Uploaded YouTube, 2012
For those of you that don't know me, from Jorge's family, my name is Brendon James, and I am the best friend of Jodi Ray Juan Fernandez, and her one and true maid of honour! One and true. This is not (?).
You know, like, to prepare for this toast, I talked to Jorge a couple weeks ago and asked him. I go, 'When was the moment that you knew that Jodi was the woman that you would chase down no matter what, or how many times she would refuse you. How did you know she was the one to persue?' And he said it was the first time, was it the first time you played together? (Jorge: Yeah)
It was the first time that they played together, and he used one of the smoothest lines in the books, he said, 'Hey, I forgot my guitar pick. Do you happen to have a guitar pick with you?', and Jodie, she reaches into her purse and pulls out like seven, and goes, 'Yeah, here's one.'
And Jorge, he says 'when I touched her hand it felt so soft, it felt downie-soft, it felt like the wings of angels were upon me, it felt like God himself reached down and grabbed the tears of every baby child and injected into my heart. That's how it felt.' He said 'it felt like Zoe Deschanel was singing karaoke. He said it felt like I was in an elevator alone with Ryan Gosling and he pulls me towards him and kisses me, the lights glow, everything dims, and he turns around and proceeds to kill a man who has been hired to kill me.' That's what he told me. He's very poetic. Did you guys know? He's great with metaphors.
And you know, and me, being like very true, I asked Jodi. I go 'Jodi, on that day, in that magical moment, where you changed Jorge's life forever, what did you feel when he touched your hand?' And she took a deep breath, she paused and she looked me in the eye and said, 'Well I was sick, I didn't even notice.'
Oh, I'm just getting' started. Here's the thing, If you know Jodi, you've heard it. Jodi is so cold she's got ice in her veins. Blood in her eyes. Everyone here, turn. You guys are all sitting on chairs, turn and hug your chair. Hug your chair just a little. That's how it feels to be hugged by Jodi. There's no life, no empathy, no sympathy, no remorse, no emotion, no care, no love, no feeling... (film is cut here)... And after tonight, she will remember 'most' of you.
And so it wasn't until I, believe this or not, became a youth leader at church and she became the music ministry leader, -- around that time we became close to each other. So close, that in fact when she graduated from high school she moved to LA to go to this school, known as Cal. State University Northridge, AKA The Worst School of All Time. Am I right CSUB? Ah, and when she started going to school there, me, not knowing what to do with my life at the time - some of you are familiar with this feeling, some of you are there right now -- I went and followed suit, and I started my glorious career, working graveyard at Chevron.
And look I wasn't Jodi's only room mate, and I wasn't the only one working at Chevron. Mr Michael Neil Lepien, will you stand up and take a bow. This man, believe me, in his younger days, looked liked Rufio from Hook. This man was handsome. He's advanced 250 pounds 5 times, he's beautiful.
And we lived with Jodi. And it was amazing. We loved Jodi so much, she'd come home from school, and we'd be playing video games and we could hear her opening up the door and we be like 'Oh my god, Yodi's home, Yodi's here, Yodi!'
We'd come to the door, 'here, I'll grab your jacket for you' and he'd say'I'll grab your backpack for you,'.
She didn't know how to react to this. At first, we used to call her 'Chodie'. Until she found out what a chode was. So we changed it. We did a lot of things together. We'd go to Costco together. Jodi would buy wings so she could make her specialty wings, I would buy some sausages. Michael Niel Lepien, AKA 'Nipple', Nipple would buy sausages too. We loved sausages. And we'd have a chicken, sausage and sausage fest.
Where we'd get together, and you know what living together (sic), that was the first time, I'm sorry, that was the first time I had a girlfriend, it was while I was living with Jodi that this word appeared. It's this wonderful lady named Kirsten. Kirsten Crook. From a place called Smallville. And she would come every ah, what Wednesday, Thursday night? I don't remember. Tuesday night, I don't even know. 'Cos I don't care about it any more, she cheated on me with some guy named Kal El. I don't know if you guys know what I'm talkin about.
But we lived together, we loved each other, it was the best times in the world, until Nipple betrayed us and moved away. In all those times I'd go with Jodi to buffets, restaurants and we'd eat. We'd go to beaches, we'd go to Malibu, we'd go to Pepperdine University, we'd go to different churches, and some of you here, through those weird trips, is how you met, not only Jodi, but I myself. And we just went everywhere together.
And during this time, she became a woman. She learned to pluck. She knew how to put on some lip gloss and be popular. She knew how to wax. She learned to shave -- everything. And she became beautiful. She went from tea cups at Disneyland, to tea cups at Magic Mountain, you guys know what I'm talkin' about? And it was during this time that she just looked like, and she became this woman that looks like Megan Bier's younger sister, that I thought to myself, 'Man. If I can't find an amazing and beautiful woman that I love, I wouldn't mind settling for Jodi. She'd make a beautiful and wonderful back-up plan.' It was amazing. She's a wonderful woman, she's great, she's spectacular.
And then Jorge came. And he ruined this. So you gotta understand, I didn't like Jorge. In fact I don't like him now. But, dammit I respect you. You lucky son-of-a...
And let me tell you why I respect Jorge, let me get next to him, so he can punch me after I'm done.
I respect him, because he put up with disgusting Filipino tux which I probably could not do, and I am Filipino. He put up, no I really don't wanna say 'put up', he's been made..., this ring, this whole wedding, this ceremony, this is just for show. He's been married to her for years. And if you've ever saw how he treats her, you know what the hell I'm talking about. This man treats this woman like he loves this woman, and I know a lotta guys who say they love their woman and don't treat them like they love them. But this man treats her like he loves her, because he does, and he's not afraid to show it. Oh believe me! ...oh stop.
But he didn't just marry her, he married us. And you guys know what I'm talking about. I know plenty of guys who would take the woman and just keep them to themselves and never let the girl go out. He let her have her freedom, he never took anything away from her. He added himself into the equation, you understand? And he got to know us.
He became close to my brother, who's one of the most conceited and self-centred man that I've ever met. He thinks he's a king. He is not the king. Umberto is the king.
He befriended Boney, who is a jerk. He thinks that 9/11 was a conspiracy! He doesn't believe in Obamacare. What the?
And you know he befriended Tim, Timmy boy. Who agrees with everything. No matter how negative it is. He will agree with you.
He's a very positive man. But more than that, you know, he married the women in Jodi's family. Who are absolutely crazy. Who are absolutely bi-polar and loud. Here look, Johad, Gilbert, they're married to the family, they know what I'm talkin about! They crazy! These women are insane.
And he took the time to get to know them, to get to know all of Jodie's nieces and nephews and god-kids, and more than anything, he took the time to get to know me. And look, you don't even got to say it, I know I'm weird. More than that, I'm manipulative, I'm a hypocrite, and I'm a know-it-all. And he puts up with that.
It's disgusting how much he loves me. This man is sick. And if he can put up with me, and my loud-mouth-ness, and my horrible-ness, he can put up with anything that Jodi has to put on, 'cos, you know, Jodi doesn't have that much to put on. Like I said, she's emotionless, she's cool, chill. But the way that he, the way that you love her, man. I'm gonna tell you this, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for not taking my best friend away from me. For not becoming a jealous douche and cutting me away from her. That you trust her enough that she wouldn't do anything to betray you, and Ima tell you, there's a lotta times where I tried to trick her into saying something negative about you, and she doesn't say nothin.
This woman, I don't know how, loves you so much, she loves you so much, man. And me, you guys, together, you have my undying loyalty. And let me tell you this, the one thing I can tell you is to constantly grow and grow and grow and constantly strive to be that man, to live up to this woman. And you, you live up to this man's heart, because this man's heart is huge! He has made you into a human being. I have never seen her affectionate, until he came along. Never once.
So love each other and love you both. You have my loyalty, you have my ears, you have everything that I have to give, I love you both. And more than that, continue to grow together. T'wards God, T'wards God, T'wards God. God bless you guys.
