of the stories, but instead I put it into a bit of a song, so if you just bear with me.

What’s up Rob? It’s only a bloody song.

Think you’re outdoing me, pal?

So I’ve done it to the tune of ‘Matchstalk Men, and Matchstalk Cats and Dogs’. I know it’s a favourite of some people here,  so we’ll er, we’ll go with it.

So here we are, it’s 2010

A beautiful bride by the name of Jen,

Fantastic day so far’s been had by all,

I hate to be the one to say,

I always thought, that Rob was gay

Did no one read the warning signs at all?

Well it started sat on Santa’s knee,

I was six, our Rob was three

An action man was my polite request.

Then Rob sat down with his list in hand

On Santa’s lap, in this wonderland

And said, ‘I’d like a Barbie doll the best’

So here’s to Rob and Jen, on your wedding day

You were made for each other in every way

Well Rob you’ve got a beautiful wife

And I wish you a happy life

But I still believe that our Rob could be gay.

Well I was flabbergasted, struck with shock,

I couldn’t believe that Rob liked ... [laugh]

Frocks.

But I was a modern brother of the day.

There’s nothing wrong wearing comfy shoes

And meeting men in public loos,

But he’s our kid and we’ll love him anyway.

So here’s to Rob and Jen, on your wedding day

You were made for each other in every way.

Well you know you’ve got more friends than most

Raise your glasses to a toast,

To Rob and Jen, on their wedding day.

Well over twenty years have been and gone,

And here he is saying Jen’s the one,

If anyone can turn him, Jen it’s you,

He’ll steal your products to his hair,

And prance around in your underwear,

But at least he leaves the seat down on the loo.

So here’s to Rob and Jen, on your wedding day,

You were made for each other in every way,

Well Rob you’ve got a beautiful wife,

And I wish you both a happy life,

But in the laws want grand kids by the end of May.

So here’s to Rob and Jen, on your wedding day,

You were made for each other in every way.

Well charge your glasses to a toast ...

To Rob and Jen, on your wedding day.

Daniel Buccheri: 'They're stuck together for life', for brother Adrian and Sarah - 2015

29 March, 2015, Melbourne, Australia

Guess it’s true, what they say

When you become a man

When you find the one and take her hand

Luckily for you, it all went to plan

And she didn’t say no, ‘cause that’d be sad.

Now you’re here with me,

I’m singing my best man’s speech.

For my brother and his wife

Now they’re stuck together for life.

When we were kids, trying to get to sleep

You’d say to me, ‘be quiet please, I’m trying to get to sleep’

But every breath you took,

Used to sound like this [snooore!]

So when you moved out of home, I thought, 'Thank the Lord

I won’t be missing you.'

And then you hook up, with a special girl,

Thought you were dead!

Never saw you again,

Then she found the ignition,

Let you sleep in the kitchen

Had you feeding the dogs,

Doing the laundry and dishes

Your independence is gone,

No more fun on your own,

Except for your bucks last weekend,

When we were having some fun

And although you met, on the internet

I know this love is true

It’s enough, to let the dogs on your expensive rug

And not keep them outside

And hey my new sister

From anther mister

You look so great on your wedding day

I hope it’s been the perfect day

And hey my new sister

Thanks for making him so

Happy all the time

Because his loneliness had never been a friend of his

So he searched and searched for you

Then one day in the craziness you came along

He couldn’t get you out of his head

It was Sarah this, it was Sarah that,

And Sarah this

Oh I knew that he loved you,

Sarah this, and Sarah that

And Sarah this

Oh I knew that he loved you

[musical interlude]

Adrian now, you’ve become a man,

We’re not the kids, we used to be

Though we’d scream and fight, as children

Now I really like it, when we two meet

I’m so proud of you,

All you’ve done for me,

Do you realise or not,

I’ve always looked up to you,

It’s okay, if it gets you emotional,

It’s the same way, I feel for you,

All the time that's gone,

Where have the years gone,

Adrian, I’ve got so much love for you.

So won’t you raise your glass,

[raise your glasses]

For these, these special two

Wish you nothing but the best

For your lives and all the rest

This is love, it’s clear to see,

Oh this is love, it’s clear to see,

So won’t you raise your glasses with me

This is love, it’s clear to see,

I wish you joy and happiness

For eternity

Thank you guys, have an amazing life, I love you both.

Ed: 'And on a side note, if there are any single ladies here tonight', for Joe and Molly - 2008

May 2008, Pittsburgh, USA

Good evening everyone.

Anybody nervous?

My name is Ed Clarke. And I was lucky enough that Joe chose me to be his best man. On behalf of these newlyweds, I’d like to thank everyone for being here today. I’d like to thank the parents, Mr and Mrs Seafort, and Mr and Mrs. Dick, because without them I’d probably be doing this speech in a # park right now.

Specifically I’d like to thank Bev, for the daily lectures the past three months, on not screwing this speech up.

And I’d also like to thank the bridesmaids for looking so good tonight.

I’ve known Joe for a pretty long time now.

It all started out, one summer afternoon before our fourth grade. We were playing some football in the front yard with some neighbourhood kids, and unfortunately that day Joe wasn’t on my team.

And I say this because Joe was a really big guy.

Before the game was over I must have made Joe pretty mad, cos he hit me from behind, knocked me over my brick wall, face first on my concrete porch.

He did this all in front of my father.

That day would soon be known as ‘the day Joe Dick was banned from my house for life’.

Needless to say that ban didn’t last very long. Needless Because over the years, whether it was growing up in Bathal or going off to IUP , living together freshman year, which I vowed never to do again, to living together again senior year, to graduation, and off to Pittsburgh to start our careers.

This is generally the point in the best man speech, where the best man would humiliate the groom with drunken stories of craziness.

Unfortunately at IUP, when Joe was out getting drunk and crazy, I was in the library.

And after graduation, when Joe was down the south side getting drunk and crazy, I was working late.

So I can’t help you with those stories of humiliation, but I think these guys to my left, if you really want one, they can tell you about it later.

One thing I can tell you about Joe is this.

I don’t have a person in the world, that I would call before Joe. Because he is always there for you when you really need it.

And I‘ve needed it a few times.

And that’s why I have no doubt that Joe’s gonna make a terrific husband, and Molly, you made an excellent choice.

Speaking of Molly, I remember when Joe and Molly first started seeing each other, I got a call from Joe that said, ‘hey Ed, I’m seeing this new girl, I want you to come down and meet her’.

Now I don’t know if it’s a guy thing, or just me and my friends, but there’s a rule that you actually can’t like somebody that you’re buddy is dating.

So I went down, walked to the sports bar down in the strip district, ... sports rock ... thanks Tony ... give it up for Tony ... so I walk in and see Joe, he says ‘come in I want to introduce you to Molly.’ I think at the time Molly was talking to a couple of her friends. Walked over, Molly introduced herself to me, and I thought, ‘wow she’s hot!’ But my second thought was ... I wonder what’s wrong with her.

Well over the next several months, whether it was hanging out at Joe’s house, or going over to the bars, or late night Sheetz runs for NTOs, I found out that not only is Molly a beautiful woman, but she’s a great person.

And anyone who can put up with Joe for this long, gets my blessing.

Now for those of you who know me, I enjoy my singlehood. But looking at these two, and not just today because everyone should look happy and great at their wedding, but whether it’s hung over on Sunday morning, those two sitting on the couch in their sweat pants, I can tell how much they mean to each other, how much they enjoy each other’s company, how much they love each other.

And that gives me hope.

That wasn’t supposed to be funny.

Hope that one day I too can find someone special.

And on a side note, if there are any single ladies here tonight, that would like to give me a jump start on finding someone special, I can be found near the bar after dinner.

But in all seriousness, before Bev cuts me off,

Bev - And I’m ready to

To Joe and Molly, and the two of you have a lifetime of happiness together. The best is yet to come.

I love you guys.

Kevin Brereton: 'Little did I know that five years later, I'd be falling in love with my best friend', Kevin and Rachael - 2010

Uploaded 11 July 2010, United Kingdom

Give me a P-I-R Arrrrrrh

Distinguished guests, family friends and JT.

Rachael and I would like to thank you for joining us to celebrate our special day with us. I can honestly say it wouldn’t have been the same without you. It would have been considerably cheaper ...

Firstly I’d like to say a big thank you to John and pat for producing such a beautiful, strong, intelligent, and independent daughter.

John, thanks for the warning about the extreme physical violence I would receive should I not treat Rachael in the manner she deserves.

But you can trust me when I say that I will always love her, and protect her.

I’d like to thank John and Pat for welcoming me into their family. I feel totally at home with them. Although Pat, I don’t think it’s necessary for you to do those naked bombs on me at the villa.

Talking of Pat, would you mind standing up please, do a twirl so everyone can see you, okay that’s enough of that, you give her a little bit of limelight...

I’m sure you’ll all agree that Pat looks absolutely stunning today.

Now they say, that if you want to know what you’re wife’s going to look like when she’s older, just look to the mother. Well Pat, I’m looking -- and I’m liking.

Mum and Dad -- I’d like to thank you for producing such an incredible son. I know, I know, you can’t believe how fortunate you are to have me, but as everybody here today knows, this isn’t about me, it’s about Rachael.

Seriously though, you’ve always been there when I needed you, and supported me through everything I’ve done and thank you for that. 

I’m sure you’ll all agree that Rachael looks absolutely incredible, amazing today. Seeing you walk down the aisle made me think that maybe I’m the one whose got the best out of this deal.

Believe it or not ... did I say it the wrong way round?

Knew I should have read the card.

Now believe it or not, one of us in this relationship can be quite arrogant.

They can also be pig headed, stubborn -- they think they know it all from how to cut grass, to how things should operate in the bedroom. But luckily for me, Rachael has been patient, open and willing to learn.

On a serious note, though, I’d like everyone to know how lucky I feel to have Rachael as my partner in life.

We met 13 years ago, and quickly grew to be very close.

Little did I know that five years later, I’d be falling in love with my best friend.

I remember our first night spent together at Vicki’s house. Which at the time had no doors on the bedrooms, I’m really sorry Vicki. [Inaudible]

And thinking Rach might take me too seriously, I uttered those immortal words, ‘Rach, I just want you to know, this is just for fun.’ Can you say, fucking hell?

Unfortunately for me, Vicki was listening in the next room, and I was subjected to a huge amount of abuse for the next six months. Or was it four years? However it wasn’t really just for fun because within two weeks I’d fallen head over heels, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Rachael is caring funny intelligent and beautiful, I’m so lucky that you lowered yourself, to me.

I’ve had the best eight years of my life with you, and I’m looking forward to spending the rest of my days by your side.

I must say it’s not always easy being Rachael partner. I try to keep myself in shape for her over the years. Is she dissatisfied with my body? A tiny part of me says yes.

Rachael, thank you for marrying me and loving me so much.

Ladies and gentleman, please be upstanding for probably the most important toast I’ll ever make.

To my life and my absolute world -- to Rachael.

And there’s more. Finish on a peak they say.

Leah, thank you for being the best bridesmaid we could have ever hoped for. You look absolutely stunning today, which I’m sure everyone has said.

And we’d like to give you a gift, but not just for being a great bridesmaid, but for being a wonderful daughter as well.  It’s a load of Tesco’s shopping bags.

I’d also like to thank Helen, Vicki, Jo and Lucy, for all the help organising Rachael ahead of today. Although she can be quite well organised, when it came to this wedding, she genuinely didn’t know that we were supposed to have a guest book, or even a wedding cake.

Thanks to Pearce, Ali and Andrew for being my ushers today. There wasn’t much for you to do but look good, and although you might have let me down somewhat on that front. I understand that you tried your best.

Kim, some more tears might be coming here. I want to thank Kim for agreeing to be my best man. We’ve shared some of the best times together over the last eighteen years, [video runs out]